The Steps Between Us
by serphxheat
Summary: During the winter months, Rick and Daryl's relationship starts to change as they get closer to each other. But dangers all around them put their budding relationship on rocky grounds. If they can survive the dead walking then why not the pitfalls of a relationship?
1. Chapter 1

It starts out simple, quick, messy. A meeting of bodies not minds. A moment to forget the horrors of their world. A chance to force endorphin into their joy starved bodies. The winter months were long and this changed the pace the demands of leadership placed on both their shoulders. For Rick the leadership is taken and deserved. For Daryl it's forced something he reluctantly and grudgingly accepts for the good of the group.

The group's paranoia seems to increase on frozen cold nights. Everyone perceives the sharp intake of breath is a walker at the door. The slight shift for warmth is the bitters climbing the stairs. But on these particularly cold nights Daryl keeps his eyes locked on the frozen wasteland. He takes it upon himself to keep long watches those nights. Everyone's mind plays tricks on them. Everyone but Daryl. He keeps his eyes calm and focused. When he is on watch, there are no imagined foes in the woods.

Daryl seems to barely breathe on those nights. It's one of these nights when Daryl is sitting slumped and relaxed against the window frame. The group is asleep in the room two over. The house is cold and everyone is shivering against each other. Everyone but Daryl and as he quickly realizes Rick. The hunter's sharp ears can easily detect each member of the group's particular footsteps. Rick's quick, quiet, and controlled footsteps are just like the man himself.

The door opens without a sound but the hunter's sharp ears pick up on the movement of the door opening. It didn't need to make a sound for him to know that Rick was entering the room.

Daryl doesn't move when Rick stands at his side. The prickle on the hunter's neck means Rick is watching him and not the world outside the window. Daryl wonders if Rick intends to take watch. Instead, the man moves to the other side of the window and sits down on the frame. Daryl folds his legs up to make room for the taller man. He keeps his eyes on the window but Rick has his piercing blue eyes locked on Daryl's face. The hunter twitches under the gaze. Finally, after a long minute Daryl flicks his eyes quickly over to Rick's. A question in those seconds that their eyes locked. He doesn't ask. He doesn't need to. The pair had spent enough months fighting, hunting, and leading (much to Daryl's displeasure) together. Words were no longer necessary between them. Daryl's eyes asking if something was wrong. Rick slowly shook his head at the question.

Daryl would have probably believed the man if he had stopped his eyes from doing that thing they do. The whole police trying to get you to confess to a crime with their deep soulful eyes. Daryl resisted the urge to fidget under the man's continuing gaze. He titled his head back towards Rick. In a gesture that silently asked "What? What's the problem?"

Rick's response was to slowly run his tongue across his lips before sighing and finally looking away from Daryl to the winter wasteland beyond them. This just perplexed the hunter more. Rick was quiet sure but he didn't often mince words. When something needed to be said, he'd say it.

Dixon's by nature didn't like all the bullshit that people seemed to obsess themselves with. Daryl was no exception. It was a large part of why he refused to get into the little fights the group had fixated on when they were still at the farm. Daryl was a man of action, he wouldn't argue about what to do with a barn full of walkers. But the moment that he was given a gun and saw the danger that those walkers posed to the group he moved to eliminate the threat. Shane had seen it as a way to assert his control yet again undermining Rick. Daryl had seen it as a danger to everyone present. Had one gotten out before they could take it down then things would have gone to hell quickly.

"You ever think about that day on the farm?" Rick's voice broke Daryl out of his thoughts and memories. "The one in front of the barn?" Rick didn't need to clarify. The man seemed to be stuck on the same memories as Daryl. The hunter gave a slight nod. Every once in a while when he looked at Carol, at what a survivor she was becoming Daryl questioned how Sophia would handle this world. Would she come as strong as Carl and help them clear out houses? Or would she be drawn towards Hershel and trying to learn all the different ways to keep the living alive? He didn't often let those thoughts linger. There wasn't a point. No matter how painful it was their world would continue with or without them, alive or dead. Daryl personally would rather be on the living side of things.

"Before Shane opened the door I had the walker on that harness." Rick's eyes slid to Daryl's. "Do you remember?"

"Hm." Daryl grunted softly in response.

"Shane gave everyone guns. You remember? Everyone was in such a panic. No one really knew what he was thinking. Not really sure Shane knew what he was thinking either. He was like that you know? Get all derailed by his own emotions and swept up in what he thought was the correct path." Rick mumbled softly. His eyes had a faraway look like he wasn't really there. Daryl shifted not wanting to stop Rick but at the same time, Shane was a psychotic dick and then he died. Nothing to think about in Daryl's mind. Rick suddenly turned to Daryl and locked eyes with him. "You kept your gun on the walker I was holding. Why?"

Daryl shrugged hoping that would be enough of an answer. Rick kept staring like he wanted more. The man never seemed satisfied with the Dixon way of talking through shrugs and grunts.

"I mean everyone else didn't seem to know what to do with themselves but you just kept that gun on my walker the whole time."

"Cause someone needed to make sure ya didn' get yerself killed." Rick chuckled softly to himself at that. Daryl licked his lip quickly. "Cause if that walker got ya the group would be broken."

"You said that to Dale once right?" Daryl nodded. "Do you still think we're broken?"  
Daryl considered his words carefully for a moment. Were they broken? Sure things had changed and sure things weren't ideal. The farm had seemed like a dream (even to Daryl) but it turned out to be like everywhere else they'd been. It turned into reality. The group had lost people (some more missed than others in Daryl's opinion) but they were still together. They were still alive. Rick had taken complete control of the group but he hadn't steered them wrong so far. He did what was best for them. Even if the group didn't see that yet.

"Nah." Daryl replied. He meant what he said to Carol after the farm. Rick has honor. Rick's honor was to protect his family. The group was his family and Daryl had no doubt that if the situation called for it Rick would die to keep his whole family safe, not just Lori and Carl. Daryl realized that sooner than anyone it seemed. It was why Daryl kept his gun on Rick's walker. Why he would have killed Randall for Rick had he asked. It was the reason why he did kill Dale. If Rick was going to put himself in position where he'd get killed protecting the group then Daryl would die so Rick didn't have to. If Daryl died the group would suffer a food source and a fighter. If Rick died the whole group would suffer not just Lori and Carl. The group might not realize it but Rick's death would cause the whole group to become unstable. With Rick's death they'd fracture and drift apart before eventually meeting death. Daryl didn't have a family outside of Merle. This group was his family (despite his resistance) he cared about them. He wanted to keep them safe and if that meant taking a mortal blow for Rick then that's the way it was supposed to be. Daryl didn't consider himself suicidal though and preferred an opinion that kept both him and Rick alive.

That was why he stuck close to their leader. If he eliminated the danger before it got to Rick then it was a win win. Daryl kept Rick safe and Daryl didn't have to die to keep him safe. The group didn't lose either man and would be safe for a few more days.

"Sometimes I think the group would do better with someone else in charge." Rick murmured to himself. "Someone like you." He stared pointedly at Daryl. Daryl huffed at the statement. He could feel his body twitch uncomfortably at the idea.

"Nah. Ya'll need someone else in charge. No damn good at leadin'."

"I think you'd make a fine leader…" Rick started before Daryl shook his head.

"Nah. Don' even think about puttin' me in charge. I won' do it." Daryl narrowed his eyes at Rick. Rick's lip quirked slightly at him. The two were silent for a moment as Daryl returned his eyes to the darkness outside. Rick kept darting his eyes between Daryl and the wall behind his shoulder.

"I never thanked you." Rick said suddenly.

"For what?"

"For standing by my side during all this. You could have easily left and survived on your own. You didn't." Rick's eyes seemed to be trying to pull apart Daryl's mind. It made the younger man feel uncomfortably watched. Daryl shrugged. "Everyone still seems so angry about my choices."

"I wouldn' say that. They're scared. Ever'things changed so fast. Takes time to adapt." Daryl mumbled keeping his eyes fixed on the spot behind Rick's right ear. There was some whispered resentment toward Rick's power play. But it seemed like the group largely accepted that Rick was keeping them alive.

"Well regardless thank you. Lori acts like I've done something unthinkable with Shane. Killing him I mean." Rick suddenly didn't want to look at Daryl at all. The way he kept his eyes on the floor screamed prey and weakness to the hunter's keen senses.

"He tried to kill ever'one. Maybe not all at once. But he put ever'one in danger. I don' pretend to know what happened that night but ya wouldn' have done it if ya didn' see any other way." Rick nodded slowly with Daryl's words. Almost like he was trying to convince himself that Daryl was correct. "I mean he killed Otis." Rick's body tensed like he'd been shot. "He tried to kill ya. His stunt with the barn coulda killed ya'll. I woulda killed him too."

"I never knew for certain if Shane killed Otis. Lori thought he did but I never really knew. Didn't really want to know. I mean he was my best friend. We grew up together for Christ sakes. I didn't want to think that he could do something like that. Maybe I was too busy trying to hold onto the way things used to be to really see the way the wind was blowing. Didn't see how far he had fallen." Rick took a deep breath and looked at Daryl. His eyes were desperate and vulnerable. Something Daryl had never seen in the other man since they had first met. "Lori blames me for killing him. For not being the bigger better man and letting him live. She told me herself that he was dangerous. That he was going to take her and Carl from me. If I were stronger I never would have let those words get to me. I let myself give into paranoia and killed him. But really I just got tired of him putting us all in danger. I couldn't take it." Rick exhaled slowly. "I think Lori wishes Shane were alive instead of me."

"If she does she's an idiot." Daryl cut in. His eyes were narrowed almost to slits. "Shane didn' care about anyone but hisself. Sayin' that ya should be a better man is dumb. People were killin' each other before all this shit went down. Bein' a better man only counts if there's a way to be that man. Things have changed too much for ya to let a danger to the group live." Daryl stared at Rick trying to convey how important he is to the group. Just not with the whole touchy feely crap. "Truth is its all 'bout adapting. Somethin' we need to get used to. Things ain' like they were. Can' think they are else ya die."

"Adapting. I didn't think I could adapt to this world but here I am. Shane said we couldn't survive by being the good guys anymore. I wonder if this world was better suited to someone like him than someone like me."

"Nah." Daryl disagreed. "Shane wasn' adaptin'. He could barely hold on in the end. Adaptin' means more than bein' alive. Means more than survivin'. Means you live and protect what's important. You did that. Shane couldn'. He only thought 'bout him, Lori, and Carl. Not the whole group. Like I said he only thought about hisself." Daryl swallowed once while keeping his eyes locked with Rick's. "Ya, Rick ya protect what's important and ya don' let all this shit ruin ya. It's not just 'bout livin'. Ya didn' break like Shane did. Ya kept goin' strong even when it's difficult ya adapted just fine."

"Maybe not as good as you did." Rick laughed softly. Daryl shrugged.

"This world's just like the one I've always lived in. Only difference is there's more reason to use a crossbow than a gun." Rick quirked his lips in a slight smile. One point of tension between them had been the use of the guns or not. Daryl had argued that the noise and waste of ammo wasn't worth it. That they were more likely to attract walkers with guns. Rick argued right back that crossbows and knives could only get you so far, especially if you were facing a herd. The argument had gone on for a while before Glenn and Maggie made a dangerous trip into town to get silencers. It had become something of an inside joke between the two of them.

"Thanks." Rick murmured softly. "No one's ever said the things you've said. You know how sometimes you know something but you really need someone to tell you that you're right? I think it's a little like that." Rick trailed off. "Only I wasn't sure I was right." Daryl nodded and Rick sighed deeply. His whole body sagged with the movement. "You know I really just came here to ask you if you wanted me to take over watch for you." Daryl quirked an eye brow. "Really! I did! I guess I just find it easy to talk to you." Rick shrugged. "You don't tell me what I want to hear or blame me. You just tell me the truth. A valuable trait in a person." Daryl's ears and neck seemed to burn at the man's words. He wanted to fight the blush that was quickly taking over his face but didn't know which part of his body he should hit in order to kill the blush. "I feel at ease around you Daryl. I don't have to try to keep calm or controlled around you. I don't have to worry about leadership or anything. I can just exist in the moment. Right here, right now." Rick smiled warmly at Daryl. "It's a rare thing to find in this world."

The burning was all over Daryl's face as the man Daryl respected and admired continued his praises. He'd never been praised or complimented like this before. The last time was probably when Daryl skinned his first kill correctly at the age of seven and Merle's praise tended to be a hard slap to the back or a smack upside the head. Rick didn't seem to notice how his words were affecting the younger man. "Thank you really." Rick said reaching forward. His hand closed around Daryl's which was clenched tightly around his crossbow. Daryl tried to repress the flinch he really did. But it was so ingrained in him he ended up banging his elbow against the window in instinctual jerk backwards. Rick noticed his movement and his eyes widened nervously. He bit his lip and almost seemed like he was going to pull away but instead he seemed to have come to a decision and kept his hand atop of Daryl's.

Daryl in contrast was breathing heavily through his nose trying to keep his heart beating normally. The stubborn organ had a mind of its own however and started to beat erratically. Ever since Daryl had fallen down the cliff and gotten shot by Andrea the group had been more open to him and more physical with him. A kiss on the forehead from Carol. A hand clasp from Glenn. Ever since then he tried to control his natural flinch that came with close contact with people. Daryl knew it made the group feel guilty and hurt but his reaction had been beaten into him from an early age. Rick squeezed his hand gently and that kept Daryl grounded. It kept him locked on the present and not on childhood terrors.

Rick's hand was warm and quite large when compared to Daryl's own slightly smaller hand.

"Is this okay?" Rick whispered his eyes locked on Daryl's shuddering form. Daryl breathed quickly in and out forcing himself to calm down. He reminded himself that this was Rick touching him. He wouldn't do anything to hurt him. (Aside from point a gun at his head. Though admittedly he'd never shot. Andrea did though.) Rick didn't hurt people he cared about. (No but he killed his best friend) A voice that sounded a lot like Merle's said in his ear. Daryl licked his lips and focused on the pressure of Rick's hand on his. His hands didn't try to hit him or crush his bones. There's nothing to fear from Rick. He went back for Merle even when Shane and Lori tried to convince him otherwise. He was willing to face the Vatos alone to save Glenn. Rick is a man of honor. He reasoned with is fears. A man to be protected because of the value he was to the group. With a deep exhale Daryl nodded shakily at Rick.

"You sure?" Daryl nodded again a little steadier. Rick squeezed his hand again. "Good. You know I'd never hurt you right?" Rick whispered but his voice sounded so close to Daryl's ear that he trembled slightly. "No matter what, I need you. This group needs you. You're important to us. You're important to me." Daryl's face burned again. Rick gave one final squeeze before he stood up. "If you need some rest come get me and I'll take over okay?" Rick was at the door before Daryl could respond.

Daryl's heart was pounding but for a completely different reason now. He pressed his flushed face against the cold window in an attempt to chill the heat coursing through his body. Needed? Daryl had never been needed let alone wanted before. Rick was needed and wanted by the group but him? He blew out a heavy breath and closed his eyes.

"Needed huh? Somethin' to get used to I guess." Daryl sighed and looked out the window. One thing he knew was that he would not be getting any sleep tonight. Rick's words would be bouncing around too much for any sleep to get through tonight. The thoughts of the group needing him? That would be something for him to consider at length. Daryl hoped the answers he wanted was outside his window in the frozen land below him.

* * *

Well this is my first fanfic. Hopefully it's not too bad. I've spent too long with this story stuck in my head so I thought why not? Any mistakes made are all mine. I try to look over the story but somethings slip past me. Yes this is probably going to end up in a slash story but I'm planning for a slower build up before getting there. Hopefully you enjoyed the ride so far. Thanks for reading and review if you have the time.


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks progressed and the group continued to struggle. The paranoia on watch was replaced with an almost desperate longing for walkers. At least that would provide the group something to do. Some warmth from movement and adrenalin. Instead they'd found a rather defensible location of a sturdy home that the group had been trapped in for nearly a month. Rick never allowed them to let their guard down even for a second. Someone on watch every minute of the day. Supply runs done only once a week in groups of two to four.

That left the issue of food. Food was Daryl's department. Sure Glenn and Maggie got standard supplies that sometimes included canned food but Rick preferred to keep those until the group was really desperate. The winter months seemed to be testing their strength and fortitude against the body limits. Daryl kept the group as supplied in food as he could. But competing against nature (it was a particularly nasty winter, the last time Georgia had such a blizzard and harsh weather had been back in the 1990's according to Hershel) and walkers made Daryl's job incredibly difficult. He would never say it was impossible there was too much riding on his shoulders to say it was impossible.

Daryl was used to going hungry. His childhood was filled with pockets of time when he didn't get enough food for weeks. He knew the difference between hunger and starving. It was part of why he learned how to hunt. To make sure the hunger didn't hit the starving stage not if he could do anything about it anyway. The rest of the group however was a completely different matter. For Carl who'd never known a missed meal in his life (not even when he was bad Rick confessed to him one night when the group had been snowed in for three days and the canned food had run out.) The gnawing aching feeling of the stomach moaning its own distress a novel but nasty experience for everyone but the hunter.

Daryl often found himself driven outside in the snow or freezing rain in hopes of finding some food, any food. He often rushed out in the middle of the night when the soft growls of hunger and little whimpers became too much for his sensitive ears to bear. More often than not, he would stay out all night until finally _finally_ a rabbit or squirrel would scramble across his path. But every joyful smile or nod his successful hunt gained was often short lived. No matter how big his hunt was it was _never_ enough. Someone always seemed to go hungry.

As Lori's pregnancy continued that drift grew even bigger. Daryl hated the looks that the one person would send towards those who had food that night. It became hard for everyone to not be resentful (despite all attempts otherwise.) With Lori's pregnancy with little Shane she ate like Shane did back at the rock quarry. Not like Rick who even when things had been better (peaceful almost) made sure that every member of the group had enough to eat. (At the rock quarry things had been different though the group seemed to almost eat double what they needed just to keep Daryl and Merle out in the woods as long as possible trying to secure their precarious position in the group. But perhaps that was just Shane's excuse even from the start he never seemed to like the Dixion brothers. Something Merle instantly picked up on and tried to instigate even more fights than usual because of Shane's attitude.) This observation led Daryl to believe it was Shane's child not Rick's growing in Lori (a completely stupid reason he knew but at this point who cared.) That and the unfortunate times when Shane and Lori's groans had scared off all his prey back at the quarry (seriously if you're going to send a hunter out to hunt then don't do _it_ in the woods. Their sounds carried for miles much to Daryl's disgust.) Then again the pair wouldn't have known subtlety unless it bit them in their too perfect faces.

As food became sparse Rick often gave his food to Lori and Carl. Daryl in response kept his food and gave it to Rick when he came by to check on how much food and supplies were left each night. The hunter never mentioned where the food came from, Rick wasn't stupid chances were he knew where the food came from. But Rick had also lived a pretty sheltered life. Hunger was undoubtedly something new to him as well. However, despite Daryl's best attempts the whole group (minus Lori) lost weight. More than was probably good for them. They'd put on muscle certainly but still it was painful to see ribs sticking out on Beth or Carol. Or elbows too slim on Carl's already small body. It struck an unpleasant cord with Daryl and reminded him too keenly about his childhood. It was especially difficult to see Rick's already slender body grow even thinner. It felt like a personal failure to Daryl.

As spirits dropped with the temperature and food became a rarity Daryl came to the realization that the group desperately needed meat more than a rabbit or squirrel could provide. He wanted deer or pig or even beef (though he highly doubted finding cows. Not with walkers having a taste for anything that moved.) Glenn had begged him to find a pizza shop at one point and got a sharp smack to the back of the head for that comment. Daryl had been planning the hunt for nearly a week. He knew to find larger game meant hunting and mostly tracking for a few days. That meant leaving the group a man short. One less mouth to feed on the plus side, on the down side one less man on watch and one less fighter should things go wrong. So many things to consider. Like what if a herd passed by while Daryl was on his hunt? The group would be forced to leave with or without him. He would never admit it but part of the reason why he didn't travel too far from the house was in case something went wrong and the group needed to leave quickly. He didn't want to be left behind.

But the need for bigger game pushed Daryl past his concerns and hesitations. No matter how many rabbits, squirrels, and other small creatures he caught it was never enough. But venison or pork something like that could really fill the groups bellies and leave enough for some jerky for emergencies. Realizing it had to be done Daryl started making the necessary preparations. Now though Daryl had to decide how to approach the subject with Rick. Ever since that night when Rick had confessed his fears and thoughts the man had been especially dependent and reluctant to let the hunter leave even to hunt.

The opportunity presented itself just a day after Daryl decided he needed to tell Rick about his plan.

"She needs more food Rick." Hershel whispered harshly.

"We all do." Rick sighed heavily. Normally Daryl wouldn't listen to conversations that were being held behind closed doors. He never told the group exactly how sensitive his hearing actually is. They had a hard enough time getting past his brash demeanor and scathing tongue. (But truthfully Daryl could hear every conversation everyone had in the house. Hell, he knew more about the dynamics of the group the first night at the quarry than they did almost a year later.)

The difference was Daryl didn't give a damn about what they said. He could have told Rick that Lori was pregnant but that would have accomplished nothing. Dixon's stayed focused on the situation at hand by nature. Not on past mistakes. It was both a great strength and weakness of their bloodline. Daryl considered briefly walking away thinking he could wait until they involved him personally but by then it might be too late. He steadied himself and eased the door open.

Rick and Hershel were looking over their food supply (smaller than a gas stations candy section and that only if a really small gas station. The kind that served only one or two costumers a month.)

"Then we should get some." Daryl spoke hesitantly. Rick glanced up at him. His eyes briefly crinkled into a smile before reality tugged back at the man.

"We have you going out once sometimes twice a day. Glenn and Maggie are going out once a week. There isn't much more we can do than that." Rick stated.

"I mean we need bigger food like a real meal." Daryl tried again. He didn't want to explicitly say what he meant to Rick but he seemed to get it almost immediately. His blue eyes grew cold and fiercely angry when he looked at Daryl.

"What do you mean?" Hershel asked, he hadn't noticed the change in Rick's demeanor yet.

"I mean a big hunt like a deer or pig." Hershel's eyes seemed to brighten considerably. Rick's in comparison got even darker.

"That would certainly-"

"You can't." Rick cut in. His whole body tense and hostile like his tone. "We need you here."

"Yah but ya'll need food more." Daryl argued. Rick shook his head. "I'd only be gone a few days!" He insisted (though he knew it would probably be closer to a week.) Rick rubbed his temple with his right hand.

"No."

"Either I go now or we wait 'til people start starvin'!"

"No." Rick said again.

"Think of ya wife and kids! They need the food!"

"I said no!" Rick exploded suddenly. He was at his full height towering over Daryl. Even though the hunter was only a few inches shorter than Rick his sudden explosive anger made Daryl recoil and shrink in on himself like a wounded animal. Daryl narrowed his eyes and felt the Dixon blood and anger take over when he responded.

"Try and stop me." He hissed before storming out of the room. Daryl was halfway down the block before Rick had caught up with him.

"Daryl." Rich called behind him. The hunter moved faster away from him and kept his eyes facing forward refusing to look at Rick. "Daryl!" Rick hissed again. Daryl clenched his jaw and kept moving. "Daryl…please…" Rick whispered he had stopped moving after the hunter and was standing in the middle of the street watching Daryl's retreating back. Daryl blew out a breathe.

"Ya can' stop me." He grumbled at Rick. The sheriff moved quickly to place himself in front of the determined hunter.

"Daryl." Rick started. Daryl kept his eyes downcast so he wouldn't have to look at Rick. At the anger he was certain was in the sheriff's eyes.

"We need food. We do." Daryl insisted.

"We do." Rick agreed.

"Then we have to get it. We can' keep livin' like this with so little food."

"We need _you_." Rick whispered back. Daryl's eyes widened and he looked up at Rick quickly. "What if you go and something happens? We can't make it without you." That burn started in Daryl's cheeks again.

"Ya'll do fine without me." He mumbled back. Rick shook his head.

"No we wouldn't. We _need_ you." He insisted. Rick sighed softly. "But you're right we do need food. And you're the only one who has a chance of getting some." Daryl stared hopefully at Rick. "Listen to me." He gripped Daryl's arm. The hunter managed to mostly repress the flinch. "You _have_ to come back. You have to." Rick gazed hard into Daryl's eyes. "We aren't leaving until you get back. Understand?" Daryl nodded even if a herd came along they would be waiting. He didn't know if that was something he wanted to hear or not. He didn't want to be left behind certainly but more than that he wanted the group to be safe. "When you get back." There was no if. There was no room for an if in Rick's mind. "We're going to start hunting together." Daryl nodded. He had told Rick after they left the safety of the farm that he would teach him how to hunt properly and they were making progress before the winter hit and that cut their lessons short. "You need someone to watch your back out there." Daryl almost argued that he did better on his own when hunting but the look in his leader's eyes made him stop. "Daryl?"

"Hm?"Rick leaned forward and put his head against Daryl's forehead. The hunter did jump at this. But Rick kept him there and held onto his arm to keep the hunter from fleeing. He could feel Rick's breath against the side of his face. Rick stared at Daryl while Daryl shifted the touching was almost too much for him to deal with. He had to work at breathing normally. More than that he had to resist the urge to punch Rick right in the face. The last person who dared to touch Daryl in such a way was in the hospital for two weeks. But this was Rick. He reasoned with himself.

"Come back. That's all I want." Rick murmured against his temple. "Promise me you'll come back?"

"Can' do that." Daryl mumbled. "Can' promise nothin' anymore." Rick trembled at that. Daryl saw Rick start to twist in on himself like he was trying to escape from reality. This caused even more distressed to rocket through the hunter. He huffed as he felt Rick's body shake against his. "Dixon blood oaths don' break." He slurred. Rick looked perplexed. "When Dixon's make blood oaths we always carry through. It's a matter of pride of our bloodline. Nothin' more reliable than a Dixon blood oath." Daryl explained softly. "I can' promise I'll be back but I'll make a blood oath that I will." Rick smiled softly.

"Isn't that the same thing as a promise?" Daryl huffed.

"Nah promises can be broken. Dixon blood oaths ain' never broken. Otherwise ya ain' a true Dixon." Rick thought for a moment.

"You ever break one?" Daryl puffed his chest up at that question.

"Names Dixon ain' it?" He glanced at Rick who nodded at the statement. "Nah I've never broken one. I'm a Dixon through and through." Rick nodded.

"Then Dixon blood oath?" He asked. Daryl nodded in response.

"I'll be back with food." He glared at Rick making sure he wouldn't argue at Daryl's intentions. "Say so on my Dixon blood." The tension in Rick seemed to melt away instantly.

"Okay." He nodded pulling back. Daryl gave a quick nod and took a step back. Rick seemed more secure and at ease than he had minutes ago. "Here." He said handing Daryl a small bag. "Supplies." Rick explained at Daryl's confounded look. "Everyone wants you to be safe too." The bag felt rather full.

"Ya sure?" Rick nodded.

"Stay safe." Daryl slipped the bag onto his shoulder right next to his crossbow. He gave one last look at Rick and the house that the group was in. A reminder of what he was hoping to accomplish with this trip. "Remember, Dixon oath." Rick reminded him. Daryl's lips quirked up slightly before he turned around and made his way towards the forest. The faster he found food the sooner he could return back to the group.

* * *

So now you've finished chapter two! I hope you enjoyed it. If you have time review and let me know what you think! See ya'll in chapter 3.


	3. Chapter 3

It was close to a week and a half before Daryl returned to the group. While he was gone the weather got worse and Glenn and Maggie reported three different herds getting closer to the house. Rick couldn't leave not after promising Daryl they would stay but as their safety grew precarious, the idea of leaving or staying started to eat away at Rick.

Everyone in the group had their own opinion on the matter (none very helpful) it ranged from leaving immediately to staying to questions of why he even let Daryl leave in the first place. The last was a bitter pill for the officer to swallow. He tried to stop Daryl from leaving but the man was bound by his own set of rules and personal codes. The end of the world didn't change that about him. In fact, it seemed to make him even more determined to do what had to be done. Rick could no sooner stop a wildfire with a squirt gun than he could Daryl.

"I'd rather take the fire." Rick mumbled to himself keeping his eyes on the tree line. After Daryl had left the group's paranoia returned almost triple fold. Leaving Rick to do the majority of the night watch alone. He hadn't really understood what Daryl meant to the group until the first night that he was gone. Things just didn't operate the same without him. He hadn't realized it but Daryl's mere presence had a calming effect on the group. They didn't have to worry about food. Or getting lost. Or being ambushed by walkers. Or doing night watch. Every time Rick made a list in his head about the things Daryl did for the group the list got longer and longer. Every time he kicked himself for letting their most valuable member go.

A pain in his hands drew his eyes away from the woods for a moment. Without realizing it he'd been biting his fingernails again. Over the last few days Rick had bitten his fingernails almost down to the beds. They bled and ached often but the internal stress persisted. Lori had expressed concern the first night after seeing the bloody nails and said the last time she saw him bite his nails like that had been before Carl was born. Rick blew a breath out slowly trying to calm his nerves.

"He'll be back." Rick mumbled to himself. "He'll be back." Those words stayed with him for days. For days he kept his eyes on the woods. When the days turned into a week the whole group seemed to be waiting with baited breath. Suddenly Rick could catch everyone glancing out the windows several times a day. At first Rick was concerned that it was more paranoia from them but he quickly noticed that everyone was looking for their missing redneck.

The officer had thought that he was the only one who missed Daryl so keenly but to see how his absence ate away at the whole group created a warm feeling in his chest. "He'll be back." Rick sighed. A soft hand touched his arm.

"You're right." Carol whispered softly. Things had been tense between them since they left the farm (he was certain she was still upset about the fact that he kept Jenner's words a secret from them) but their concerns over Daryl the past few days helped to bridge the gap a little. Carol joined Rick at the window where they could both look out on the world and more importantly the forest surrounding the house. She looked stronger than she had the first time Rick had met her. Her shoulders were solid and her blue eyes were stronger than they had been before. It was a look that suited her.

"I shouldn't have let him go." Rick whispered. He knew Carol would be willing to join him in his 'let's hate Rick' party that he was throwing for himself. That's what he needed or maybe felt he deserved. Someone to tell him how awful and how much of a failure he was so he might one day build himself up from that low point. So he could become better for himself and everyone around him.

"You could have." Carol agreed. "But he would have left anyway." She looked at him with a gentle look in her eyes. Rick felt like a child again seeing his mother's nurturing eyes. Carol was kind of like that to the group, a mother to them all. "At least this way he left knowing we're behind him. That we're waiting for him to return to us here. Makes the difference between him feeling like he failed us by leaving or that he is returning like a child who's about to get scolded. Instead he'll return with the feeling that we want him to come back here. That he's doing us all a favor by putting himself at risk." Carol smiled at Rick. It had been her that helped Rick gather the supplies that he gave to Daryl before he left. She had realized before anyone that he was going to leave and had the supplies waiting for Rick to deliver to Daryl. Rick returned a small smile to her.

"I don't think he realizes his worth." Carol nodded her head at his words.

"No he doesn't. It's hard to feel self-worth when you've spent your whole life being told how worthless you are." Carol's eyes got a scared faraway look that made Rick's jaw clenched, he hadn't known Ed for long but if he had he probably would have beaten him like Andrea said Shane had back at the quarry when the group had split to go back for Merle. Physical abuse towards ones own family was unspeakably evil in Rick's eyes. Having seen many cases of abused women and children when he was still an officer of the law was agonizing for him. Especially when he knew that he couldn't help them. They were often only able to help when the women explicitly asked for help and more often than not they couldn't do very much except suggest leaving the abuser. It was frustrating and painful to see such abuse and be unable to help in any real way.

"Did Daryl tell you?" Rick had seen the man's scars after he'd been shot. But he had a felt a twitch of recognition in the back of his head at the quarry. That feeling ate at him when Shane released Daryl from the chokehold he had him in it had been something in the man's eyes that clicked with Rick. His eyes were feral as he panted on the dirt. But under that look there was something that reminded Rick of the children from those abuse cases. They shared that haunted, broken, desperate look.

"He didn't have to." Carol shook her head. "I know what it looks like." She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "Just like you do." Rick nodded slightly. Even before the scars Rick had known. If his eyes hadn't tipped Rick off it would have been the way Daryl held himself. It was different from everyone else. The world went to hell but they still held themselves much the same as they had before all this. Everyone held themselves like they were friends, survivors, equals. But Daryl held himself like he felt that he somehow wasn't as good as the group, like he didn't deserve to be in the same area as them. Like he didn't merit a place at the group's side. It was something Rick doubted Daryl recognized in himself. Something buried deep inside the dark part of the hunter's mind. Something that was probably beaten into him. It made Rick's body shake with rage. No one deserved to be treated like that and Daryl who despite his rough exterior was still kind at heart didn't deserve that treatment. Carol shivered slightly in the fading light.

"Are you cold?" She shook her head and wrapped her slender arms around her body.

"Listen Rick… I have something to confess." Rick nodded to show he was listening. "I wish I could say this to Daryl but if I did I'd be scared of him trying to distance himself from us again." Rick nodded again. At the farm Daryl had distanced himself from the group for only a week but it was long enough that things had started to derail. Had things not fallen apart all at once Rick would have gone to try and talk sense into Daryl himself. But he had to find Hershel and deal with Randall and that ended up leaving Carol to try and convince their damaged and withdrawn hunter to rejoin them. Regardless of how Carol felt about him, Rick would always be grateful to her for getting Daryl to return to them.

Had she not made the effort Daryl probably would have continued to drift away until he either left them or the group themselves wanted him gone due to his regression back to the violent irrational man Rick had met at the quarry. He would have regressed to Merle's level. But that hadn't happened and with Carol's help he returned to the group. He pushed beyond his childhood trauma and reservations to become the man he was meant to be his whole life. He did things that surprised them all, Rick especially. Without asking for anything in return Daryl did the hard things that Rick himself could not. Daryl returned and (undoubtedly without his knowledge) tied the group's will to survive with his own undefeatable strength. However once again Daryl treated himself like he wasn't worthy of being in their presence. But Rick (and he suspected Carol) worked hard to reassure Daryl that he was more than worthy of being with them. Worthy of being at Rick's side as a second.

"When Daryl and Merle originally join us at the quarry, I wanted them both gone." This surprised Rick. His eyes widened slightly when he looked at her. She had been Daryl's biggest fan for longer than even Rick himself had been. "I mean Merle is understandable to a degree." She chuckled in a self-deprecating manner. "I mean he was self-destructive to a degree that he probably would have killed us all in some way or another. Plus things were hard enough without another violent man around…like Ed."

She trailed off after saying her husband's name. Rick wondered if she was thinking of Ed or the more painful subject of her daughter. Sophia was a raw wound for him as well. An injury for the whole group, one that would probably never heal completely. "But Daryl… I mean I never tried to get to know him. I doubt that any of us really did. The only one who really ever talked to Daryl was Shane and that was only to tell him to get more food. That's all everyone saw them good enough for. Getting food for us. I don't think we ever thanked them. I know I never thanked Daryl. He did so much for us and we all saw him as nothing but background noise with a racist loudmouth for a brother. I want to say that it was because I was too busy trying to adjust. Or that I was trying to keep Ed in line. But that's not true. I managed to get to know the others pretty well but Daryl he was an outsider. I didn't trust him and especially not Merle. I grouped them together like they were the same class of man. Men that the world would be better without." Carol looked at Rick her eyes were brimming with tears. "But Daryl kept trying. He brought food without complaint. When Merle was gone usually off trying to show that he was the better hunter. Daryl would try to fit in."

"The odd shape trying to figure out where it fits inside of the puzzle." Rick added to which Carol nodded.

"Exactly. I think deep down he wanted to make it work. Wanted to get along with everyone but we all rebuffed him. None of us wanted to talk to him. We'd avoid eye contact. Avoid talking to him. I think we just wanted him gone. And Daryl he realized it maybe not totally but instinctually he knew. So he stopped trying. Stopped hoping to fit and instead allowed himself to be used and pushed to the outside. Like that was all he was good for. Instead of trying to fit in, he became ill-tempered and quick to lash out. But I know how hard it is to be completely disregarded as a human being. How painful and the kind of scars it can leave. But I did that to him anyway. It's not really that big of a surprise that he would lash out when we treated him like that. I'd always say he's violent that's why I didn't want him around but truthfully maybe we pushed him to respond violently towards us."

"I hurt you first so I can't get hurt by you, kind of deal?" Rick asked and Carol's eyes grew larger and tears started to trickle down the side of her face.

"Yeah. That's exactly how it feels when I look back at how we all acted towards him." She seemed to curl in on herself at that moment. The shadows engulfed her body.

"But he stayed with us and helped us. He could have left after Atlanta or the CDC. But Daryl stayed, so maybe that was his not so obvious way of giving us all a second chance?" Carol smiled slightly at Rick's words. "Or knowing him he'd say 'Didn' have nothin' better to do.'" Rick said trying to mimic Daryl as best as he could. That got a laugh out of Carol before she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Yeah that's probably exactly what he'd say." Carol finally relaxed. She seemed better after talking to Rick about what happened at the quarry like some great weight had been lifted from her slender shoulders. It was one of the many things he didn't know about the group's dynamics before he found them. "You know I heard Glenn tell Carl that the reason Daryl is taking so long is because he has to make the dough for the pizza himself." Rick chuckled.

"He's still on about that?" Carol grinned.

"Yeah, he is. Boy Daryl was mad when Glenn mentioned Daryl needing to get pizza."

"If I remember correctly he said that Daryl needed to 'hunt' some pizza, like it was a wild animal and Daryl hadn't been looking hard enough." The pair laughed together and for a moment things seemed okay like the dead weren't walking around. Like they weren't starving. The moment broken when Carol's stomach gave an angry growl. Rick reached into his pocket and pulled out the granola bar he had. It was one of the last ones they had. Rick made a mental note that Glenn and Maggie would need to go out for more supplies soon. He handed it to her.

"Thanks." Carol whispered peeling the wrapper away like it was the most precious thing in the world.

"Can you believe that less than a year ago we'd just call Domino's and have them deliver a pizza to us."

"Or drive to the grocery store."

"Or go through drive thru and get a Big Mac."

"Took a lot of things for granted then." Carol mumbled and Rick nodded in agreement.

"Yeah we all did."

"A lot of bad things have happened in this world. But bad things were happening before the dead started walking." Carol said her eyes locked with Rick's. "Even with all the bad there's still some good in this world." Rick scoffed.

"Really? When you find that good thing let me know will you?" Carol was quiet for a moment.

"Sometimes we have to hope that things will get better. This world is hard enough without a reason to keep hoping for things to get better. You need a reason to live especially now." Rick sighed. Hope seemed like such a distant thing at this point. Something gone and extinct along with BBQ's and trips to the supermarket that don't require a gun for protection. All that mattered was keeping the group alive. Hope could come later. After everyone was safe. "Well…" Carol sighed touching Rick's arm. "How about that for good news?"

She pointed out the window. Rick moved closer and could see at the edge of the tree line was the slow moving figure of Daryl Dixon and strung across his shoulders was a large buck. Daryl's crossbow was in his left hand while the right held the buck steady on his back. Rick smiled and felt peace return to his mind almost instantly.

"You're right. That is good news." Rick and Carol smiled together as Daryl made his way back to them. Things were already looking up as the whole house rejoiced with the knowledge that Daryl was back.

"Hope restored." Carol nodded to the front door as the group made their way to meet Daryl on the front steps. The excitement and joy seemed to explode through the group and Rick agreed with her. Hope did seem a little closer for the moment.

* * *

That's the end of chapter 3! Thanks like always for reading and if you have time write a review. Hope to see everyone again in chapter 4!


	4. Chapter 4

The week and a half that Daryl was gone was rough. Despite the careful rationing of his food, he still ran out after day five. Just to keep going Daryl had to hunt for his own food on top of track and continue his search for bigger game. When it reached a week Daryl considered calling it quits. Considered going back without anything. He could gather enough squirrels and rabbits to make his failure less painful. He considered it but the thought of everyone's growling stomach. Of the desperation on Rick's face, those images drove him onward. He was a Dixon after all.

"Dixon's don' give up." He mumbled to himself and pulled his vest around him tighter. Being in the house for so long made Daryl feel like he was losing his edge. The cold felt sharper than normal. Sleeping in trees was harder than when he was a child. "Gettin' old." Daryl grumbled under his breath. It had been a long time since he'd slept in a tree. It was skill he had picked up from childhood, one of the few talents he had that Merle didn't have or couldn't do better than him. Even when they were children Merle was bigger and more solidly built than Daryl. Daryl had always been smaller and nimbler than his brother. That difference made it possible for Daryl to climb high into the trees and create a nook for him to sleep in, safe for the night. It was how he often escaped from his father's wrath when he was younger.

But unlike Merle who had to rope himself into the tree otherwise he'd fall out. Daryl required no safety net. Never needed one. No matter how many nights he slept in the trees he never fell out. As a child he preferred sleeping in the trees. The noises of the woods kept him relaxed and the trees were safe from his father. The trees were a safe hiding place from reality at least for a few hours. However, once his father realized what he was doing, sleeping in the trees became harder. He nailed his window shut and locked Daryl in his room at night. He had been fourteen when that happened. But as Daryl and Merle soon realized after joining everyone at the quarry, sleeping in trees was second nature for Daryl. He was able to do it just as easily as he did when he was a child.

But now all the sleeping in the beds at the house ruined the feeling of the trees. Or maybe it was the snow on the trees that made it tough. He woke up more often than not shivering and covered in snow. Maybe it was the sounds around him. The snow made everything louder. His footsteps sounded like gunshots in his ears. This caused Daryl to wake up with a jolt at every sound. Whatever the reason Daryl struggled to get enough sleep. He was lucky though overall, having run into only three walkers during the time he tracked.

The hunt for big game got worse and worse. He found no tracks or no living tracks to be exact. The one he found and followed for a while only lead to a small deer that met its end as walker bait. There had been almost nothing left by the time Daryl found it. It was a huge waste of time and energy.

It was by sheer luck that he found the clearing. He had decided to go up into the forest and head towards the mountains in hope that there would be something there. Normally deer venture down the mountains during winter to look for food. But with the walker threat around maybe the deer would return to places that were familiar. At least that's what Daryl hoped.

It was lightly snowing when he spotted it. A big buck moving slowly through the trees. Daryl leveled his bow at it waiting until it paused before he took the shot. The buck however moved at the last second and it clipped his shoulder muscle instead of nailing him right between the eyes. The buck bolted and took off into the woods. Daryl charged after him, the memory of his last deer hunt ending in the doe being a walker's last meal was still fresh in his mind. It was not going to happen that way again. Daryl was determined. The deer wanted to live sure but the group needed the food more. The two raced after each other all over the mountainside. Every time Daryl thought he might have lost the deer, a glimmer of fresh red blood on the snow led him onward. For almost a day, the deer lead Daryl on a crazed path through the mountains. Each time the buck paused to take a break, he took a breath too.

If he'd shot it a little deeper he probably could have waited until the buck exhausted itself from blood loss. But every drop of blood was one more drop that could easily draw walkers in. Daryl refused to let them get his prize first. Midday on day two of his deer chase the buck led him to a large clearing. It was there in the freshly fallen snow that Daryl finally got his kill shot.

The elation that burned through him almost made him scream and holler in ecstasy. Daryl's excitement was cut short when a walker burst through the trees but a quick shot from his crossbow took care of that problem. However, it served to remind him that the area wasn't safe especially for his fresh kill. Daryl quickly maneuvered the buck onto his back. All things considered it was a pretty big buck with a good amount of meat on him. Should be enough to keep them going for a while at least according to Daryl's estimation. Exactly what the group needed. Exactly what Daryl said he'd bring back.

With a huff he started down the mountain toward the house. As night started to fall, the hunter realized he couldn't sleep in the trees as he'd done the previous nights. Not with the buck on his back. If he had some rope he could hoist it up high enough that if walkers did get close they couldn't be able to get at the deer. No the only and safest path for him and his cargo would be to keep going he realized. The buck got heavier the longer he carried it. But Daryl was still excited by the idea of the fresh meat, it made his mouth water. The taste of venison on his tongue kept his feet moving even when he had to eventually move the crossbow to his hand since the buck kept slipping lower and lower down his back. It took some of the pressure off his back but not all of it.

Daryl hummed softly to himself as he walked. The snow made it slow going. By morning he reached the foot of the mountain. "Now's the easy part." Daryl said softly to the buck on his shoulder. "Lucky it's so damn cold. Otherwise ya'd start to stink." Daryl pushed the deer up higher. "Ya know them city folk. Won' eat nothin' that smells even slightly off. Even now they're still pretty sheltered in what they'll eat. S'ok though ya just have to sneak the food back in their meal in a slightly different way." Daryl realized talking to the deer or rather himself actually helped a bit. It kept his mind off of the long walk and the ache in his body. "Done that ya know. Tried to get them to eat some possum. They wouldn' so I waited, cooked it up again with some beans the next night and they couldn' get enough of it. I told them it was groundhog." Daryl panted slightly when he paused for a moment. The good thing about the effort needed to move the buck was he didn't feel the cold caused by the snow. "Them city folks are a bit spoiled but they'll adjust. They're already doing loads better than the first few nights at the quarry. Hunger makes ya eat 'bout anythin'. But ya-" Daryl pat the buck's rump. "will feed them nice and good for a while." As the sun started to dip he could make out the house beyond the trees. "Almost there." Daryl murmured and shifted the deer once more. As he started across the neighborhood, the door to the house swung open. Within a minute the whole group was out on the lawn watching him. Rick, T-Dog, and Glenn rushed to meet him.

"Hey ya'll." Daryl raised his hand in greeting. Rick's smile was so warm and easy that Daryl felt his heart stutter slightly.

"Welcome back Daryl." Rick said softly.

"Ya'll gonna make yerself useful and help? Or just watch me carry it?" He growled at T-Dog. Daryl used the gruff tone to hide how the stares of admiration and amazement from everyone made him feel jittery and his face flushed but not from exertion. T-Dog helped take the legs while Daryl got the shoulders. No way was he letting the buck out of his sight. The group cheered and pat him on the back as they moved towards the entry of the house. He restrained the instinctual jerks from his body and instead moved the energy to the rest of his body. So it came off as tired muscles shaking from exhaustion when in reality the weight was considerably lessened with T-Dog's help.

Carol held the door open and smiled warmly at him as they passed. "In the kitchen." Daryl jerked his head towards the right. They hiked the buck up onto the long wooden table where Daryl could finally take a deep breathe. The whole group had crowded in to see the buck. In his experience city folk were usually not very comfortable around dead animals. Hersel, Maggie, and Beth lived on a farm so they never seemed bothered by the same things that troubled the others. But even Lori was excited and interested in seeing the deer. Daryl gave them all a few minutes to enjoy the idea of the meat before shooing them out. "Ya'll can' eat it raw!" He exclaimed at the disappointed look on their faces. "Gotta cook it first!" Lori helped move the group away so Daryl could work. She convinced the group that they needed to set places for such a feast. That seemed to satisfy most of them enough to convince them to leave.

"Do you need any help?" Maggie asked as she and her father lingered.

"Nah. I got it."

"If you do holler alright?" Maggie insisted before they too left. Soon it was just Daryl, Carol, and Rick left in the kitchen.

"I'm glad you're back Daryl." Carol said softly as she smiled at him. He nodded in response. "We were all worried." Daryl gave a soft grunt back in reply. He was itching to start cleaning his kill but it didn't feel right to do such a bloody thing in front of her. Daryl ran his finger across the hilt of his blade to try and keep his calm while she talked to him. Carol gently touched his forearm. "Thank you Daryl."

"For what?" She got a strange look in her eyes when she replied.

"For everything." Daryl shrugged.

"Sure." Carol left the room rather quickly after that, saying she needed to help keep everyone occupied while Daryl worked. That left Rick standing in the corner keeping his eyes fixed on Daryl. "What?" Daryl asked as he pulled his knife out.

"Nothing." Rick replied quickly.

"Ya just goin' to stand there?" Rick shrugged.

"Thought I'd help out." Daryl huffed at that. "Or at least watch. Make it a part of my training." Rick said getting closer to the table so he could have a better view.

"What training?" Daryl questioned as he ran clean water over his hunting knife in the sink. Hershel had insisted that they keep some of the bottled water in the kitchen so they could maintain some level of sanitary conditions when cooking food.

"You know the one where you said you'd teach me how to hunt?" Daryl quirked his eyebrow up at that.

"I remember just didn' think ya would be interested in this part."

"It's part of hunting isn't it?" Daryl nodded as he wiped the water from his blade. Rick gave a small half smile before stepping back slightly. Rick might be willing to learn but he wasn't yet ready to start cutting just yet Daryl realized.

"Normally we'd hang it outside. Can' risk that anymore. Plus we'll be movin' on soon enough so don' have to worry 'bout cleanin' up." Rick nodded but his eyes had a distant look to them. "What?" Daryl asked trying to get a response from the man.

"You think we'll be leaving soon?" Daryl squinted at Rick wondering if this was the best way to tell the man that the house was in no way a permanent solution (though Rick undoubtedly knew that.) They all did even if they didn't want to openly admit it. The house and the surrounding area had run its course. The supplies and food would start to dwindle and Daryl knew it would be easier to move onward while they still had supplies to keep the group going. Daryl licked his lip nervously.

"I think it would end badly if ever'one stayed too long." Rick nodded and blew out a deep breath.

"Game is running low isn't it?" Daryl nodded again as Rick's blue tired eyes watched him closely. He looked resigned to this fact.

"I don' know 'bout the supply runs but I had to go pretty far out to find him." The hunter pointed his knife at the buck.

"I was hoping we could put it off for a bit. But moving on has been coming for a while. I just wanted to wait till you got back before starting all the plans." Rick smiled warmly at Daryl who felt his cheeks flush in response. He grunted to shift focus from the feeling like his tongue was full of cotton. He didn't want to outright admit it but the fact that Rick waited made a sliver of relief slide into his chest. Rick didn't want to leave him behind (unlike Shane who always looked for any reason to be rid of him) and a small part of Daryl couldn't help but feel like maybe Rick wanted his opinion on new places to move the group. That maybe Daryl's thoughts on the groups security mattered to their leader. Those thoughts were quickly crushed by the whisper in his ear.

"Scrape ya off their heels like ya was dog shit." Merle hissed at his temple.

"Daryl?" Rick was staring intently at him. His eyes crinkled in worry. "You went all quiet." Daryl shrugged and turned back to the buck. This needed to be dealt with now. He didn't have time to think about any shifts in the group dynamics (especially imaginary shifts.)

"Better get to this." Daryl cleared his throat. Rick nodded but his eyes still glanced at the hunter in concern every few minutes. "We need to remove the skin and head first." Rick took a deep breath and shakily nodded. "We'll start with the skin. First make cuts all around the legs." Daryl explained and cut his knife quickly around the legs. When he finished he showed Rick exactly where he cut and how deep the cut was. The officer dipped closer for a better view. "Now hand me that bucket." Daryl gestured with his knife towards the corner.

"Pot." Rick mumbled when he handed it to Daryl. Daryl rolled his eyes.

"Fine gut pot." Rick's head snapped up and his eyes widened.

"The what?!"

"Gut pot or gut bucket. Think I prefer bucket personally. Pot makes me think of needin' to piss." Daryl mumbled scratching the stubble on his chin in thought.

"Ugh thanks for that mental image." Rick groaned. Daryl huffed as Rick got an even paler color but the man was nothing if not determined. "What's next?"

"We take the blade and cut from the hind legs downward. Ya do it right and it should meet on the belly of the deer. See?" He pointed it out to Rick. "Similar thing from the front legs. Cut up towards the belly." Rick's eyes were glued on the cuts like he was trying to memorize exactly how everything was supposed to look on his first time. "Now we remove the balls and such." Rick gulped audibly. Daryl took pity on the man and did that part as quickly as he could. That wasn't the most important part of the process anyway. "Now comes the skinnin'."

Daryl gave Rick an example by cutting the large part of the hind leg and pulled the skin down. He cut whenever the skin got caught on the deer. "If the skin sticks ya might need to cut the tendons connecting the skin to the meat." Daryl pointed at the area where the white strands still connected the pieces together. He pushed and cut the skin working on removing as much as he could without damaging it. These weren't ideal situations to be skinning a deer but he would make it work regardless. As the process continued Rick got paler and paler. "We'll remove the shoulder muscles now. Get that tub." The hunter pointed at the tub normally used to put office supplies in. "Normally I'd put ice in but we're going to cook everythin' at once. Can' risk any walkers getting at it and it'll be less work for us anyway."

Rick held the tub as Daryl pulled out the hatchet they kept in the kitchen. (Rick had insisted that they keep a weapon in every room after that narrow escape a few months back.) Gripping the front leg hard Daryl hacked away. A few solid cuts and he could remove the leg. Daryl dropped it into the tub. Rick's arms trembled slightly but after Daryl gave him a quick look the officer gathered himself and held his ground. Daryl made quick work of the other leg and plopped it next to its mate. "Ya can put that down. We don' need it for a moment." Rick seemed grateful for that as he set it down on the table near the deer's back legs. "Now ya make a cut here. Not too deep." He warned Rick cutting across the stomach. "That way we can get to the intestines and remove them without too much trouble."

"Do you eat those?" Daryl shrugged.

"Ya can eat most of the deer. Though some parts taste better than others. But I won' make ya if ya don' wanna eat it." Rick looked relieved by this.

"What are we eating?" Daryl wiped some of the sweat from his eyes with the side of his arm.

"The heart, liver, lungs, shoulders, legs, ribs, tenderloin, stuff like that."

"And what are you going to do with the rest?"

"Can make stuff from the skin I guess. If it gets real cold ya can use it as a blanket. The guts could be used to bait a trap. Though that might just attract walkers instead. Guess it could be used as a distraction for walkers, the smell of the meat might draw them away. The bones could even be sharpened into a shiv I guess."

"I think I prefer guns and knives thanks." Daryl grunted in agreement.

"What I'm getting' at is there's lots we can do with the leftovers. Might try makin' some jerky, might be hard cause of the weather." Rick nodded, his eyes were bright at the prospect of all the supplies one animal could bring the group. "Now we need to remove the neck and head." Daryl said drawing their attention back to the half-cleaned buck. This was done quickly with Daryl's hatchet.

He tossed the head into the gut bucket as well. He'd never been one for mounting his kills. Daryl preferred to use as much as he could from his kills. Merle and his old man had enjoyed it though whenever they could actually afford the supplies to mount a kill. "Normally the guts would have moved down thanks to gravity but we don' got the setup for that. So…" Daryl trailed off his eyes sparkled with a slightly crazed look as he reached inside of the deer's chest. The sounds it made was like sloshing through a mud pile that was full of guts and blood. Daryl gently pulled the guts down where he could work with them. Last thing he needed was to pick out deer pellets from the meat before they started cooking it.

He cut the meat clinging to the intestines making sure it came out cleanly. When he pulled his hands out they were full of blood and guts. He tossed them into the bucket, which was already close to full. Rick's face was ashen with an almost green shade around the edges of his cheeks. "If ya are gonna be sick do it away from my buck." Daryl warned. Rick shook his head and breathed deeply through his nose. Daryl cut around the heart, lungs, and liver before he tossed all three into the tub with the legs. "Ya okay?" Daryl quirked his eyebrow as he started to work on the rest of the chest. He was mostly done removing the ribs by the time Rick replied.

"Would you believe this is the first deer I have ever seen skinned?" Rick's pale blue eyes looked slightly off just like the man himself looked slightly off kilter.

"Really?! Then why the hell did ya want to gut that walker back in the woods?!" Rick shrugged sheepishly.

"Didn't think you would want to."

"I'm a hunter." Daryl growled in response.

"Didn't seem right to force you to do it if you didn't want to." Daryl huffed.

"That's stupid. Yer stupid."

"Sometimes." Rick half smiled.

"Ya remember this." Daryl warned pointing his knife at Rick. "Never try to take away somethin' a Dixon's good at. Specially huntin'! I've been huntin' longer than most of ya'lls been drivin'." Daryl grunted at the end and pulled the ribs up where he could cut them in half.

"That part of the Dixon rules?" Rick asked softly. Daryl snorted.

"No such thin'." He finished cutting the ribs in half before looking up at Rick again. "I'm serious ya don' try to take huntin' away from a hunter. Never ends well."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Rick raised his hands up trying to calm Daryl down.

"Good." Daryl clicked his tongue before turning his eyes back to the buck.

"If you want I can leave right now and you can work. Not have to worry about anyone taking your job." Daryl scoffed.

"No way ya could take over my job. Yer too squeamish." Rick bristled at that and crossed his arms angrily. "Doesn't matter anyway. Ya need to stay."

"Why?" Rick looked perplexed. His anger lessened as his confusion increased.

"Cause I made the blood oath to teach you."

"You technically didn't." Rick cut in. Daryl shrugged.

"I figured it was part of comin' back with the buck. Teach ya to hunt and brin' meat as an example of what ya can do with the right skills and trainin'." Rick smiled at Daryl's words.

"That sounds like you." Daryl's face felt hot again. He dropped his eyes quickly down to the buck.

"'Sides if somethin' happened the group needs at least one person who knows how to catch food." Daryl bit his lip, he hadn't meant to let that slip. Rick's eyes had thrown him off his game and he'd spoken without thinking. He hadn't mentioned this thought to anyone, mostly because the group never wanted to talk about it. It wasn't something anyone would want to dwell on but Daryl knew that if something did happen to him the group would be in a hard place without as much food coming in. Rick had to be the one to learn because he would survive, Daryl would make sure of it.

"Nothing will happen." Rick said harshly. His eyes narrowed in that self-assured way he had. The man had a nature that felt like he was demanding the world to bend to his will. It wasn't there always but the times that that side did come out the group felt it to its core. The last time Daryl had seen this side in Rick had been the night when they'd all fled from the farm and Rick declared himself the unopposed leader of the group.

"This world isn' like it was. 'Sides even in the old world people died for no reason. Hell my aunt Kathy died on the pot when I was thirteen. Didn' find her for days. 'Course she was a nasty piece of work. By the time they found her she'd swollen up like a giant balloon. The heat does that ya know. Took almost the whole family to pull her off of that pot and into the grave." Rick's eyes were cold and narrowed.

"Don't do that." He hissed.

"Do what?"

"Try to change the subject." Daryl grunted. He moved to focus back on the buck's hind legs but Rick cut him off. "Did you agree to teach me because you've been thinking about this?" Daryl shrugged. It wasn't something he could avoid thinking about. Even if he managed to push the thoughts away it was always there at the back of his mind. "Look I promise-"

"Can' make promises anymore." Daryl cut in. Rick sighed.

"Okay then how about this, I'm tired of watching people die. I don't care if it's our world we live in now or not. I'm just tired of it. So we the group stay alive all of us. No dying not if we can help it."

"Not just 'bout dyin' anymore." Daryl locked eyes with him. "It's about dyin' and turnin'. That's the real problem. Death's natural. Everyone dies. It's the comin' back that's the problem." Rick's shoulders sagged.

"You're right."

"Then we need to figure out what to do."

"If I remember correctly you said zero tolerance for walkers." Daryl looked away from Rick quickly. It's one thing to kill a walker or someone out of mercy. But it's a completely different thing to kill a friend. But if it came down to it better to kill than let them become one of those walkers. Especially if they came back and ended up hurting the people they cared about. At least that's how Daryl felt about it. Rick sighed. "We'll talk to the group. See what they think." Daryl nodded.

"Whatever ya say goes." Daryl mumbled.

"Not on this." Rick replied sharply. "This involves all of us." Rick rubbed the bridge of his nose. He seemed resigned to fact that this discussion would end badly. "But maybe we should wait until after dinner huh?" Rick peeked between his fingers at Daryl. Daryl dipped his head in agreement. When Rick had his assent, he moved out of the hunter's way who worked rapidly with the rest of the buck's meat. Rick watched him closely but silently. Neither man wanted to talk about the upcoming debate with the group. Daryl was content to be left with the methodical task of cleaning the deer. That was something he knew. The world may have ended but it had stayed much the same.

When Daryl finished the gut bucket was filled to the brim. He moved it to the side. The idea of using it as walker bait was one he was itching to try. But that would have to wait until a later. The skin he'd also love to spend some time with to make a blanket or some leather for the group. But that too would have to wait until he had more time.

"Is there any wood in the fire?" Daryl asked washing some of the blood from his knife and hands.

"I think so. If not we can take wood from upstairs." This house was rather extravagant in Daryl's opinion. It had three fireplaces spread around the house, one in the living room, one in the master bedroom, and finally one in the kitchen. Daryl didn't understand why a house would need so many fireplaces but he was relieved he didn't have to go outside and cook up the deer in the snow. "Want me to start the fire?" Rick asked.

"Yah." Daryl mumbled absentmindedly. "We'll cook the ribs and back first. Then heart, liver, and lungs. Finally the legs and shoulders and whatever is left." Rick nodded as he picked the wood up. He started the fire quickly as Daryl set the meat in the left over pots and trays. When the fire was roaring Daryl set each close to the flames where they could cook properly. It wasn't as easy as cooking on a stove or in an oven but Daryl had cooked meat over a campfire plenty of times so it wasn't anything new for him.

"Now what?"

"We wait. Gotta cook all the way through. Otherwise ever'one will get sick."

"It smells good." Rick said a few minutes later. Daryl nodded.

"Been a while since I've had venison." Daryl checked the meat every few minutes, replacing the wood when it was necessary and when a piece was done he replaced it with another cut piece. After every piece was cooked he breathed a deep sigh of relief. He allowed his body to relax. The tension bled out of his limbs.

"Is it done?" Rick asked looking over Daryl's shoulder as he cut the center looking for any pink signaling that the meat wasn't done. The outside was crispy and crunchy. When he cut into a piece the smell of cooked meat nearly drove the men crazy.

"Too bad we can' just dig in right now huh?" Daryl joked as he checked the other pieces. Rick chuckled.

"Yeah, might cause a revolt if we did." Daryl nodded.

"Looks like it's all cooked." He declared finally.

"Let's put them on some big plates than you can cut it up in front of everyone." Rick said excitedly.

"God what do ya think this is? Thanksgivin'?" Rick laughed.

"It feels like it!" Rick defended himself. The pair set the pieces on two huge serving plates.

"Why don' ya take it to them." Daryl mumbled wiping his hands and knives completely clean of blood. "I'll clean up and join ya later." Rick's eyes narrowed.

"Oh no you don't. You aren't going to hide away while we eat."

"I'm not hidin'."

"Okay then you can't get away from our praise. You worked hard to get this for us and deserve to eat with us so we can thank you personally. You got the food you get the gratitude, that's the rule." Daryl glared at Rick. He _did _want to hide away until everyone stopped giving him looks of gratitude and words of praise. It made his stomach twist and coil in on itself. He just wasn't used to it. Daryl doubted he would ever get used to the feeling.

"Next time I let ya'll starve." Daryl grumbled under his breath. Rick laughed and clasp his shoulder gently.

"Come on Daryl. It's a learning experience for you." Rick grinned widely at him. Daryl blew out a breathe. Rick's hand wasn't on him long enough to make any childhood trauma surface but his shoulders did feel warmer than it had a moment before. "Come on." Rick said again as he picked up one of the large plates. Daryl sighed and picked up the other plate and followed behind Rick. He tried hard to shrink into the other man's shadow. Not that anyone let him get away with that. He was dragged to the center of the room where everyone could shower him with praises (much to his dismay.) The group all waited until everyone had a big slab of meat in front of them before biting into the rich meat. The joy and moans of delight filled the room and Daryl realized taking his own bite that their responses made the whole thing taste all the better.

* * *

Man! That was a long chapter! I'm sorry about that. I try to keep each chapter around 3,000 or so words but that one was way over. Sorry. I couldn't find a good place to split it apart. Also I'm never gone hunting or skinned any animals in my life so I did a bunch of research to try and get it right. Hopefully I did. If I didn't I'm sorry! I will say that it was fun to be researching this! In one class there was a girl looking over my shoulder to see what I was doing on my computer. Probably scared her pretty badly. But she probably shouldn't be so nosy. *shrugs*

Anyway I've gotten a few questions asking about the nature of this story. Mostly is this going to be a pairing story with RickxDaryl ect. That answer is YES! Absolutely. I'm a huge fan of pairing especially slash or yaoi (whichever you prefer.) I'll probably put up a warning before it gets heavy into that because I know not everyone enjoys that sort of story. Secondly I've also gotten a few questions if this is going to have smut ect in it. Answer is also yes. But I'm going to come out and admit I'm a sucker for the slow buildup. I mean purely physical relations are fine and all but I love that slow build that draws you in and then gets to the physical stuff. Call me a romantic or just an overzealous writer. When it does get to the smut/physical stuff it will probably jump in ratings just for warnings sake. (Also a little worried about the smut if I'm honest since it's been a long time since I've written anything like that. But I'll cross that bridge later!)

Wow! Long authors note too. I'm super sorry about this guys! Review if you have time/liked this. Otherwise hopefully I'll see you all in chapter 5 (if the long chapter hasn't frightened too many way.)


	5. Chapter 5

The feast left everyone happy and content. For a moment everyone seemed to forget the troubles outside the room. But before too long Rick's eyes got that faraway look in them. Daryl recognized that look and realized what was coming. A part of him wanted to let everyone enjoy the moment at least for the night but the other part of him realized that this had to be done. Reality wouldn't wait until they were ready for it.

Rick cleared his throat as he stood up.

"Listen there's something we need to discuss before it becomes too late to talk about it." Rick started slowly trying to lead them all into it slowly. The room grew hushed and scared. "We know that we're all infected." Rick said softly. The group was still raw about that and Rick knew it too. "But we need to decide what to do if something like what happened to Jim happens again." Rick licked his lips. "We need to decide what to do if one of us is bitten or is going to turn." The silence that followed was deadly. They each responded differently to their leader's words. Glenn and Maggie gripped each other tightly. Carol stared hard at Daryl trying to decide how he felt about the issue. Everyone didn't seem to know how to react. It was T-Dog that spoke first.

"I don't want to turn into one of those things." He said followed by the group nodded. It was until that point something that they'd never agreed upon verbally. Even Carl was nodding Daryl noticed. The idea of dying didn't bother Daryl. He had spent most of his life next to death. Almost like death was a neighbor, constantly looking through the shades at him and the whole Dixon family. But the idea of coming back? Killing the group? _That_ bothered him. The worry that the group would just leave him behind on the side of the road like they did Jim also unnerved him. He'd rather be put down than slowly lose his mind like Jim had.

"Then we need to come to a decision. Together." Rick said turning to lock eyes with each member of the group. He paused on Daryl and stared at him hard. Daryl gave a quick nod showing his support in his own way.

"What do you think we should do?" Lori asked watching her husband closely. Daryl repressed the urge to roll his eyes.

As her relationship with her husband and son had grown strained over the months, she had tried to pacify Rick by agreeing or leaving every choice surrounding group safety up to him. It always made Daryl want to gag in annoyance. Sure, he could appreciate the times when it's just best to agree and go along with the flow. But that wasn't what Rick needed. He needed his wife to give opinions that he might not consider or think of on his own. Daryl's mother had once told him it was her role as a wife and mother to be the conscience that they usually avoided listening to. Why Lori never tried anything like that was beyond him. It always seemed like she would let Rick do whatever he thought was best then turn around and berate him for those same choices.

Like at the quarry when she volunteered Rick to go back to Atlanta (though the man seemed determined to go before Lori said anything) yet admonished him for making the plans to leave. Maybe Lori thought she could gain her way back into Rick's graces by following him without question. But she was the only one who could talk to Rick and help him see flaws in his plans. By doing nothing, she put the group at risk. At least that's how Daryl saw it. He wouldn't find himself arguing with Rick often (there never seemed to be a point to it. Rick was a much better leader than some hick from the woods would ever be.) the only times he would was if it revolved around something that Daryl considered his (very small) area of expertise, like hunting.

Lori wanted to repair her relationship with her family. That much was obvious but Daryl couldn't shake the feeling that everything she was doing was wrong. That all her good intentions were hurting more than helping.

Daryl dragged his eyes away from Lori who was rubbing her stomach absentmindedly. Her eyes had that hollow look they'd had for the last few weeks. The whole group had a similar look that screamed prey to the hunter. The look that said they were just waiting to be preyed upon it was the same look rabbits got when a fox corners them. It seemed more predominant in Lori than it did in the others however, perhaps her pregnancy left her feeling more vulnerable? That was the only reasoning that Daryl could come up with.

Rick's eyes had darkened at Lori's words. Before he could say anything Hershel spoke.

"It isn't just about becoming one of them. What if one of us turns and attacks the people we care about?" The group grew even quieter if possible. Becoming a walker was a terrifying reality alone. But hurting the people you loved was worse somehow. Everyone clung harder to each other at the thought.

"That's right. There's a lot to consider about this. We have to decide together." Rick reasoned. His eyes slowly fading back to their calmer blue. "I once said we don't kill the living…" Rick trailed off. Daryl remembered that one well. It was Rick's second time pointing his gun at his head. But surely Rick realized things had changed? They couldn't just say it was the same anymore. Once dead those 'dead' didn't stay that way for long. Not that Daryl didn't appreciate guns pointed to his head but it would be nice to avoid it in the future should something like what happened with Jim happened again. The officer was as good with a gun as Daryl himself is with his crossbow.

"But if they're bitten it's only a matter of time right?" Maggie asked. Hershel's eyes grew tight. While the Greene family realized now that the walkers were dead and there was no bringing them back it still seemed to be a painful realization at times for Hershel. His desire to protect his family and the group was stronger than any painful memories. However, the day would probably come when he didn't even blink when killing walkers. It was the reality they lived in now and you either get used to it or you break down. Hershel felt too strong for the latter at least to Daryl anyway. After reality painfully reminded Hershel of its violent nature the man had been solid.

"It seems that way." Rick agreed.

"Then maybe the kindest thing we can do would be to…" Carol started but her eyes grew large and watery at the prospect of continuing. Daryl licked his lips and continued where she left off.

"Put them out of their misery before they turn." Like he had with Dale. Carol looked at Daryl appreciatively when he had finished for her. No one wanted to be the one to say it. It was obvious from the way they all gaped at him. But sometimes things had to be said even if that meant saying it himself.

"Daryl's right." Glenn murmured softly. Maggie squeezed his hand tightly in response. "I would rather be put down than risk hurting anyone." There were nods around the room. Rick bit his lip but his eyes were troubled.

"Then we all agree?" He looked around the room at each of them. Everyone nodded to Rick's question.

"If someone doesn't agree now is the time to say something." Rick added. No one spoke up, everyone seemed resigned to this idea. It wasn't a pleasant one but a necessary one. To Daryl at least it was somewhat of a comforting idea but that wasn't a sentiment that the group needed to know right now, he realized.

"It's a pact between us then?" T-Dog asked.

"It's a pact then." Rick agreed with the group's assent. "If one of us gets bitten we don't let that person turn into a walker. We'll put them down before they turn." The silence that fell was heavy and oppressive. It was Carl who ended up breaking it.

"Is there any more food?" He asked looking shyly up at Daryl. He felt the hopeful eyes of everyone on him. He thought about telling them no so that they could have more in reserve, but the group needed this. They needed something to keep their spirits strong after such a difficult pact. He would work out how to stretch whatever was left into a few more days. He would make it work.

"Yah there is." He cleared his throat and unfolded his long legs. "I'll get it." He told Rick who was about to follow him out.

"You sure?"

"'Course." Daryl grunted. He shut the door behind him and quickly walked down he stairs. When he hit the bottom, black spots danced in front of his eyes. Daryl gripped the side of his head tightly. He shook his head sharply and staggered to the kitchen. "Not now." He grumbled under his breath, he didn't have time for this now.

Daryl piled the meat onto the plate and moved back to the stairs. The black spots continued to shift in front of his eyes but through sheer force of will he managed to make it up the stairs and bump his elbow against the door. Carol opened it and smiled softly at him.

"Thank you." She said gently taking the plate from his hands and leading him into the room. Daryl nodded slightly before turning away quickly and moving back to his corner. The spots continued to plague him but got slightly better when he sat down. He didn't dare close his eyes for fear of passing out entirely. It was only when the roaring in his ears grew painfully loud that Daryl wondered if just closing his eyes for a moment wouldn't be too bad of an idea.

It was in that moment when Daryl was thinking of putting his head against the wall and resting his eyes that Rick mentioned needing someone on watch now that it was getting dark. Daryl dragged his head up to see that everyone was looking around the room hoping for a volunteer so they could enjoy their meal and the good feelings it brought just for a little longer. Daryl wanted to sigh and just say find someone else but he couldn't bring himself to do it. The group was stretched to the emotional and mental limit. He still was far from his breaking point (one of the few benefits of his childhood) and he figured he could go a few more hours without real rest until someone took over the watch for him.

"I'll do it." Daryl mumbled. The words felt slightly slurred around his tongue. But nothing his accent didn't cover up he figured. The breathe of relief that filled the room at his words was almost physical. While he was on watch they could eat and talk and try to find their own reasons to keep pushing forward.

Daryl had volunteered for the night watch but getting up was another matter entirely. His body screamed in distress when he tried to stand. His muscles were beyond fatigued. It was only after he'd actually had food in him that the exhaustion hit so strongly. Though he'd be damned if a little lack of sleep took him down. Gritting his teeth he stood and ignored the slight wobble of his knees. Sleep could come later, Daryl thought to his weary body. It complied to his wishes but still struggled to keep going. By the time he was outside the door the spots were back with a vengeance. His hearing was going out in waves and it felt like a fever was rushing to meet his skin with every step he took.

Daryl shook his head again trying to will the spots and dizziness away but that only made the hallway swirl faster. Like his consciousness was being sucked down a drain Daryl suddenly couldn't feel his fingers like he was separate from his body. He tried to steady his shaking body against the wall but his eyes rolled up into his head and he slide down the wall slamming into the floor below.

Daryl returned to a semi alert state minutes later. He couldn't see well. Everything felt dark and far away. His hearing kept fading to mumbles. Daryl felt hands prodding here and there along his neck and face checking his temperature and his pulse. He tried to pull away but his body felt like hot mud cemented to the ground.

"Exhaustion." Hershel muttered somewhere on his right. "He's going to need some decent sleep. No watch duty for a while." Hershel touched under Daryl's neck feeling his pulse. "Slight fever too. Strange, most people's body temperature would be lower from spending too much time in the cold. Mild hypothermia would have occurred with anyone else."

"Are you sure it's just exhaustion?" Rick asked from Daryl's left.

"I don't see any bites or scratches. If that's what you're asking."

"It's not. If something like that happened Daryl would have told us." Rick said forcefully.

"But not about the obvious exhaustion he's suffering from?" Hershel's voice sounded exasperated.

"He probably didn't want to. Either he didn't think it was a big deal or that we had enough to worry about without any extra problems added on." Rick grumbled under his breathe. It was then that Daryl realized that Rick was holding him up where Hershel could look him over. Conscience thought returned in a flash and Daryl struggled to get out of the officers arms.

"'M fine." He slurred trying to push himself up. His cheeks felt hot as Rick's arms tightened around his chest trying to keep him still.

"Stay still." Hershel instructed harshly and pushed him back down. Daryl glared daggers at the two men. The normal harshness of his glare was lessened by the fact that the room started spinning when he opened his eyes. "We'll need to move him to a bed." Rick nodded above him.

"Put someone else on watch too." Rick said as he hooked his arms under Daryl's armpits and started to haul him up. Daryl weakly struggled to push the man off but before he could get anywhere Rick had him on his feet and had thrown Daryl's left arm around Rick's neck. While Rick placed his arm around Daryl's hip. He could feel his face brighten at the closeness of their bodies. The last time this had happened he'd fallen unconscious almost immediately due to the gunshot he took to the head from Andrea. He almost preferred that to being alert enough to feel Rick's body heat sink into his side but still be too weak to walk on his own. Rick's hands were so hot they almost felt like they were scorching his hip and wrist with their touch. It made the fever race through his body even faster.

Rick started to pull Daryl's body along the hallway but Daryl kept trying to push his arm off of him.

"Get off." He grumbled trying elbow Rick to get him to let go. The closeness was starting to overwhelm him. The black spots continued to dance as he moved however. Daryl wanted Rick to let go of him but doubted he could make it more than two feet without falling down.

"Stop struggling." Rick whispered in Daryl's ear. His breath puffed against his neck. Daryl couldn't stop the shiver that went through him. Too close too close too close. His mind whimpered desperately as he tried to break free. Rick's hold on Daryl's hip kept hitting one of the many massive networks of scars that littered the hunter's body. Each touch caused a flash of pain as the side became alight with oversensitivity. Daryl tried to shift out of Rick's hands. The feeling of fingers rubbing around his scars caused flashbacks of his childhood. Of his father rubbing the barely healing wounds raw when he was displeased with his son.

"Don'." Daryl gasped as his breathing became labored.

"Daryl hold on we're almost at the bed." Rick said softly, obviously misunderstanding his panic. Rick's breath hit against a small mass of scars hidden under Daryl's hair near his ear, caused by a bottle smashing against Daryl's head when he was ten. Daryl trembled trying to escape but his body was too weak to make any true bids for freedom. "Here, I'm going to set you down okay?" Rick gently started to lower Daryl onto the bed below them. The moment Rick let go Daryl shoved himself against the wall waiting for his panting to return to normal breathing. The spots continued to shift in his eyes and he felt a distinct sense of wrongness as his stomach shifted. Daryl quickly slammed his eyes shut and waited for the feeling to pass.

Slowly his heart rate fell and his stomach stopped churning like a boat at sea. When he felt strong enough (and safe enough) he gently rolled onto his back to take the pressure off of his right hip which still ached with being touched too much.

A soft knock and Hershel opened the door to glance at Daryl on the bed before turning to Rick.

"I've told T-Dog and Carol to take watch tonight. Is that alright?" Hershel told Rick.

"Yeah that's perfect. If they want to shift out come and get me okay?" Rick said keeping his eyes on Daryl.

"I'll check him over in a few hours but right now all he really needs is rest." Hershel addressed Rick but kept his eyes on Daryl. Daryl rolled his eyes and turned away he didn't need or want everyone fussing over him. He wanted to tell them to go away and leave him alone but couldn't figure out how to make his mouth work just yet. Hershel nodded once at Rick and shut the door behind him.

"Daryl?" Rick asked moving closer to the bed.

"What?" He growled.

"Why didn't…" The officer trailed off. "Do you need anything?"

"New crossbow arrows, more gas for the bike, and a cheeseburger with a beer." Daryl smirked at Rick. "Ever'one needs somethin' doesn' mean ever'one gets it."

"Funny. I was being serious."

"I'm fine. Little tired is all." Daryl shrugged.

"Then I should let you get some sleep." Rick said starting to move away and towards the door.

Daryl didn't know what impulse caused him to grab the hem of Rick's shirt.

"Stay?" He whispered softly. "Just for a minute?" Daryl felt weak and whiny for asking Rick to do something like that, Merle would smack him upside his head for acting like a little bitch. But the other man smiled and pulled a chair closer without question. The silence that followed made Daryl shift uncomfortably. He licked his lips before turning to the man. "How have ya never been huntin' before?" He questioned. Rick seemed almost surprised that Daryl was still awake. Daryl didn't have the heart to tell him that he had a hard time sleeping around others. His sensitive hearing made things almost painfully loud for him.

In truth, Daryl didn't want to sleep. Not while his mind was still replaying the pact over and over. Not while he could still feel tingling in his scars. Not while he could feel childhood fears and traumas whispering at the back of his mind. He could practically hear his father's voice against his ear. His teeth ripping into his spine as he mocked Daryl. The last thing Daryl wanted to dream about was walkers killing the group or his father breaking the door down to destroy everything he'd worked to protect.

"Would you believe that I've only been fishing twice my life?" Rick interrupted Daryl's thoughts. The man smiled softly when Daryl gave him an incredulous look. "I hated fishing as a kid. I never had the patience for it. My dad would be throwing fish back for hours and I could never catch a single fish. I did catch the back of my shirt once trying to act all cool in front of my dad's friends and their daughters." Daryl snorted at that image.

"Was it as bad as in the movies?"

"Worse." Rick grinned back. "I actually managed to tug so hard I fell into the river and lost my shirt and shoes all in the same blow. I think I spent the rest of that trip hiding in the car. For some reason falling and nearly drowning in a river doesn't impress the ladies much."

"I think I would have been impressed." Daryl half smirked at Rick.

"Oh yeah? Which part?" Rick quirked his eyebrow.

"The part where ya actually caught somethin' even if it was just yer shirt. Takes skill to catch somethin' so elusive."

"Ha ha. You're so clever." Rick rolled his eyes at Daryl. "I thought Hershel told you to rest." Daryl shrugged.

"Tell me more. Did ya ever go huntin' other than fish?" Rick didn't comment on Daryl's avoidance of sleep. For that, the hunter was grateful. He didn't want to explain how nightmares often clogged his brain when he was tired.

"A couple of times." Rick shrugged. "It wasn't nearly as bad as fishing. Mostly some guys from the police force getting drunk and shooting guns at trees. Too much noise to really get any true hunting in. I did on occasion catch some actual game like deer but that didn't happen often. I guess I never really had time for that kind of thing. Too busy with work or my family." Rick licked his lips. "Daryl? Can I ask you something?"

Daryl didn't want to answer questions right now. Anxiety was seated too deep in his mind for him to be thinking completely rationally. But he nodded anyway, he couldn't ask Rick to stay and then force the man to be quiet. That was too weird in Daryl's mind, like some creepy stalker watching you sleep.

"Why didn't you tell us or at least me that you weren't feeling good?" Daryl shrugged. "I mean what if you were bit. You'd tell us right?"

"'Course I would!" Daryl glared at Rick. "Like hell I'd even come back here if I got bit! I wouldn' put ya'll in danger like that. Ain' right and it ain' fair to ya'll if I came back after being bit." Daryl was furious that Rick would even suggest otherwise.

"I know… I know. I'm sorry. I just… The looks that Lori was giving I had to ask." Rick shook his head. "I shouldn't have asked. I know you wouldn't put us in danger like that. It's not who you are." Daryl sighed.

"I guess ya had to ask. If I were in yer shoes I'd ask too."

"I'm sorry." Rick said again.

"It's fine." Daryl glanced up at Rick, his eyes were tight with gloom and guilt. "Least ya didn' shoot me first." He smirked at Rick. Rick chuckled.

"That's true. Not sure how many shots to the head a man can survive."

"Let's not test it to find out yah?" Daryl quirked an eyebrow.

"No let's keep you away from bullets." Rick agreed. "Daryl." Rick said drawing the hunter's attention back to his eyes. They were sharp and commanding. "Next time I want you to tell me if you're feeling sick or tired. We can't have you passing out on us when we need you. I need you at your best and that means you can't hide stuff like this from me." Daryl grunted and gave a shift of a shoulder. "Daryl?"

"Fine." He grumbled.

"Daryl."

"I said fine!"

"I want your word." Rick said locking eyes with him. Before Daryl started to say that meant nothing, Rick continued. "I want your oath."

"Shouldn' have told ya 'bout that." He muttered.

"Please?" Rick's blue eyes were pleading, begging in that way that seemed patent to him. Daryl sighed.

"Fine…"

"Fine?"

"I give ya my Dixon oath that I'll tell ya when somethin' is wrong."

"With you. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. The whole damn package." Rick added staring at him hard.

"Yah yah. Whatever. Yer not my mom ya know."

"Someone needs to keep an eye on you if you're intending to work yourself to death."

"Fine. Ya got my oath. Ain' that good enough for ya?"

"Yeah." Rick sighed, and his eyes seemed considerably less troubled than they had a few minutes before. "Why don't you get some rest? I'll have Hershel check on you in a few hours; otherwise you're off the clock for the rest of the night."

"I should go and salt the meat. That way it'll keep." Daryl said starting to sit up. Rick put his hand on his shoulder gently.

"Daryl, I'll handle that." Daryl stared at him. "Okay I'll ask Hershel to do that. He lived on a farm he knows what he's doing. I need you to rest. We'll handle things until you're rested okay? We need you better. The group's not the same without you." Daryl swallowed. He didn't know how to respond to that idea, did they need him because he kept them fed or because he kept them safe? Daryl desperately wanted to believe they needed him but his father's fingers at the back of his neck touching his scars made him remember his place.

"Lower than dog shit." His father hissed at his spine.

"Sleep well Daryl. Holler if you need us." Rick said shutting the door behind him. Leaving Daryl alone with his father's words and the scars that kept burning with memories. Sleep seemed miles away but the moment Daryl put his hands over his ears and listened to the sound of his blood rushing through his body he was asleep.

By the time, Hershel checked in on Daryl hours later, and found his fever had gone down. The childhood terrors and malicious voices retreated for the night. Daryl was able to sleep without dreams or thoughts of death for the first time in a long time.

* * *

I'm super sorry this took so long to get out. It's been a really busy week for me. Hopefully it won't happen again. Wanted to say thank you to everyone who's taken the time to review really makes me so happy! I can't thank you enough! I'm glad there are other people out there like me who enjoy both the slow build and this pairing! I always worry that people don't like this kind of story (or my writing style) so the reviews make me feel a lot better about my story/writing skill. So again thanks and along with that if you feel like reviewing again I'd love that too! See you all in chapter 6!


	6. Chapter 6

Daryl woke up to the feeling of sunshine on his face and an ache in his body. It took a minute or two before the previous night returned to him. He'd passed out like a little bitch. Then whined at Rick to stay in the room with him.

"Pathetic." Daryl spat out hatefully. Merle would have beaten him black and blue if he saw how soft he had been acting.

"What is?" Carol asked glimpsing her head into the room.

"Nothin'." Daryl mumbled. Carol smiled gently and pushed the door open fully.

"I brought you some food. Thought you might be hungry." Daryl shrugged.

"Did ever'one eat already?" He deflected.

"Yes. You slept in so you missed breakfast and lunch."

"Hm."

"Must have been tired huh?" Daryl grunted. "You know it's okay to take a break every now and then right?"

"Ain' got time for that." Daryl grumbled.

"Yeah tireless warrior Daryl."

"Hunter." He corrected.

"That's right." Carol smiled and put the food on the side table before pulling a chair up to the bed.

"Gonna watch me eat?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"More like make sure you actually eat and don't try to break out of here."

"What am I under house arrest?"

"No. But Hershel arrest yes. He reminded Rick and I what you were like back on the farm."

"Don' know what yer talkin' 'bout."

"You tried to escape that night. You refused to sit still for longer than an hour. Eventually Hershel had to agree to let you rest in your tent otherwise I think you would have driven him crazy. Do you remember any of that?"

"It was borin'." Daryl shrugged.

"Exactly. So instead of risking you jumping out the window I thought I'd watch over you for a while." Carol smiled gently at him.

"Ain' a kid."

"Never said you were."

"Yer just tryin' to get out of work or somethin'." Daryl glared at her.

"No, we've already done everything that needs to be done today." Carol sighed. "Rick and Lori are arguing."

"Again?" Daryl asked taking a bite of the canned corn in his bowl. It had been mixed with some of the deer meat then boiled to make a pretty good stew.

"Yeah she was really upset last night."

"'Bout what?" He mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"You actually." Daryl raised an eyebrow. "Fainting to be specific. She went off. She was convinced you were bit. Really stirred people up. Rick got angry that she would even suggest that. Basically told her he didn't want anything to do with her for the rest of the night. But now they're busy arguing again."

"Sound like paranoia is settin' in. That happen often with pregnancy?" Carol shrugged.

"Each woman is different but things aren't ideal for having a baby as it is. A little paranoia is probably natural for her." Daryl nodded. "I'm worried…" Carol whispered looking right at him. "Can we really raise a baby in this world with the way that it is now? I mean it was hard enough before all this…but now?"

"Hm. Not like we can do anythin' 'bout it now."

"I know. I just…" Carol blew out a breath.

"Just think it would be easier to not have to worry 'bout it?" Carol nodded.

"It sounds so horrible. I feel horrible for thinking it."

"Ya shouldn'. I'm sure we've all thought the same thing, even Lori. But we can' give up cause it's difficult ya know? The kid is going to have a hard enough time in this world. So we'll have to help anyway we can yah?" Carol nodded.

"Yeah I know. I do really. I just… get so worried and scared sometimes."

"S'ok ever'one does. Just have to conquer that fear. Don' let it control you." Daryl watched Carol closely. She nodded at his words but she still seemed upset.

"Lori told Hershel she had Carl by C-section. I'm worried she'll need to do the same with this baby."

"My ma had Merle through C-sec. But she didn' have me that way."

"How come?"

"Born small." Daryl shrugged. "Merle said the doc didn' think I'd make it."

"But you did." Daryl shrugged again.

"Dixon blood. Hard to kill."

"It must be." Carol smiled. "You know how Hershel's been teaching me some medical techniques and stuff?" Daryl nodded. Hershel had been showing Carol and Maggie some basic medical first aid for the last few weeks. Half of the group at one point or another sat in on the lessons. Daryl often found himself working on making new bolts while Hershel held his lessons. Couldn't hurt to know some things he figured. The group seemed to share his sentiment for the originally small classes usually ended up pretty large by the time they finished. "I've been thinking of having him teach me how to perform a C-section as well." Carol shifted nervously. "Right now Hershel's the only one who knows how and…" She trailed off.

"Be dumb to not know." Daryl said helping her along. He didn't want anyone else to die but the reality of it was there was no guarantee that any of them would be around tomorrow. "I mean that way Hershel will have help if he needs it right?" Daryl said taking pity on Carol. The idea of Hershel dying clearly bothered her. The idea of delivering the baby alone troubled her even more.

"Yeah." She agreed nodding vigorously. "You're right. It would be better with two people to help Lori through the pregnancy."

"The whole more the marrier thing?"

"Something like that." Carol said standing up. She looked determined now that she had a game plan in her head, Daryl noticed.

"Just so ya know I ain' deliverin' no baby." Daryl called to Carol as she reached the door.

"Aw really? I was hoping you'd be my nurse." Daryl snorted.

"Only if I get to wear the little hat."

"Well if I find one I'll make sure you're made my one and only nurse." Carol joked back. "Get some rest Daryl. But finish your food too!"

"Yah yah." He waved her off, the door closed quietly behind her. There was still half a bowl of stew left. Instead, Daryl went straight for the glass of water and chugged it down. The burning in his throat lessened considerably. Too much talking, he thought. He just wasn't used to it.

Daryl closed his eyes and drifted in between the sleeping state and the waking state for a while. Things were quiet in the house meaning Glenn and Maggie had probably left on a run or they sneaked out to the shed for some alone time. The two of them were attached to each other at the hips. Always making doe eyes at each other. If Daryl had a deer for every time he'd either heard them getting it on or interrupted them (not his choice mind you) he'd have enough deer to feed the group for five years (at the very least.)

He didn't hear Lori's high pitched voice that she used when she was angry. Daryl also didn't hear Rick's emotionally locked down voice either. Whenever the two of them fought, Lori got louder but Rick seemed to become detached. He got quieter and calmer. The man had a far better control on his tempter than Daryl himself did. But for some reason it always seemed to make Lori angrier. Almost like she wanted Rick to blow up at her.

The house wasn't completely quiet. It sounded like Carl and Beth were talking softly to each other downstairs. While Carol was reporting to Hershel on his health and talking to him about her, plan to learn how to perform a C-section herself. Meaning T-Dog was probably on watch. With most, everyone accounted for Daryl strained his ears for Rick. He couldn't hear the man's distinctive footsteps around the house. Nor could he hear his soft-spoken voice. Was he outside then? Or did he go on a supply run with Glenn and Maggie? Daryl was about to get up to investigate himself when another knock on his door interrupted him.

"Yah?" He called. The door opened and Lori glanced in. She looked all around the room before settling on Daryl still in the bed. She was not the person he expected to see that was for sure. Daryl sat up fully leaning against the headboard. With Carol he had felt comfortable enough to slouch and lean back into a comfortable position that didn't strain the worn out muscles in his back. But with Lori he was never certain how she really felt about him. At times, she seemed to share Shane's sentiment that he was only good for doing the dirty work. Other times she seemed to be okay with his presence but to changed from moment to moment. Daryl didn't honestly care one way or another. But he did prefer to be around people that let him know where he stood in comparison to them. It was a way to keep himself safe, Merle had taught him that when they were still young.

"Don' let yerself be backed into a corner." Merle's voice whispered.

"May I?" Lori asked motioning to the chair that Carol had been in minutes before. Daryl nodded. She glanced around the room nervously before settling her eyes on Daryl. "I thought Rick might be here…" She started.

"Ain' seen him since last night." Daryl replied. Lori looked tired, he noticed. There were bags under her eyes and she seemed smaller than usual. "Ya okay?" Daryl asked watching her closely.

"Yeah. Well no…" Lori bit her lip. "I wanted to thank you again for getting the food. I know it must have been hard." Daryl shrugged. "And I wanted to apologize. When you fainted, I assumed the worse. I thought… feared that well…" Lori trailed off again.

"If I'd been bit I wouldn' come back here ya know." Daryl couldn't believe he had to explain this yet again. It just seemed so obvious to him but apparently everyone else assumed he'd rush back to put them all in danger.

"I'm sorry… I freaked out. I mean… we've been through so much."

"I don' blame ya. It's only natural to be worried." Daryl told her. Lori half smiled but she still seemed troubled.

"Rick was furious. He didn't even want to hear me explain how I felt."

"I was mostly blacked out in the hall so I didn' hear." Daryl mumbled. It felt weird to remind someone that he wasn't all there last night thus wasn't aware of what happened during the night.

"No this was after. He put you in here then he wouldn't even talk to me. I tried to explain my fears this morning and he got even angrier." Daryl glanced at the window behind Lori. Would it be rude to jump out he wondered. He just wasn't any good at this kind of stuff. The problems and drama that the group seemed to feed off of were of little concern to him. He preferred to focus on the bigger picture such as safety and the need for food. Why Lori felt he was the best person to talk to was beyond him. Or maybe he was just a convenient audience for her. Lori sighed and looked Daryl hard in the eyes. "It was nothing personal you know? I was just scared." Daryl nodded.

"Sure. I got ya. Don' need to be apologizin' to me." Lori shook her head.

"No I needed to tell you and apologize to you. Because you do so much for us. I didn't want you to feel like I was ungrateful." Daryl nodded again.

"Sure we're good, no worries." He said. Lori smiled gently.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. Really I am. Call if you need something okay?" She said taking the tray from his side table. Daryl watched as Lori deftly opened the door without letting the tray shift in the slightest. Even pregnancy hadn't dulled the woman's nimble movements he realized.

After the door shut Daryl slide back down to rest completely on the bed. His body ached more after forcing it to sit up like he had. He let his eyes slide close. Just for a moment he told himself.

When Daryl opened his eyes again it was morning, he could hear the Brown Thrasher outside his window singing. He'd slept through the night without realizing it.

"Damn." He muttered. There was some energy bars and another glass of water by his bed. He ate them quickly before sitting up on the bed. He took one step and his legs wobbled. Daryl ignored it. His body might still be tired but he could feel his mind itching to do something. He was restless. It was spreading throughout his body like a fire. The idea of spending another day sleeping and resting sounded awful to him. He wanted to be doing something productive. Being idle didn't suit Daryl at all.

He opened the door and nearly ran into Beth. She smiled pleasantly up at him.

"You look like you're feeling better."

"Yeah." He mumbled.

"Do you need something?"

"Nah just thought I'd get back to work."

"My dad said to get him once you were back on your feet. I'll go find him. Could you wait in your room for him?" Beth smiled cheerfully and went on her way. Daryl had half the urge to sneak out through the back of the house but he'd seen Hershel's anger when he'd tried to escape back at the farm. The man didn't like his 'patients' to have the freedom to decide when they were fit to get back to work. Apparently Daryl overestimated himself according to Hershel. Glumly Daryl sat down on the bed. A moment later Hershel opened the door.

"I'm a little surprised. I was convinced that I would have to hunt you down like last time."

"Learned my lesson last time." Daryl grumbled.

"Good." Hershel said reaching forward to check Daryl's pulse. He flinched slightly at the contact. "Pulse is a little high. You still have dark shadows under the eyes. Speaking of they're really red. How much sleep would you say you've gotten?"

"Enough." Daryl grumbled annoyed at Hershel's prodding.

"You passed out and slept part of yesterday too."

"Yeah so I can get out of here right?"

"No I'd actually like you to rest today too. By dinner tonight you can get out of here. Though it would probably be better for you to rest until tomorrow."

"Are ya serious?! That's borin'. Come on I'm better! Let me out of here!" Hershel stared hard at Daryl.

"You need rest. You won't help anyone if you pass out again."

"We don' have the time or luxury for me to take it easy."

"Daryl things are going okay, you can take some time to rest. We all want you to get the rest you need. We're all worried about you."

"If ya'll were ya'd let me out of here." He grumbled.

"So you can run off hunting and run yourself ragged? I think I'll wait and make sure you're feeling better. We're not being mean." Hershel said when Daryl glared at him. "I'm making sure you won't faint again. It really is for your benefit. What if you fainted while hunting? Or while there were walkers around? That would be bad for all of us."

"This sucks." Daryl grumbled.

"Well maybe you'll remember to take a break next time?" Daryl rolled his eyes at Hershel's words. "Some lessons have to be taught the hard way I guess." Daryl groaned.

"Fine I'll rest if ya stop lecturin' me. Ain' yer kid."

"No but you are my patient." Hershel patted Daryl's shoulder. "Rest up. Then tomorrow you can do whatever you want." Daryl glared at Hershel's retreating form as he left the room. The hunter ran his fingers down the sheets on the bed. They were too light to support his weight so he couldn't make a rope out of them and go through the window. Daryl rose to his feet and hobbled over to the window. The nearest tree was too far for him to jump to and the roof too high to climb. He could try jumping down but the chance of spraining his ankle or worse breaking a leg was a risk he didn't want to run. Mostly because that would mean being Hershel's 'patient' for an even longer time and that meant being locked up in this awful room and going even more stir crazy (if that was possible.) But he especially didn't want to put the group in danger by taking a stupid chance by jumping because he was bored and tired of being locked up in the house. Daryl's eyes slid to the door, the door there wasn't a lock on it from the outside so he could just walk out. Go hunting and be back before anyone even realized he was missing.

Daryl was about to sneak out when the door opened. Beth smiled at him.

"My dad told me to give you this. He said if you can't sleep anymore maybe you should try reading something. Carl said he'd bring some wood so you can make some more arrows. Hopefully that will keep you busy for a while?" Beth handed him a book and continued to smile her sweet and cheerful smile. Daryl couldn't help but feel like Hershel sent her in on purpose knowing he'd unable to get mad at her. Never mind pushing her aside so he could escape. Daryl felt like a trapped animal.

"Um… Thanks." Daryl murmured.

"Do you need anything else? Food? Water?"

"Nah... just the wood."

"I'll go help Carl bring it upstairs then." Beth excused herself and smiled again before she shut the door. Daryl turned the book over. It was a medical textbook, first aid and different medical treatments.

"Great." Daryl sighed under his breath. He tossed the book onto the bed without a second thought. Beth and Carl opened the door later with sturdy branches in their arms.

"Hopefully these will work." Carl said setting them down.

"Yah that'll work fine." Carl looked like he wanted to stay and talk but Beth tugged on his arm.

"Come on. Let him rest." She whispered. The pair waved and told him to call them if he needed anything.

"Bunch of busybodies." Daryl blew out a deep breath and started working on the branches. He had a good two dozen done by the time his mind started to wander. Daryl then turned his attention to the book Hershel had given him. There was a book mark in the book on the chapter about exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and sun stroke. Daryl rolled his eyes and purposely picked a chapter that had nothing to do with those subjects. He picked burns and obsessed over the awful pictures and vicious boils. The images helped keep Daryl occupied and engaged enough that by the time there was another knock at his door, he was on the last chapter of the fourth medical textbook.

Daryl had forced Hershel to give him more of the textbooks agreeing he'd stay put if he could read more. The pictures entertained him and the text wasn't too terrible as far as textbooks went anyway. Even learned a few things not that he was volunteering to help with the medical stuff. Too much touching involved for the hunter to be comfortable. But at least if someone broke a leg he'd know what to do.

He also learned the medically approved way to treat a snake bite. Though when they'd been kids Merle had sucked out more than a few snake bites from them both. He often told Daryl that if he didn't sit still while he was working he'd just have to cut the limb off. It wasn't until years later that Daryl realized neither of them had ever been bitten by any poisonous snakes, he could never tell if Merle knew that and was just trying to scare him or if he really did think there was a chance they could die from the bites.

"Yah?" Daryl called glancing up from his book, the sun was setting outside his window. He'd managed to avoid going crazy through the day, barely.

"How are you feeling?" Daryl's face reddened behind his book. He didn't need to look up to know it was Rick. Judging by the smell that entered the room with him, he had dinner.

"I'm fine." Daryl mumbled. The last thing he really wanted was to be around Rick. He'd acted like such a little bitch in front of him. The man was probably disappointed in his pathetic behavior. Daryl's father would have beaten him black and blue if he had acted like that in front of him. But Rick wouldn't do that right? Daryl's hands clenched tightly around the book. Maybe he'll just set the food down and leave. Daryl thought desperately.

"Looks like you've gone a little stir crazy in here." The officer chuckled. Daryl glanced around the room quickly. He'd thrown the pillows off the bed and kicked the sheets to the floor. They were too soft and plushy for his taste. There were half finished arrows scattered around the room and several of the medical textbooks were set haphazardly on the side table.

"Looks fine to me." Daryl shrugged.

"I brought you some food." Rick smiled warmly. Daryl ducked his head, not wanting to see any anger or disappointment reflected in the man's blue eyes. "I was hoping I could eat in here. Keep you company?"

"Don' need any company." Daryl barked back, it felt like Rick was reminding Daryl how pathetic he had acted when he fainted. This made his automatic responses of aggression and withdrawal stronger than normal.

"Okay, then maybe you could keep me company while I eat?" Rick pressed not being deferred by Daryl's attitude. "If you really want me gone I'll leave. But I'd prefer to stay here if possible." Daryl gulped, would he be a sissy to say that Rick could stay? The man was asking Daryl to let him stay. Not the other way around. So… maybe just this once it would be okay? Daryl glanced up at Rick who was waiting for his reply. The hunter noticed there were two bowls in his hands, one for him and the other for Daryl. Obviously, the man didn't want to eat with the others (probably due to the fight he and Lori had, if Daryl had to guess.) Daryl bit the side of his thumb but he put his book down and nodded slightly to the chair. Rick smiled widely at him and took a seat before handing one of the bowls to Daryl. "Maggie, Glenn, and I went on a supply run today. So there's plenty of food."

"Did ya'll eat all the deer meet?" Daryl asked trying to keep himself busy and not focused on Rick.

"Nah Hershel helped us preserve some of it. So there's still some left. We wouldn't eat it all without you."

"Ya could have if ya wanted to." Daryl shrugged. Rick had a disappointed look in his eyes when Daryl said that but it passed quickly.

"Looks like you've had fun today."

"Wouldn' call it fun exactly." Daryl grumbled shifting uncomfortably in his bed.

"You made a lot of arrows."

"Didn' have nothin' better to do." He turned his eyes to the pile of arrows. At least he wouldn't run out for a little while.

Silence trailed between them. Daryl didn't normally mind silence however it felt like Rick was trying to talk about something but couldn't figure out how to say it. That set Daryl on edge. It made him worried that it was about him. That despite everyone's words he really was putting a strain on the group and their survival.

"Did you enjoy the books?" Rick looked up from his food that he'd been poking at for a while.

"They weren' terrible." Daryl huffed. "Hershel tryin' to keep me busy I'd guess."

"That sounds like him." Rick smiled openly. "I'm glad you're feeling better." Daryl shrugged at his words. "Every time I checked in on you, you were completely out."

"Ya checked up on me?" Daryl asked incredulously.

"Yeah." Rick's blue eyes sparkled with camaraderie. Daryl wanted to recoil from that look but he had nowhere to escape to. "During the breaks when I was on the night watch, I've sat in here. It's quieter than the other rooms and I figured you could use the company. Know that you weren't alone." Daryl turn slightly away from Rick to hide the color that rushed to his cheeks.

"Didn' even know ya were here." Daryl grunted.

"Well it's the thought that counts right?" Rick shrugged. "If I were in your position I wouldn't want to be left completely alone. I always hated being left alone when I was sick when I was little."

Daryl thought about the image of Rick being little sick in bed with his mother and father watching over him and giving him hugs and soup with little happy smiles in the crackers. At least that's how families acted on the Hallmark specials that Daryl saw when his father was too drunk to realize what he was watching. In fact, his father probably thought they were pornos judging by the fact that any time there was a special on he'd yell about everyone needing to take their clothes off. Daryl could see that in Rick's life, in a cookie cutter sort of world where everything was perfect.

But Daryl himself couldn't see that at all for him. Whenever he was sick as a child his father would beat him when he cough too much and interrupt whatever floozy he was banging. There was only a few times that Merle was actually around and able to help Daryl when he was sick or injured. Usually his brother was either in juvie or avoiding home by staying at the bar with his gang. Daryl has some very pale memories of his mother taking care of him when he had a fever. But those were faded and dull with all the years between them. He could barely see his mother in his head but he could remember feeling her cold fingers on his head as she tried to rub his frequent fevers out. He could still smell the same smoky Virginia Slims that clung to her fingers and hair but he couldn't remember what her eyes looked like when she was happy. Or even what her voice sounded like when she called his name.

"Daryl?" Rick's voice whispered close to his ear. "Are you feeling ill?" Concern was laced in the man's eyes. "Do you want me to get Hershel?"

"Hell no." Daryl growled. "Last thin' I need is to be stuck in here longer."

"You had a faraway look in your eyes."

"Yer imaginin' it." Daryl denied.

"Well regardless you have to tell me if you get sick or feel bad again remember? You made an oath with me." Rick looked him hard in the eyes. Daryl couldn't lie to those eyes. It felt like the man would know the instant he lied.

"I shouldn' have told ya." Daryl hissed under his breath.

"You keep saying that." Rick sighed. He rested his arms on his legs after moving his bowl to the table. Rick's whole body seemed heavy with wariness. "Why did you tell me about it? You keep talking about how you shouldn't have told me. So why did you?" Daryl put his head against the headboard and stared at the wall anywhere but Rick.

"'Cause we need to be able to trust each other. 'Cause ya needed a way to trust me and it's the only thin' I have that means anythin'."

"Trust you?" Rick whispered. Daryl glanced at Rick from the corner of his eyes. The man looked shocked and upset. His eyes were wide and almost watery as they gazed at Daryl. "Daryl you…" Daryl turned towards Rick waiting for the man to tell him how there was no way for him to ever trust the hunter. That redneck trash wasn't worthy of trust. Rick licked his lips and opened his mouth, the man hadn't uttered a single syllable before a knock interrupted him.

"Dad?" Carl poked his head into the room. Rick jerked back in his seat like he'd been bitten by a walker and turned quickly to Carl.

"Yeah?"

"Mom wants to talk to you and it's about time to switch the watch soon." Rick sighed deeply and nodded at his son.

"Thanks Carl. I'll be right there." Carl closed the door but not before he shot Daryl a quick shy smile. He seemed to be in good spirits, Rick on the other hand deflated the moment the door shut. "Listen Daryl now's not the time, but we need to talk about this. We need to talk about a lot of things." Rick rubbed his temples. "We just… I mean." He sighed. "Need to work things out." He muttered. Daryl bit his lip as his father's and Merle's voices nipped at the back of his mind. "We'll talk later… Once we have the time." Daryl nodded but he couldn't really hear Rick anymore, the voices in his ears were louder than Rick's voice. They were louder than Daryl's own thoughts. "Well I'd better go." Rick groaned standing up wearily. "Sleep well Daryl."

Daryl nodded automatically his eyes locked on the wall. The door shut leaving Daryl alone with his demons for the rest of the night.

* * *

Man I'm sorry this took so long to get out! I've been on vacation for a while and haven't had an internet connection the whole time. But I'm back and good news is the next chapter is basically done too (just need to edit it) so that should be up soon. Thank you for waiting! Also thank you everyone who reviewed, favorites, and follows this story. I can't express how happy it makes me! It makes me excited for all the different places I'm planning on taking this story. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and are willing to keep following me as slowly bring them together! Thanks again and see you next time!


	7. Chapter 7

Daryl couched close to the ground. His ears tuned into the sounds of the forest. The winter's cold was finally starting to ease off and he could travel without the poncho that had been necessary to fight off the chill that could easily seep into his body during the days. The nights were still frigid enough that he used it while on watch but during the day the sunlight warmed his bones and he was able to keep going.

Daryl closed his eyes and inhaled heavily. He could smell animal droppings, the cold ground, and even a walker several miles away. Essence of walker was something that lingered and lingered. Daryl could easily track down walkers not that he'd ever felt the need to. But none of those were the smell he was searching for. Suddenly the wind shifted slightly and he caught the scent on the breeze. The scent was faint certainly, but it was present enough to give him a starting point.

Merle had always made fun of Daryl's unnatural senses. Saying that he was more an animal than a man.

"Ma ain' yer ma. Yer ma was a bloodhound explains the smell too." Daryl pushed Merle in the creek the first time he said that to him. Got a wicked black eye from his brother but damn, it was worth it to see him spitting out water and muck.

Merle had continued to tease Daryl often about his senses trying to mess with him as often as he could. The 'can you hear the Lagunas (the retired eighty plus couple mind you) having sex down the road?' those jokes got old fast. Same with the 'tell me what I ate for lunch by smelling my farts.' It came to a point that Daryl longed to have just normal senses. Hell to just be _normal_. But he was always the odd one, in a family that redefined insanity in the first place.

It took many years but he eventually realized that his senses could be an asset if he let them. Sure not many places would hire a guy who could smell exactly where all the customers were sitting and where they had come from. (And yes he could sometimes tell what they had eaten earlier.) Nor would they look for a guy who could hear every piece of gossip inside and outside the building. But he'd figured out how to apply his abilities to hunting. Being able to hear and smell game was almost as good as having heat vision.

The one skill that Daryl actually had and enjoyed having was only benefited by his weird traits. His mother had once told him that 'All traits no matter how strange have a purpose. It's our job to find out what the purpose is and how we can help those around us with our traits.' She said that right before his father came in and beat her face in for not getting the beer he wanted. Most of Daryl's memories seemed to end that way, in blood, violence, and death.

Daryl slowly moved through the forest, taking quiet measured steps. He moved in a way that seemed like he was gliding over the ground instead of walking. He broke no branches or rustled any leaves.

"A ghost in the forest always catches his prey." Merle had said once when Daryl was still young and first learning how to hunt. Daryl froze when the wind shifted again and the smell evaporated on the breeze. It was carried away from him like the wind was trying to screw with the hunter. He could move but the knowledge that the wind would carry Daryl's scent to his prey bothered him. Even though he knew there was no reason to worry, his prey wasn't nearly as adapt at this as Daryl.

The hunter closed his eyes and focused deeply. He listened again. This time he was close enough to hear something that didn't belong in the forest. A soft crunching of rubber on still frozen ground. It wasn't much a slight shift of weight but that shift sounded like a gunshot in Daryl's focused ears. He opened his eyes and let the focus drain out of him.

Daryl had the tough lesson of learning that his hearing and sense of smell could also be a painful hindrance. In school, he'd nearly driven himself nuts on a daily basis listening and smelling everything all at once. Part of Daryl's constant absenteeism came from the splitting headaches the congested hallways created. Daryl eventually realized the only way to survive around others (so to speak) was to learn how to tune down his senses to a more manageable level. It had taken a long time but after years of practice, he could get through most crowds without too much trouble. He went through most of life at the tuned down level (only in the woods did he feel safe enough from the chaos of human life to let his natural senses filter back in) but even at the tuned down level his senses were still better than everyone around him.

Daryl didn't feel the need to explain any of this to the others, but part of his tracking skills came from his ability to hyper focus his senses to their sharpest level. With the focus gone, Daryl opened his eyes and knew exactly where to go. He crept slowly moving through the brush until he could see the back of his target. Daryl's target was trying very hard not to move at all but the man radiated energy that practically made the man's body twitch. Daryl noticed he even breathed loud enough for the hunter to be able to pick him out from several yards away.

Daryl rolled his eyes and wanted to scoff but wouldn't risk any noise. It was almost sad how easy this is, he thought. With a slow tug, his hunting knife was pulled from its sheath. Carefully sliding forward Daryl stepped up to his targets back. The man didn't even realize Daryl was on him until it was too late. Daryl pushed the blade against the man's throat and whispered.

"Found ya. Ya lose."

"Damn it." Rick hissed letting his hand drop from the holster on his hip. Daryl smirked at Rick as he pulled his knife away from the man's neck and put it back. "I thought for sure you wouldn't find me this time."

"Told ya, can' breathe or move. Ya make too much noise."

"I didn't move." Rick grumbled cracking his neck out. "I did know you were there though."

"When did ya realize that? When I had my knife to yer throat?" Daryl rolled his eyes at Rick.

"No about three seconds before you put your knife to my throat, that's why I was going for my gun."

"Gettin' better at noticin' at least. That's good. Means yer more observant of the surroundin'."

"I thought for sure I'd have you this time." Rick bumped his head against the tree trunk.

"Yer gettin' better but not enough to fool me."

"Maybe I should blindfold you next time." Rick muttered.

"That would just make it easier for me." Daryl scoffed. Rick still didn't get that Daryl didn't need his eyes to track. They just made it more efficient.

"Admit it I'm never going to be good enough to go hunting with you. That's why you're playing this annoying hide and seek game with me."

"Nah." Daryl shrugged. "I'm tryin' to teach ya that huntin' requires silence. Ya need to be totally silent to hunt the right way. Once ya learn that the rest is easier."

"Yeah yeah. That's what you keep telling me." Rick sighed and stood up straight. "So what's next. I go hide again so you can creep up on me?" Daryl glanced up at Rick and saw that the man looked frustrated and borderline annoyed. They'd been at the 'hiding and seeking game' as Rick called it for a few hours and there still wasn't much progress. Though if Daryl was honest Rick hadn't progressed much in the last month they'd been working on his skills. It wasn't that Rick wasn't trying, the man had amazing dedication. When he put his mind to something he went at it with everything he had.

But Daryl had the feeling that it was Rick himself that was the problem. It was something that Rick probably wasn't even aware of but the man walked with purpose, strength, authority, and leadership. Something he'd probably had his whole life that only grew stronger when he became an officer of the law and finally leader of their band of survivors. While Daryl had learned at a young age that walking quietly made you a smaller less noticeable target, Rick never had that problem. Now they were trying to turn around a whole lifetime of personality traits. Daryl hadn't told Rick his theory (only because it wasn't something the man could just turn off once he realized it) the only thing he could do was try to help Rick add a quieter step to his confident gait.

"Maybe we should take a break." Daryl suggested fingering his crossbow. The string was starting to wear a bit. He'd either need to replace it or find a new bow (like he could just stroll into a mall and say 'New crossbow please! Also your finest hamburger!')

"Let's face it Daryl." Rick sighed. "I suck. I'll never get this." Daryl looked up to see Rick eyes were downfallen and disappointed.

"Yer tryin' to learn what took me years in a few weeks. Takes time." Daryl tried to encourage him. But Rick's blue eyes were still clouded with self-disappointment. Daryl sighed and slung his crossbow back on his shoulder. "Let's head back. I left some tracks so we'll do a quick lesson in trackin' again." Rick nodded but he couldn't bring himself to respond.

The walk back to the house was quiet. The silence was only broken on the occasion that Daryl pointed out an obvious track to Rick such as broken branches or scuffs on the dirt. Rick nodded when Daryl pointed things out but otherwise didn't talk or move outside of walking forwarded in his defeated manner. When they reached the edge of the forest and started coming up through the dog park Daryl paid more attention to their surroundings.

The forest was one thing for lessons. But here closer to the neighborhoods they could never be too careful. The herds often seemed to stick to the suburbs and cities during the winter. They'd been lucky none had wondered through their current area. The last house they'd been in for less than a day before having to pack up and leave. Through the harshest part of winter, the group had been extremely lucky Daryl realized. They'd managed to survive for a long time in that house before having to move on for more food and supplies. This current house they'd been in for five days and so far things had been going okay. It wasn't as big as the last but it was close to several other houses they could easily loot for supplies. Plus the easy access to the woods through the nearby dog park was a bonus in Daryl's book.

Daryl paused at the edge of the adjoining neighborhood and checked for the all clear sign. The group had come up with several ways to communicate without words over the winter and this one would let whoever was out getting supplies or in Daryl and Rick's case training that the house was still safe and the group hadn't moved on to one of the meeting spots because of a herd. Sure enough Daryl saw no dropped balls or red colored dresses tossed out of car windows. Meaning the group was still at the house.

"Looks like things are okay." Rick whispered at Daryl's side. Daryl glanced around and listened hard. He didn't hear any shuffling or moaning. With a sniff he confirmed no rotten flesh and putrid blood either. Daryl nodded back to Rick giving his approval. The two started to cautiously walk towards the house slipping through back alleys and yards (just in case walkers or worse other survivors were around.) Rick paused after a moment his eyes lingering on the large house to their right. "We haven't been through here." Daryl paused and stared at it as well.

"Want me to get T-Dog and Carl?" They'd all gotten very good at looting and clearing houses of walkers. Regardless of it being one, they were going to stay in or just one they wanted to take supplies from. But T-Dog and Carl worked well together. Glenn and Maggie were still taking a breather from their last supply run (something that the group started doing after Daryl had fainted nearly a month ago. Everyone got a break after supply runs or clearing houses it helped to keep everyone's morale up. Which kept them healthier.) Rick stared at the house long and hard before starting up the path.

"I think we can handle it right?" Rick pulled his gun from its holster. Daryl quickly shrugged his crossbow off and moved to Rick's side. Normally they'd wait but the discouragement from early was clearly weighing on Rick's mind. Daryl noticed that Rick looked almost excited. Killing walkers was something he was good (almost unnaturally good) at which would be a boost to the man's pride. But that didn't mean Daryl would let Rick's pride to get in the way of his safety.

To prove this point, Daryl eased the door open and took the first wide sweep into the house. Seeing nothing, he moved in enough for Rick to follow. Rick started off towards the right and Daryl pulled his knife out quickly trailing behind Rick. They crept through the house together. Deliberately and judiciously checking each room thoroughly. The house was nearly untouched a few blood stains but no walkers in sight.

The pair breathed a sigh of relief before starting to search through the cupboards and drawers.

"Found some knives." Daryl mumbled checking each one thoroughly; only worse thing than having no knives was having knives that broke after one use.

"Food too." Rick said from the pantry. "Not much we can use but better than nothing." When they'd cleaned out the kitchen they started upstairs. Daryl automatically made his way to the study. The walls were covered in dusty tomes of all shapes and sizes. He put the books that looked helpful into his bag. The medical textbooks Hershel had were invaluable to the group and he always kept his eyes peeled for any other useful books. There was only a few that looked helpful, some about garden, basic first aid, and a few cookbooks. But Daryl grabbed a few of the heavier tomes as well knowing that if worse came to worse they could use the paper to start a fire. Though if he was honest with himself he loathed that idea, books were some of the few things they could still enjoy from the old world and unlike food they didn't expire. "Books?" Rick asked from the doorway. Daryl shrugged.

"Why not? Thought we could use more."

"You're going to have a library soon." Rick smiled. It was a well-known 'secret' amongst the group that Daryl had a small collection of books that he moved with him when they went from house to house during the winter. These books had nothing to do with hunting or any kind of a survival skill however. The useful books like Hershel's medical books were passed around the group and everyone took care of them but Daryl's collection was full of mostly fictions.

The group would on occasion surprise him with a new book they'd scavenged from a house or on a supply run into town. "Here," Rick said tossing him a bag. "That one looks strong enough for your books." Daryl started to pile his books into the bag and secured them on his back. "Glad you found some new ones. Now we can start fighting over something new to read."

"What I don' get to read them first?" Daryl asked looking up. Rick chuckled.

"You always share with the group first. Though if you wanted first crack at them I'm sure they wouldn't mind." Daryl shrugged, Rick was right. He didn't see the point in keeping them for himself. He didn't get the books for his pleasure alone. He wanted to give the group something to look forward to. Something of the old world to treasure. Daryl often wondered when he got the books how Dale would have felt about his choices. The old man surely would have known which of the books would be the best and most uplifting for their struggling group. But Daryl himself wasn't as well read as he would have liked. So he could only guess and hope the books would be ones that Dale would have picked himself.

"Ya find anythin'?"

"Some clothes. Few medical supplies in the bathroom." Rick smirked at Daryl. "Playboy hidden under a mattress." Daryl chuckled.

"Ya brin' that yer carryin' it."

"Relax. I left it. Not exactly what I'd want to have at the end of the world anyway." Rick sighed. "I think this place was pretty worked over before we got here."

"Yeah but at least they didn' take ever'thin'."

"We got lucky." Rick agreed.

"Let's check outside." Daryl suggested as he adjusted his bags on his shoulders. The bag full of books was the heaviest but he was willing to deal with the discomfort. Realistically Daryl knew that if the books ever became a hindrance to the group's constant moving he'd have to leave them behind but for the time being he could keep manage moving them from house to house. "Might get lucky."

"Yeah last time that chainsaw blade worked wonders." Rick nodded following behind Daryl.

"There was that one house with gas cans in the garage should check there too."

"I looked it over nothing in there expect a bike and some skateboards."

"Damn." They opened the door to the back and saw a very messy yard. A few months without lawn care made the houses look jungle like.

"Would hate to mow this." Rick whistled. Daryl was about to agree when something caught his eye. A giant clear building pushed towards the side of the yard. Daryl moved quickly towards it wanting to be right. "Daryl?" Rick called softly when the man didn't slow down, he rushed after him.

"It's a greenhouse." Daryl said pulling hard on the doors.

"So?"

"So…" Daryl growled tugging at the handles. "Some people grow plants or vegetables. Hell some people have medicinal gardens." The doors screeched open and Daryl slipped inside the warm room. Rick followed closely behind.

"Would it really survive without water?" Daryl pointed to a line running through the roof of the greenhouse.

"See that? It's a water line probably separate from the house. These plants actually look pretty healthy all things considered." He said looking closer at the foliage. Some of the plants were yellow and brown clearly dead but a good number of them were alive.

"I don't see anything that could help us out." Rick said with a sigh.

"Nah ya just don' know what to look for." Daryl corrected working his way through the stacks of plants. There weren't any vegetables that he could see. But a few of the plants had seeds that humans could eat. They were bitter as hell but edible. There was also a few plants they could use to heal burns and stuffy noses. Daryl started grabbing leaves and roots from the ones that could help but left enough so the plant wouldn't die. If they ended up staying in the area long enough they might need the supplies again he reasoned.

"Do you really know what all of this stuff is?" Daryl nodded.

"Most of it."

"When we were running out of medical supplies a while back you went out and brought us herbs. How did you learn about them?" Rick asked watching Daryl closely as he added different plants to his bag.

"Merle taught me a little. Though he only knew a few of the plants and their uses. Some I figured out on my own or read about in Hershel's book." Daryl rested on his heels and looked up at Rick as he spoke. "Sometimes the only thin' I had to treat wounds were plants. Learned pretty quick which ones helped and which ones made it worse." Daryl clambered to his feet and checked around the other side. It was full of mostly exotic plants like Orchids and some plants that Daryl had only seen in books. There was even a large Bird of Paradise in one corner.

"You know a lot don't you?"

"Hershel probably knows more." Daryl shrugged. He set his bag down on the edge of the shelf while he examined the plants closely.

"Why do you do that?" Rick sighed. His blue eyes were sharp watching Daryl closely.

"Do what?" Daryl ran his fingers over the Bird of Paradise. It looked like it was doing incredibly well all things considered.

"Brush off your accomplishments and skills like they don't mean anything."

"Cause they don'."

"But you-"

"Look ya could be the strongest, smartest guy alive and still get bit. Skills don' matter anymore."

"You're right. It's good to be cautious and being overconfident can get you killed. But I feel like that's not the case with you. That you slight yourself because you really don't think the things you do are impressive or worthy of praise at all." Rick said moving closer to Daryl. His eyes were burning into the man.

"How I feel 'bout myself doesn' mean shit 'specially not now." Daryl growled trying to move past Rick who had started to close in on Daryl as an argument started to build between them.

"It does! Every time anyone tries to thank you, you brush us off! You're a part of this group but you always keep yourself away from us." Daryl felt his heart rate increase as Rick pressed in closer. The walls seemed to be closing in on him and Rick was blocking the only escape he had. Daryl wanted to pull away, he didn't want to talk about any of this. He didn't want to be surrounded and backed into a corner like he was. Rick moved in pinning Daryl against the shelf. The metal dug into his back as he tried to gain as much space as he could. There was barely any room for him to breathe. Things were getting too tight. "Daryl this group needs you. You're important to us." Daryl couldn't hear outside of the roaring in his ears. Trapped trapped trapped. His eyes kept looking frantically for a way out. The room was collapsing in on him.

"Ya are a useless little fuck. Don' forget that boy. Ya are worth less than the air ya breathe." Daryl could feel his father's hand on his scalp pulling him up. He could feel his father twist his arm and twist until it snapped. Daryl could feel the agony of his father's hunting knife digging into his shoulder blade.

"Daryl?" Rick asked from somewhere far away. Daryl's body was trembling and his breathing was coming out in strangled little gasps like someone had his fingers around the hunter's windpipe and was squeezing it tightly. Rick noticed that Daryl's eyes had a slightly glazed almost glassy look to them as they darted all over the room. It looked like he wasn't really aware of where he was. "Daryl?" Rick called softly trying to draw the man back to him.

Daryl was mumbling something quietly, too quiet for Rick to understand but he could see the hunter's chapped lips moving rapidly. Rick slowly and gently reached out to touch Daryl's shoulder where he could hopefully snap him out whatever he'd fallen into. The second Rick's fingers brushed against Daryl's vest the man went rigid and everything stopped. Rick worried that Daryl was going to pass out because he had stopped breathing. Rick went to apply more pressure so he'd be able to catch Daryl if he fell again. He was so focused on looking for a sign of Daryl's body collapsing again. There was no warning. Everything was frozen almost timeless one second and the next the world exploded.

* * *

Well that's another chapter done! I don't usually like cliff hangers and don't usually leave things on them. But it was either that or combine this chapter 7 and 8 and that would make it really really long. So enjoy the cliff hanger (I know no one enjoys those! So I'm kidding about enjoying it.) Review if you can and again thanks for all the reviews and favorites so far! They really make me super happy.


	8. Chapter 8

The impact of something hard and heavy smashing against Rick's face left a ringing in his ears and spots jumping around his eyes. Rick nearly collapsed but he landed against the shelf behind him and managed to steady his legs for a moment. He felt dazed like he'd gone a round with a brick wall using only his head as a weapon. Rick shakily raised a hand to his temple. It came away crimson as blood trickled down his cheeks and started to drip down his chin onto the dirty ground below. The spots started to clear slightly but the ringing persisted. "Daryl?" He called hoarsely. Rick's eyes were locked on his fingers and the blood trickling towards his wrist. "Daryl did I fall?"

Rick couldn't understand how he ended up hurt. He wondered if he'd been shot. His ears hurt like he was back in the tank in Atlanta. "Daryl?" He called again sliding down the shelf to rest on the ground. The ground was crunchy and full of dirty and shards of pottery. "I think I hit my head." Rick mumbled. He looked up to where Daryl was standing. Or where he should have been standing. "Daryl?" Rick called out again. He turned his head slowly from side to side but couldn't see the hunter anywhere. He peeled his jacket off and pressed it to his temple. "Slow the blood flow." Rick mumbled remembering Hershel's words about bleeding wounds. He waited a moment until the ringing stopped and the room didn't spin as badly before standing up.

When Rick was at his full height, he breathed slowly trying to control the wave of nausea that hit his stomach like a metal bat. He gripped his bag and pulled in onto his shoulder. "Daryl." He whispered. He moved to the door and nearly tripped over Daryl's bags. He shrugged them on and drew his Python. Rick cautiously moved to the entrance. If Daryl wasn't here but his bags were then he might have been attacked. This fact sobered Rick up almost instantly. He dropped his jacket on the ground; a minor wound wasn't going to stop him, especially with a member of his group in danger. The pain in his head was forgotten as he moved outside. Rick couldn't see or hear any walkers but that didn't mean the place was safe. He eased the back door to the house open with his foot. No sounds came from within. "Daryl?" Rick called as loud as he dared. Nothing returned to him, no voices calling back nor shuffling of walkers hungry for a bite. Rick checked each room but the house looked the same as it had when they first entered it. No signs of a fight or a struggle either.

Rick stood in the driveway, he couldn't pick out any tire marks, and no smell of gasoline. "Daryl." Rick gripped the shoulder strap of the hunter's bag tighter. The urge to search the surrounding area was almost overwhelming. The fear that coiled in Rick's gut caused a shimmer of sweat to bead along his temple. Daryl's the tracker, Rick reminded himself. It would better to have everyone help, he decided making his way to the neighborhood the rest of the group was at.

Rick entered through the cellar door and knocked four times signaling that it was him. A moment later and Glenn opened the door.

"Hey did you make any oh Jesus!" Glenn rushed forward to help Rick inside the house. "What happened?!" Rick shook his head.

"Daryl's…need." He mumbled the ringing was back and his mouth felt like it was full of cotton.

"Hershel! Come quick!" Glenn yelled supporting Rick. He helped half-leading half-dragging Rick into the living room. Rick collapsed on the couch; the bags slid down his shoulders and thunked to the floor at his feet.

"What's going on?" Hershel asked rushing down the stairs.

"Rick?!" Lori wailed moving to his side.

"Dad?" Carl shouted from up the stairs. The room was a flurry of movement as everyone started to crowd around their leader.

"Let me look." Hershel said moving Rick's hair from his temple and the wound. His hair clung together in chunks, dyed red from blood. "Carol get my kit."

"What happened?!" Maggie cried her voice rising with fear. "Were you attacked?"

"We need to leave!"

"It's not safe anymore." Maggie said fiercely.

"Stop it!" Lori yelled in Maggie's face. "Rick is hurt! We are _not_ going anywhere!"

"My dad can patch him up on the road. But if this place is about to be overrun we have to leave now!"

"We can't." Rick growled. "Daryl…"

"Daryl?" Carol whispered from the doorway. Her eyes were impossibly large. "Is he?"

"I don't know." Rick mumbled. "I got hit and when I realized what happened Daryl was gone." Carol trembled at his words.

"Carol! The kit now!" Hershel hissed. She set it down and breathed deeply composing herself.

"What do you need?" She asked Hershel. Her face a mask of calm control. Though Rick didn't doubt a storm of fear was churning in her chest just like one was brewing in his own chest.

"The gauze and bandages." While she got those together, he turned his attention back to Rick. "How long ago did this happen?"

"I'm not sure." Rick murmured.

"Have you been feeling lightheaded? Nausea or vomiting?" Hershel asked looking into Rick's eyes.

"A little lightheaded and nauseous but no vomiting."

"What about passing out or seizures?"

"I don't think so." Hershel nodded and pressed the gauze that Carol handed him to Rick's head.

"The good news is it looks like it's only a mild concussion."

"You call that mild?!" Lori cried her eyes wide and hysteria overtaking her voice.

"It's a head wound. They bleed a lot. If Rick's pupils were dilated or he had had a seizure then that's different. But right now he's alert and able to talk to us. He'll have a headache from the wound and blood loss but otherwise he should be okay." Hershel said in a calm voice trying to relax Lori. Carol gently touched Lori's arm and nodded at her.

"He'll be okay don't worry." She said softly. Carol's words didn't seem to console Lori much. She still stared up at Rick with huge terrified eyes like she expected him to drop dead at any moment.

"Though I will insist that you don't sleep for a little while, that way I can keep my eye on you and make sure it doesn't get worse." Rick nodded at Hershel's words. Hershel tied the bandages around Rick's head tightly so they could hold the gauze in place. "I'd say you got lucky though. Could have been a hell of a lot worse."

"Is the area secure?" Maggie asked softly from the windows. She kept glancing out like she expected a herd to come knocking on the door at any moment.

"I wasn't attacked by walkers. I didn't see any on the way in." Rick mumbled prodding the fresh bandages. "But we'll keep watch to make sure." He assured her. Maggie calmed down almost immediately at his words. Rick looked up at Carol who was still staring at him with eyes that were close to tears. "We'll find him. We will." He told her. Carol gave a halfhearted smile that didn't reach her eyes. She touched Rick's hand.

"I know." She agreed squeezing his hand.

"Not tonight you won't." Lori hissed angrily. Her face was twisted with rage at the idea of Rick leaving. "You're hurt! You can't go anywhere!"

"Daryl is out there!" Rick snarled. "This isn't a discussion. I'm going out there."

"Rick I understand your good intentions but Lori is right. You're hurt. If you go out there and push yourself, you could make it worse easily. _That_ could kill you." Hershel said softly, his wise eyes watching Rick. Trying to talk sense into him.

"It's going to be dark soon anyway." Maggie added. "We can't go out there at night. It's too hard to see and we'd just get lost. That wouldn't help anyone." Carol looked as crushed as Rick felt. He knew the same thing was flashing through her mind, as it was his, Sophia. It's just like it was with Sophia.

"We'll keep watch." Glenn said gently. "If we see him while on watch we could go after him right?" This felt like losing a war. Rick wanted to press forward to argue that they couldn't leave Daryl out there alone. Carol's hand on his made him pause.

"Daryl will be okay." She said softly there was no doubt in her voice. "He's survived days on his own before and at night. He'll be back. I know it." Rick looked for any lies in her eyes. But he couldn't see any, the only thing he saw in her eyes was the same thing he felt inside of himself. An unshakable trust that if anyone could survive it was Daryl. If anyone would make it back to the group, it was him.

It was that trust that allowed Rick to nod. Carol smiled gently and helped Rick to stand. Lori rushed to his side to help as well but Rick yanked his arm back. He didn't want anything to do with her. He wanted to go after Daryl. He wanted the sinking dark feeling in his gut to vanish with the hunter's return. Until then he couldn't tolerate Lori's eyes judging him, constantly questioning his every move.

Carol helped lead Rick up the stairs. "Come on." She whispered. "You can keep watch for a while with Carl." Rick nodded.

"He'll be okay." It wasn't a question. Carol nodded.

"He will." She agreed as she eased the door open.

"Dad? Are you okay?" Carl asked from by the window. He obviously had wanted to rush down the stairs at the commotion Rick's return caused but he took his duty to keep the group safe seriously and didn't leave his post.

"Fine, slight bump on the head." Carol helped put Rick in one of the chairs near the window.

"I'll go help Hershel clean up. Carl make sure he doesn't sleep. He needs to stay awake for a while." Carl nodded at her words and turned back to the window.

"I was going to ask you how training went but obviously not well." Carl joked awkwardly. Rick groaned.

"God training. Almost forgot about that." Rick rubbed his temple slightly hoping the ache would leave.

"So did Daryl get tired of you and push you off a cliff?"

"No. He keeps trying to teach me. I'm…just not very good." Rick sighed leaning back in his chair.

"Takes time. Carol wasn't very good at shooting but she's getting better." Carl pointed out. He kept glancing at his father but no longer than a second or two. He didn't want to risk leaving the group exposed because his father was injured.

"That she is. I just… should be better than I am. I can't stay quiet and I can't track." Rick licked his lips. "It's discouraging."

"Keep trying. I'm sure it'll click." Rick smiled at his son. He sounded so mature. Older than he was, part of the problem with growing up in this world. No childhood left for Carl to enjoy. It seemed cruel at times but Carl had continued to surprise him with his adaptability and strength. Silence filled the room as Rick stared at his son. He could remember a time when Carl was afraid of the dark. Now there were genuine reasons to be afraid of the dark. It just seemed so backwards. His son was doing things that Rick himself hadn't learned until he was an adult. But Carl never complained he pushed forward not just for himself but for everyone. "Are you okay? Is talking making your head hurt?" Carl asked his eyes sliding over to his father.

"I'm fine. Just thinking." Rick mumbled. "I should probably keep talking huh? Make sure I don't fall asleep."

"Yeah." Carl nodded. "Tell me more about practice."

"God. Why?"

"Cause it's funny to hear about. Daryl still tells me how you nearly fell into the creek trying to chase down a squirrel." Carl chuckled at the memory. Rick however felt his body grow cold at the mention of Daryl. They'd left him out there and this wasn't one of his 'I'm going hunting for the good of the group' things. This was a 'I have no idea where Daryl went and if he's even alive' deals. Rick closed his eyes and composed himself. Carol was right, Daryl was alive. He wouldn't die so easily. The man was too stubborn to die. Though knowing Daryl he'd say his Dixon blood was too stubborn to die. Rick let a breath out slowly. Daryl's alive. He said mentally, leaving no room for second thoughts. "Dad?" Carl asked concerned.

"Sorry lost in thought." Rick smiled softly at his son who calmed considerably at his words.

"You're not supposed to sleep so talk. It'll keep you awake. People can't sleep and talk at the same time."

"Are you sure about that? You've held full conversations with me when you were asleep." Rick laughed at Carl's horrified expression.

"No I didn't! Did I?" Rick nodded and Carl looked even more terrified. "Oh god did I say anything bad?"

"Not to me." Rick laughed. "But you did tell your mother that a dress she was wearing made her look like a two legged purple elephant." Carl groaned and put his head in his hand. Rick chuckled. "Don't worry it wasn't a very nice dress anyway." He reassured his son.

"Now you've embarrassed me. So embarrass yourself and tell me about your training." Carl glared at Rick.

"Ouch when did you get to be so harsh?"

"Since you didn't buy me a pony for my birthday." Carl deadpanned. Rick snickered.

"Maybe next year. I'll find you a unicorn."

"You had better." Carl agreed smiling at his father. It suited him, Rick decided. It had been too long since he'd seen his son smile.

"So where should I start?" Rick sighed. Putting his arms against his knees.

"From the beginning?"

"Now you're just being mean." He looked pointedly at Carl.

"Just a little."

"We started off with that 'dumb be as still and quiet as possible exercise.'" Rick sighed.

"You mean the hide and seek one? Jeez dad thought you'd have graduated to at least middle school games." Carl grinned widely at his father.

"You know just because the world has ended doesn't mean I can't ground you."

"What are you going to do? Take my phone from me?" Carl quirked an eyebrow. Rick chuckled deeply.

"I guess it's a little harder to ground you now."

"So you played games. Did you learn anything?" Carl redirected not wanting to torture Rick too much, even though his son was good at it.

"That I breathe too loud? Or shift too much? I don't know how he always finds me. I could be underwater and Daryl would still be able to find me."

"It's what he's good at. Just like you're good at leading our group." Carl glanced sideways at his father. Rick smiled softly at his son. He reached forward and grasped his son's shoulder. Rick's eyes were gentle and filled with love for his boy, speaking volumes of his affection for his son. Carl smiled lightly back at his father. Rick nodded at Carl and gave a quick squeeze before releasing his shoulder.

"How have things been around here?"

"Quiet." Carl shrugged. "Not nearly as exciting as playing hide and seek."

"I bet."

"Do you think Daryl was popular as a kid? Cause he's so good at all those kinds of games. He must have had a lot of practice right?" Rick tried to imagine Daryl as a child. He couldn't do it. All he could do was see a smaller Daryl trying to hunt squirrels but his arms were too small for him to load his crossbow. Rick chuckled at the image. Carl glanced at Rick clearly confused.

"Um I have no idea."

"I bet he was more of a lone wolf as a teenager. You know those cool kids who don't follow the rules." Carl's eyes sparkled with his envisioned image of Daryl as a teenager.

"That's cool?" Rick asked. "Guess I wasn't very cool then."

"You didn't break the rules?" Rick shook his head.

"Not really. I played sports mostly. I didn't have time for any rule breaking." Shane was the rule breaker. Rick lived through Shane and his stories when they were younger. Sure Shane had managed to get Rick to go on some of his adventures, but most of the time Rick had to settle for listening to Shane retelling his grand adventures. He never really wanted to get into the kind of trouble Shane seemed to enjoy when they were younger. But then again that was before, when the dead rising seemed like a plot in a bad late night horror movie. "Guess the world's changed." Rick mumbled. Carl nodded in agreement.

"Yeah it has." Rick sighed and rubbed his temple. The ache in his head felt worse. All he wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep. Rick blinked his eyes trying to keep them open but they kept drooping. His head fell against the wall. Rick watched his son keeping watch on the outside world closely. Things were so wrong. This world was wrong but Rick had no idea how to fix it. The best he could do was keep his family alive. Keep his family safe. His family of nine was all that mattered in the end.

Rick closed his eyes. Just for a few minutes he thought. Just need to rest my eyes for a little while. Rick could hear whispers around him. But he couldn't figure out how to get the sleep off his eyelids. They stubbornly refused to move. The noise drifted away from him and he fell deeper into sleep.

Much later Rick shifted his fingers. He moved each body part slowly trying to wake up each limb fully yet his mind wanted nothing more than to roll over and sleep more.

Rick's fingers moved slowly across his lap mapping out his worn jeans. He knew every inch of his clothes (from being stuck in most of them for longer than he could ever wish) it was only when his fingers touched something velvety and fragile that alertness filtered back to him. Rick opened his eyes and felt the crusty dryness at his eyes. A few blinks and it cleared up somewhat. He gently lifted the thing that had woken him up, in his hands. It was a batch of four light blue hydrangeas. The color instantly reminded Rick of Daryl's eyes when he was excited.

Lori had often told Rick when they first started dating that she could tell how he was feeling by the emotion behind his eyes. Rick hadn't believed her (didn't really want to believe her. The idea of being so readable scared him.) until he met Daryl, the man was virtually unreadable when he wanted to be. But Rick had started to realize within the last few months of knowing the man that Daryl's eyes often showed how he was feeling. Not as much as Rick's own apparently but enough that he could usually guess. Daryl's eyes changed color according to his mood. It was part of why Rick liked to look Daryl in the eyes. So he could watch the changes from minute to minute. Though it sometimes seemed like his staring unnerved the hunter but that only made it more fun for Rick.

He ran his fingers over the petals stroking them gently. They weren't the waxy texture he associated with fake flowers that were at the dinner parties he'd attend a lifetime ago. Rick was about to stand to and rejoin the group to ask who gave the hydrangeas to him when a voice in the dark made him jump.

"Ya finally awake?" Rick's eyes widened as shock flittered in.

"Daryl?" He whispered almost not believing the man could be in front of him. Daryl shifted his blue eyes to Rick for a moment.

"Ya wasn' supposed to go to sleep. Isn' that what Hershel said?"

"Am I dreaming?" Rick asked reaching forward. He wanted to check, to make sure Daryl was really there. The hunter quickly batted his hand away.

"'Course not. Unless ya see that lion in the tutu too." Rick stared at Daryl then he realized what the hunter had said, a small chuckle brushed Rick's lips. Daryl didn't often make jokes unless he felt the situation really needed it. Sarcastic retorts were more his style.

"I thought…" Rick bit his lip. "I was going to look for you in the morning. I was worried you'd been hurt or attacked."

"Nah." Daryl mumbled, shifting his eyes away from Rick.

"Then where did you-" Rick started but Daryl seemed to curl away from him at his prompting. Rick sighed and settled back in his chair. The last thing he wanted was to make Daryl mad which would (probably) lead to him storming off. Instead, Rick busied himself by playing with the flowers. He kept his eyes on Daryl while his fingers touched each petal delicately. Unlike the rest of the group who used the chairs to rest on during the watch, Daryl seemed to prefer cramming himself into the window frames and resting his body against the window. It looked terribly uncomfortable especially considering how tall Daryl was. Somehow, he managed to make his large frame fit into the little squares.

"I brought the bags back." Rick said trying to get Daryl to talk to him. He was dying to ask where the hunter had been but the slightly dark look in Daryl's eyes warned him against asking anything about that subject just yet. His eyes weren't sky blue like normal instead they were a dark almost cobalt blue, which meant he was upset or at the very least feeling uncomfortable.

"I saw." Daryl mumbled cutting any chance of a conversation short.

"Your stuff should still be in there." Rick tried again. He had dealt with Daryl's standoffish personality for long enough to know when pushing his luck might actually get Daryl to open up. But only if he did it correctly. Rick always thought of Daryl like a feral cat. A cat that would eat the food you offer and maybe (if you're really lucky) let you pet it but this wasn't a tame cat you pick up. Relentless effort and patience became Rick's best tools when trying to crack through the tough shell that is Daryl Dixon.

"I already sorted everythin'. It's all handled." The conversation died between them uncomfortably. Rick brought one of the hydrangeas to his nose it smelled like a world lost to him now. A world where he could just go to the store and buy flowers easily. Rick realized with sadness that he didn't take any time to notice things like flowers and beauty anymore. Hershel had mentioned on the farm that taking moments to pause and reflect on the world around him was important. Rick had already started to shut that part of his mind down. No time for beauty when everything could go to hell so quickly.

Rick noticed that Daryl was watching him from the corner of his eye. "Where did you find them?" He asked Daryl. Rick didn't have to ask if Daryl had gotten them for him or not. It was obvious by the way the hunter was staring at him interacting with the flowers. He was a little too interested. The way Daryl watched him reminded Rick of a teenager giving a gift to his girlfriend for the first time.

Rick knew how Daryl had brought Carol a rose to lift her spirits after Sophia's disappearance. Daryl even knew the story behind the flower. It was one of the worse kept secrets on the farm at the time besides Maggie and Glenn hooking up of course. And if Rick was completely honest Daryl was the only one who considered giving gifts still something they all deserved from time to time.

"Around." Daryl grunted.

"Well thank you." Rick smiled at him. "Do they mean anything? Do you know?" Daryl nodded.

"They mean perseverance in adversity…" Rick almost felt like laughing. Of course Daryl would give him something that means perseverance. "They're also an apology." Daryl ducked his head. He didn't look Rick in the eyes as he spoke. Daryl looked like a dog that had been beaten and was cowering in the corner. It upset Rick deeply to see such a broken look on the man.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… I'm sorry." He mumbled. Daryl looked completely ashamed and unhappy.

"You don't have anything to apologize for." Rick tried to reassure Daryl but that seemed to bother him more.

"Yah I do." Daryl insisted. "For leavin' ya alone." He bit his lip. "And for this." Daryl whispered running one long slender finger against the bandage on Rick's temple. He seemed completely uncomfortable touching Rick but Daryl didn't pull away despite the slight tremor that ran through his body.

"I don't get it." Rick murmured he on the other hand enjoyed the feeling of Daryl touching him. The ache in his head seemed to be lessened with Daryl stroking lightly. It felt like Daryl was treating the wound as if it would break Rick if he touched too hard.

"I was the one who did this to ya." Daryl elaborated.

"Oh. Um..." Rick blinked watching Daryl closely. He still wasn't sure he understood what was going on completely. "Guess I should be glad you didn't shoot me." Daryl's lips perked ever so slightly at his joke.

"I'm sorry." He said sobering almost instantly as he slowly ran the same finger over the bandage.

"It's fine." Rick smiled back. "But um... Could you at least tell me why?" Daryl recoiled at this. His hand flying back to his body quicker than Rick could blink. "Daryl?"

The man looked at him with wide eyes. His eyes had a scared look that didn't fit the hunter at all Rick decided.

"I didn' mean to. I swear. I just…" Daryl sighed and looked down at his hands like they had the answers. "By the time I came to I was miles away. I didn' realize what happened until I got back." Daryl mumbled his explanation. Rick wanted to tell the man that unfortunately his explanation made no sense. But at the same time he knew he was getting more out of Daryl than he normally would be able to. Therefore, he kept quiet as the man struggled with his words.

"Daryl?" Rick asked. The hunter looked up at him. His eyes were guarded like he expected something bad to happen to him. "It's okay. I understand...sort of. But I made it out okay so did you. That's all that matters right now." Rick smiled warmly. Hoping that Daryl realized he held no ill will towards him.

"Yer supposed to say 'do it again and ya best pray I'm dead.'"

"And I would say that because?"

"Cause it's what I told Andrea." He said with a shrug. Rick chuckled.

"Wow no wonder she was always on edge around you."

"She did shoot me in the head, remember?"

"That she did." Rick agreed. He remembered the terror that had shot through his body when Daryl had collapsed in front of him. Rick hadn't said anything to Andrea but he had felt intense rage towards her at that moment. She could have killed him so easily. But that was in the past, Rick reminded himself. He looked back to the hydrangeas. "You said these are for perseverance right?" Rick asked holding the hydrangeas up. Daryl nodded. "Why did you give them to me?"

"'Cause ya were feelin' pretty low after trainin'. Didn' want ya to give up." Daryl scratched the back of his neck. "I know I'm not the best teacher out there but ya really are learnin' a lot. And ya've gotten tons better." Daryl glanced shyly over at Rick.

"Thanks Daryl." He grinned. "Not sure I agree with you but thanks anyway."

* * *

Let me just say when it comes to the meaning of flowers every single site I checked gave different meanings. So if I'm wrong I'm sorry! Let me know and I'll change them. I'm hoping to use the meaning of flowers again so hopefully the site I'm using isn't too far off. (and realized that I'm probably the only one who worries about something like this...) Oh well! Thank you for reading! If you have the time please review. I really am so happy every time I get a review makes my freaking day! Hopefully I'll see everyone in Ch 9. Until next time!


	9. Chapter 9

So quick note there is some slight boy on boy action. (yaoi, slash whichever you prefer) Not enough that I think it needs to be moved up to M rating but I just wanted to let everyone know in case they don't really like that sort of story. Just skip over the parts when Daryl goes to his room to sleep. Otherwise enjoy!

* * *

Daryl had returned to the house in the dead of night. He'd been gone too long. He knew it. But the idea of returning any sooner had almost led him to a panic attack. By the time Daryl returned to his mind the sky was dark and the roads were lit only by the moon and stars. It took longer than he thought it would to return to a stable frame of mind. He doubted that Rick would still be at the house they had been searching, but he couldn't resist the urge to check just in case.

When Daryl reached the house his mind was clear of the haze that panic and terror had created over his mind. It had blocked out all logical thought earlier. He moved directly to the greenhouse. A quick peek inside proved that Rick had left as he thought. Daryl almost left until the familiar copper smell reached his nose. He stepped in and found drops of blood on the ground. He ran a finger through it. Still tacky. The blood was spilt recently. He closed his eyes trying to work through the fog from a few hours ago.

What had caused it? Did he leave Rick alone with walkers? A crunch under his foot pulled Daryl back with a snap.

"Pottery." Daryl mumbled fingering the shard. A flash came back to him. His fingers closing around the lip of a pot. His hand clenching tightly as he swung it around and collided the heavy pot with Rick's head. "Shit. Shit. Shit." Daryl hissed. He hadn't remembered lashing out. The first thing he remembered after entering the green house was being in the woods huddled against a tree shivering uncontrollably. But before that the panic had blocked everything out. He had responded without thinking or realizing what he'd done.

It wasn't the first time Daryl had blacked out and gave into instinct. Though the last time had been when his old man had broken his arm. Daryl came to when Merle had his arms wrapped around Daryl's neck in a tight headlock. Merle's voice screaming his name in his ear. While his father threatened him that he would beat him to death if he didn't stop. Daryl hadn't attacked his father (he would be dead if he had) but his best friend Larry. Daryl woke from his panic and instincts with Larry's blood on his hand. Larry spent a while coughing his teeth onto the floor. Daryl had thought or hoped he had outgrown that. Merle had called it a Dixon thing. Being blinded by blood rage that you just shut down mentally. But Merle's blood rage was always fueled by anger, rage, and violence. Daryl's blood rage on the other hand seemed to be fueled by fear, panic, and terror.

"Gone all 'Hulk smash' on the sheriff did ya boy?" Merle taunted from Daryl's right. "Never thought ya had it in ya."

"Shut up." Daryl growled.

"Gonna make me?" Merle mocked. Daryl shut his eyes waiting a beat before opening them again. There was no taunting around him. Just the sound of his heart beating in his ears. Daryl stood from his crouch, Rick wasn't here. He either went back to the house the group was staying in or he was in trouble. Daryl started to leave before a beam of moonlight hit a blue petal. Blue hydrangeas, he thought touching the petals.

"Perseverance in adversity. It means to keep trying even when things get tough." Daryl's mother had told him. He knew about medicinal plants from his and Merle's adventures. All too often did they need to use the herbs to mend cuts or take the edge off a burn. But the knowledge of flower names and their meaning even the origins of flowers, that knowledge had come from his mother. He could still remember her hoarse voice and stained fingernails as she pointed out different flowers in her books. "Flowers are delicate. They need our protection. Just like the people you give flowers to. Human hearts are delicate like flowers. The only difference is that flowers can survive alone. Humans aren't meant to be alone."

The image of Rick's face after yet another unsuccessful training in the woods came to Daryl's mind. The way the man's eyes looked so defeated. How his whole body seemed to sag with the lack of progress. When Rick felt like he was failing, the man seemed to turn away from his normal confident strong self. Rick pulled away from the whole group out of self-loathing when he felt like he was failing himself and worse the group.

With that image in his mind and his mother's voice ringing in his ears, Daryl grabbed four and sliced through their stems with his knife. As Daryl set them away in his pocket he remembered how Shane told Rick four was his lucky number. Daryl couldn't help but hold onto that superstition. The man did seem to have the devil's luck on his side when it came to surviving the end of the world. He gathered his supplies and marched back to the house. Nothing seemed amiss as he stood in the cellar but still his hand rested on the hilt of knife at his hip as he waited for someone to open the door.

The door opened to Hershel with a shotgun aimed at Daryl. He glared down the barrel. Hershel sighed in relief when he realized it was Daryl.

"Daryl, thank god." Hershel smiled letting Daryl into the house. "We were worried. After Rick came back alone…" He trailed off.

"Rick got back?" Daryl turned quickly on Hershel.

"Yeah a few hours ago actually." Hershel said giving Daryl a once over.

"What are ya lookin' at?" He growled in response to the look the vet was giving him.

"Rick came back with a pretty nasty head wound. I thought for certain you'd be hurt too." Daryl swallowed, how could he explain that the wound came from him hitting Rick in the head. Even thinking about how to say it sounded bad, no matter how he tried to explain it. "Well I'm glad that you're okay." Hershel gave Daryl a quick pat on the shoulder.

"Yeah…" Daryl trailed off. "Where is ever'one?"

"Most of them went to bed. Carol was really worried about you. We all were." Daryl stared at Hershel hard. "Don't give me that look. We were. Rick and Carol wanted to run off and search for you immediately. But Rick's head was pretty bad, he needed to rest. Otherwise I'm sure he would have left to try and find you. Hell I've had to talk Glenn and Maggie down from running off to try and find you before morning too. Managed to get everyone to agree to wait until first light to look. "

"Sorry." Daryl murmured staring at the ground. "Didn' mean to get ever'one all worked up."

"I didn't mean it like that Daryl. Just wanted to let you know the group was concerned for you." Hershel sighed when Daryl didn't look up. "Well you should go tell everyone you're safe." Daryl shifted his foot not really wanting to go up and tell them why he'd been out so long or more specifically why Rick had come back alone and injured. Hershel must have noticed his hesitation. "Or you could let me handle that in the morning. You're probably tired huh?" Daryl shrugged. "Rick brought back the bags maybe sort them then head off for some rest?" He suggested.

"Sure."

"I've got to check on Rick, make sure his wound isn't worse."

"Was it that bad?" Daryl looked up concern written all over his face.

"I've seen worse but he could easily overwork himself and make it really bad. You know how Rick is. Doesn't really know when to stop. Something you two have in common." Hershel smiled warmly.

"Why don' I check on him?" Daryl said quickly as Hershel started up the stairs.

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'll look through this stuff then make sure he's doin' alright. Need to let him know I'm back anyway."

"Well that works for me. I can get to bed myself." Hershel nodded at Daryl before heading upstairs. "See you in the morning." He called softly, Daryl nodded before turning his head to the bags. He set to work unloading the bags, food he put in the food bag and his books he kept in his personal bag. The medicinal herbs he collected he'd deal with later. Most of them needed to be dried or crushed, but he didn't have time for that just yet. With a sigh Daryl started up the stairs to the watch room. He made a quick stop into his room and set the bag of books against the wall for him to go through later. The only room Rick could be in if he was supposed to stay awake. Daryl gave it a quick knock and pushed the door open.

Carl was in one seat. In the other was Rick slumped against the wall. Carl looked up and smiled widely when he saw Daryl.

"Hey. Glad to see you're back."

"Yeah. Glad to be back." Daryl shifted awkwardly until Carl motioned him over. Carl shifted his gaze back towards the window. "How's the watch been?"

"Fine." Carl shrugged. Daryl nodded but turned his attention to Rick. He glanced at Rick not trying to be too obvious. The man had his eyes closed and looked rather peaceful besides the bandages wrapped around his head. It didn't look like his wounds were as bad as Daryl had feared. It also didn't look like his condition had worsened. At least it didn't look like he had any of the obvious signs that Daryl had read about in Hershel's medical books. "He fell asleep a little less than an hour ago, I'd guess." Carl said his eyes on Daryl and his father.

"Has he been okay?" Carl nodded a little uncertainly.

"I think so. Hershel said he wasn't supposed to sleep though." Carl bit his lip nervously.

"Hm… Did he faint or fall asleep?"

"Fell asleep."

"Any seizures or dizziness?" Carl shook his head. "Then I think you're probably okay. Rick's probably just tired." Daryl explained softly, this seemed to make Carl feel better. He smiled brightly at Daryl.

"My dad said training didn't go well." Daryl smiled ruefully.

"It wasn' _that_ bad."

"He acted like it was so bad you never wanted to talk to him again." Carl quirked an eyebrow.

"Nah progress is slow but he's doin' better. It takes time." Daryl clarified. He rubbed his chin. "I've tried to explain to him that he can' rush this."

"My dad isn't usually so impatient." Carl noted.

"This world is so uncertain. Makes being patient difficult." Daryl knew how hard it was for Carl to grow up in this world. There were things he struggled with, socially (not that Daryl could judge.) Lori had once told Carol (who ended up telling Daryl) that she feared her son was growing cold and hateful towards the world. Daryl wasn't certain about that but he didn't doubt that Carl's life before this had been pretty peaceful and adjusting must be hard on someone so young. Hell it was hard on them even as adults.

"But you're patient." Daryl scoffed.

"I ain' patient. I hide my impatience better than most my family. But I'd say I'm only patient when I'm huntin'." Carl looked down.

"You're more patient than Shane was." He whispered. Daryl shrugged.

"Maybe but I know I'm not more patient than yer father. It's just lately that he's impatient."

"I'm worried about him." Carl murmured. "This winter has been hard. Surviving has been hard. What if he can't take it? What if he gets attacked?" Carl's blue eyes looked watery. It was a level of vulnerability that Daryl wasn't used to seeing on Carl. He could almost see the child Carl's age was supposed to reflect in those shimmering blue eyes.

"He'll be fine."

"But-"

"I'll keep him safe." Daryl insisted. "I'll protect him." Carl sniffed.

"Promise?"

"Yeah. I promise." Daryl agreed. He didn't even hesitate. He didn't need to. Daryl had already made the promise to keep Rick safe to himself. All Carl's words did was strengthen his resolve to do that. Rick had so many reasons to live. This was just another reason.

"Thanks Daryl." Carl beamed up at him. The hunter nodded back. Carl sank into his chair and yawned deeply.

"Ya tired?" Carl shrugged.

"I'm okay."

"Get some sleep." Daryl instructed the boy. "I'll keep watch for a while." Carl glanced at his father, looking torn between waking his father up or letting him sleep longer.

"I'll watch him too. Get some sleep, I got this." Carl slowly got out of his seat.

"If you need me come and get me." Daryl nodded as he watched Carl step out the door. The boy looked ready to collapse at any moment, he'd probably been on watch all night. The long watches always felt the hardest. It was part of the reason why Daryl often volunteered to take them. He sighed and moved the chair back. Daryl pressed himself into his favorite seat, inside of the window frame. A habit from his childhood. The habit was twofold, to make himself smaller and to minimize the areas on his body that could be attacked.

Something sharp poked his thigh, Daryl realized it was the flowers. He worked them out of his pocket. Daryl spun them in his hands as he considered what to do with them. He couldn't very well give them to Rick. Not like he did Carol. That just seemed too weird. It gave him too much of a date and a movie feeling. Which was not the point but how do you really give another man flowers? Besides putting them on his grave.

Daryl considered giving them to Carol to deliver to Rick. But as much as he liked Carol she tended to be like Rick in her constant pushing trying to get him better acquainted with the group. He could just put them in the man's bag but there was no telling who would find them first and if whoever found them would get the wrong impression. No, the only choice Daryl had was to give them to Rick himself.

Rick shifted in the corner of Daryl's eyes. He pressed himself more into the wall like he was trying to get comfortable. Daryl bit his lip as he watched the man before him. How to do this and not make it weird. Daryl's mother had the defter touch when it came to things like this. She would know the right way to cheer someone up. She would know how to give Rick the flowers and tell him to keep trying even if it's hard. Merle would just punch Rick until he pulled himself together and stopped whining about how he couldn't hunt or track properly.

Daryl though he didn't have his mother's touch and he doubted Merle's brand of support was really what the officer wanted or needed. Daryl sighed and he thought how easy it would be to just throw them at the man's head and run away. Problem solved Rick gets the flowers and Daryl gets to run away.

"That's right. Be a coward. It's what yer good at." Merle chuckled from the shadows.

"Don' ya ever get tired of botherin' me?" Daryl grumbled under his breath.

"Nah. Yer my little brother. Gotta make sure ya aren' fuckin' ever'thin' up." Merle laughed his throaty laugh that was more of a mocking cough than anything else.

"Thanks." Daryl muttered sarcastically. He rubbed his neck trying to work some of the kinks out. "Screw it." He whispered to himself and set the four hydrangeas down against the officer's lap. At first he worried that Rick would crush them but the man slept peacefully didn't move at all. Unlike Daryl who would toss and turn in the night, Rick hardly moved at all. Sometimes it looked like he was dead he slept with such little movement.

Daryl turned back to the window and kept watch as the officer slept. Things were quiet just the way Daryl liked them. The hours rolled by easily with no movement outside or inside the house. The whole world felt dead. Before things had gone to hell Daryl had to go far into the woods to find this kind of stillness. Even then, a jumbo jet or some other human noise often interrupted it. But this was almost perfect stillness. It felt like the world had frozen in place. The hours of tranquility were broken by Rick's soft groan as he started to wake up. The man stretched much like a cat would after sleeping in the sun all afternoon, Daryl noted.

Rick blinked slowly. Daryl quickly turned back to the window but he kept Rick in his peripheral vision. He watched as the man found the flowers and ran his fingers almost reverently over the petals. Rick acted like he'd never seen flowers before from the way he was treating them. The way he was smiling softly to himself made Daryl's insides quiver slightly with a feeling he wasn't used to and couldn't put a name to. Daryl wasn't certain how much more he could watch of the man's smile so he opened his mouth to speak. The moment he did though Rick jumped a good inch into the air. Exactly like a cat does when startled, Daryl grinned to himself.

When Rick asked where Daryl had been he quickly avoided the subject. Not wanting to tell him he'd hit Rick in the head and then taken off like a child who knew he was going to be scolded for breaking a window. In fact he tried to avoid all conversations with Rick. He was too busy trying to figure out exactly what he could say that would make sense. Hell anything that would make Rick realize he hadn't been in his right mind. That he would never attack Rick on purpose.

But the words just wouldn't come out of his mouth. They were there somewhere lost in his brain but they couldn't seem to get to his mouth for him to say them. However, when Rick asked where he'd gotten the flowers from (how the man knew it was him surprised Daryl more than a little. He thought he would for certain have to explain to Rick that he got the hydrangeas for him.) Daryl realized he couldn't just avoid talking to the other man forever.

When he explained what the flowers meant he looked away from Rick. He didn't want to see the look in Rick's eyes when he admitted what he did to him. Daryl felt the fear of disappointing the people around him rise to his throat. It had been a long time since Daryl had anyone he cared about enough to be worried about how they felt towards him.

He had thought for the longest time his father had beaten the urge to impress the people he cared about, out of him. For a long time he only cared what his father and brother thought of him. But things changed. And no matter how he tried to deny it he did care what Rick and the group thought of him.

The fact that Rick didn't even realize why Daryl was apologizing, really tested his newfound loyalty to the group and especially its leader. When he had first joined the group back at the quarry Daryl would have lied. He never would have considered telling Rick the truth of where his wound came from. Hell back then he wouldn't have cared if he hurt Rick or not.

But things were different now. The major difference? He did care. Now it bothered him to keep a secret from Rick. He knew Rick had kept secrets from the group but that was from his urge to keep them safe. He was trying to protect them with his secrets and lies. Lying to Rick about this didn't help keep him safe. In fact, it might even put him in danger if Rick wasn't aware of what could trigger Daryl's panic attacks. Had Daryl grown as a person? Maybe, he wasn't certain. He did know his brother would probably be less than pleased with the influence the group had on him. But Daryl wasn't his brother. He wasn't the person his brother last saw waiting for him at the quarry as he went with the group into Atlanta.

Taking a deep breath Daryl put his fingers on Rick's temple. The bandaged still felt slightly wet meaning he was probably still bleeding from his wound. Daryl could feel his hands tremble slightly despite his best efforts to keep them still. But he forced himself to do this. Because he had to tell Rick what happened and properly explain himself.

Rick tried to make a joke as Daryl attempted to explain himself. He couldn't tell if the officer was trying to defuse the situation or make the hunter less nervous. Either way he didn't let himself get distracted by the man's words. He apologized. Or as best as he could. Daryl was certain he fumbled through the whole thing but he managed to get something out. Which was more than he normally would be able to do. Rick didn't seem to mind his fumbling or his inadequate apology. He smiled and even thanked Daryl for trying to cheer him up.

In that moment the tension drained from Daryl's shoulders. He felt at ease finally. Rick seemed to be at ease as well. Or at least he wasn't yelling and telling Daryl to leave. (Which in his mind was a pretty good sign.)

"So are we going hunting tomorrow?" Rick asked still playing with the hydrangeas. Daryl glanced at him.

"Do ya wanna? Shouldn' ya rest yer head?" Rick shrugged.

"I'm fine. Hershel overreacts." Daryl snorted at the man's excuse.

"Somehow I doubt he'd agree with ya."

"So you weren't really hurt that bad when you got shot?" Rick countered. Daryl chuckled.

"Fine. If ya wanna go huntin' we'll go." Rick grinned.

"Good. I'm sure I'll do better tomorrow."

"Oh?"

"I've got a gift from you don't I? It's got to be good luck." Rick waved the hydrangeas at Daryl.

"That's really not what they mean. Need a four leaf clover for that."

"Don't care." Rick grinned cheekily at Daryl.

"Fine fine do what ya want with them. Just cause yer hurt I ain' takin' it easy on ya, just so ya know." Daryl pointed his finger at Rick who grinned in response. His eyes twinkled as if challenging Daryl to do his worse. The look alone made Daryl feel better. It meant that Rick was back to his normal self. The confident and strong leader was back where he should be. Daryl wasn't being serious when he said he wouldn't take it easy on his leader. He wouldn't dare push Rick too hard for two reasons, one for fear that he would injure himself more and two because he really didn't want Hershel's wrath coming down on him should Rick's wounds get worse. But it was nice to see the other man rising to his challenge. It was a relief to see.

The pair sat keeping watch for a while until Daryl noticed Rick's eyelids drifting downward almost like he had no control over them.

"Ya should go to bed." Rick shook his head.

"I'm fine." Daryl half grinned to himself, Rick and Carl acted a lot alike when they were trying to push themselves. He couldn't help feel that Carl inherited it from his father. That urge and wiliness to push themselves harder than was necessary.

"Ya need sleep." Rick shook his head again. "If ya don' get sleep then we can' go huntin' tomorrow."

"That's not fair." Rick grumbled.

"I'm not dealin' with ya if ya fall asleep on me. I'll drag a bear over to wake ya up instead." Rick's eyes widened in shock. Daryl grinned. "Now would ya rather take that chance or just play it safe and go to sleep."

"You're mean." Rick sighed standing up. "Fine you win this round Dixon. But the next one is mine."

"Doubt that." Daryl taunted as Rick opened the door.

"I'm glad you're back Daryl. Really I am. Sleep well." Daryl nodded at Rick and waited until he shut the door before sighing heavily. Before Daryl could relax a knock came less than five minutes later.

"Yeah?" He called. The door opened to Maggie who smiled at him.

"Wow you really are back. There was a rumor going around."

"Already? That was fast."

"It's a small group. Rumors don't really have far to travel." She explained before walking to the window. "My dad and Rick said I should take over for you."

"That so?"

"Yeah they said you should get some sleep."

"I'm fine."

"They said you'd say that." Maggie laughed. "My dad said that if you don't go I'm supposed to threaten you with being put on house arrest under my dad's care."

"Bunch of snakes." Maggie grinned.

"So going to move? Or do I have to make you." Daryl quirked an eyebrow to which Maggie put her hands on her hips defiantly. Maggie was tough before they'd moved off the farm and she was even tougher now. Daryl didn't doubt that he would win in a fight against her but he would never hit a woman. Watching his father hit his mother as a child had created that code in Daryl from an early age. Plus he liked Maggie, she was smart and strong. There was no way he'd risk her (or worse her father) hating him because he was too stubborn to leave his post. Daryl sighed and started to move his body out of the window. He cracked his neck before giving Maggie a look of surrender.

"Just so ya know I'm not movin' cause of their threats. I'm doin' it cause I want to."

"Of course." Maggie smiled as she took her seat near the window. "Pleasant dreams Daryl." Daryl rolled his eyes and shut the door. He started to his room, where he pulled the bag of books with him to his bed and set them down where he could look them over. Daryl pulled one out it and realized it was a romance. He hadn't meant to grab that one but maybe the girls would enjoy it. Daryl leafed through it checking it's content.

Despite rumors amongst the group Daryl actually wasn't too picky when it came to books. Most books he read as a child he loved and the few he actually had the time to finish as an adult he also enjoyed. So a romance didn't really bother him as long as it was a good read. This one looked like it was. Sure the normal 'does he love me or not' junk was there but at least the characters were somewhat interesting. The romance scenes were a bit steamer than most of the ones in other books Daryl had come across.

Daryl's eyes skimmed across the page as the 'super handsome and chiseled chested ' male protagonist snuck into the 'large breasted and perky' female protagonist's bed. If Daryl was a girl he supposed he'd be giggling at the scene. But he wasn't and couldn't help but roll his eyes. If someone snuck into his bed they'd get a punch to the face, or worse. Deciding he'd had enough he put the book back into the bag.

Daryl thought about keeping his eyes open in case Maggie wanted to switch out again but the moment he fell against the bed with his back jammed against the wall, Daryl could feel his eyes drifting shut. The knowledge that nothing could get at his back kept him relaxed enough for sleep to sink its claws into his exhausted body.

Less than ten minutes later Daryl heard a noise in his room. He continued breathing normally but shifted his back even further into the wall. Trying to sink into the plaster.

"At least ya can only be attacked from one side." Merle mumbled in his ear. Daryl continued his pretend sleep while slowly subtly shifting one arm under the pillow his head rested on. Keeping his ears, open Daryl slowly worked his hunting knife from its sheath. "Ya sleep with a knife? Little psychotic even by Dixon standards." Merle laughed from the foot of Daryl's bed. He ignored his brother's voice instead trying to focus on the noise in his room. The footsteps were creeping closer to his bed. Daryl gripped the hilt on his hunting knife tightly but kept his face a perfect mask of a man deep in unconscious sleep.

The moment he heard a creak besides his bed he moved swiftly. His left hand which held the knife moved from under the pillow to strike whoever was foolish enough to get close to him. The idea of a walker inside the house sent Daryl's mind spinning with nerves. He moved his right hand to block any snapping jaws or guns that might be pointed at him. But before Daryl could slam his knife home inside the skull of his enemy a strong hand gripped his left wrist twisting enough to make holding his blade practically agonizing. Daryl hissed moving to swipe with a leg to catch them in the ribs.

Another quick twist on his left wrist and a shoulder to his chest had Daryl reeling backwards onto the bed. Daryl struggled to kick his legs into the chest of whoever held him down simultaneously trying to rip his left arm free so he could swipe with his knife right into his attackers eyes. This wasn't the first time Daryl had been held down by someone bigger than him. However, the last time had ended with Daryl bloody and broken, nearly dead on his bed.

"Relax." A whisper hissed near his ear. Daryl's normal response whenever anyone told him to relax was to fight more. His father used to say that if he relaxed it wouldn't hurt as much. When in reality it didn't matter if he fought or didn't. He would end up as badly injured either way. But this voice had Daryl going almost limp.

"Rick?!" He growled angrily. The shadows over the moon retreated slightly allowing enough light for Daryl to see it was indeed the officer holding his wrist keeping the blade away from his face. At the same time Rick was pinning Daryl's legs down with his own long limbs. "Let me go!" Daryl struggled to break out of the man's grip.

"Are you going to stab me if I do?" Rick asked his eyes falling to the blade of the knife that was waving dangerously between them as Daryl tried to break free.

"Only if ya don' let me go right now!" Daryl hissed in Rick's face. Rick's blue eyes shown with what looked like amusement. As if he enjoyed seeing Daryl struggle under him, Daryl himself didn't find it the least bit funny. Had Rick not caught his hand there was no doubt in Daryl's mind he would have killed the man. Not on purpose of course but from his fears of being attacked in his sleep. A fear that came from his childhood that this world only nurtured and festered inside of him. Rick smiled slightly his eyes twinkling in the moonlight. He slowly released Daryl's hand, but only after he pressed his knees hard against Daryl's legs keeping them trapped so he couldn't possibly buck Rick off.

Daryl glared daggers at Rick and rubbed his aching wrist. He'd pulled too hard trying to break free and the skin felt tender and raw. But Daryl had the good sense to put his knife back into its sheath under his pillow before he moved to yell at Rick. "What the hell were ya thinkin'? I coulda killed ya!" Rick continued to smile down at Daryl. His eyes watching the anger dance throughout the hunter's body. "Ya should know better than to attack a man while he's sleepin'!"

"I couldn't help myself." Rick whispered shrugging slightly.

"Are ya stupid?! Don' do somethin' that dumb again!" Daryl snarled his eyes slits as he scowled at Rick.

"I'm sorry." Rick was suddenly at his ear again breathing his words into Daryl's ear. Daryl felt his whole body go rigid at the feeling. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Ya didn' scare me." Daryl bristled under Rick's words.

"Then why did you have a knife?" Rick asked his hand slowly moving down Daryl's left arm until it reached his wrist. Rick gently took his hand and started to run slow careful circles around Daryl's tender wrist. He seemed to be trying to rub the pain away. Daryl shivered slightly under Rick's ministrations. It sent a tickle up his spine he wasn't used to. In fact, if he was willing to be honest it felt kinda good. But only a little. And only because his wrist hurt, he convinced himself.

"I always sleep with a knife." Daryl murmured after he realized he'd been quiet for sometime as he'd gotten lost in the feeling of Rick soothing the aches away.

"Always?" Rick whispered moving his hand to run over Daryl's palm. Slowly moving over the calluses and scars that littered the skin. Daryl's hands had always been an extremely sensitive part of his body and it felt like there was a fire burning through his hands as Rick worked his way over the palm onto the back of his hand. "Isn't that dangerous?" Daryl grunted.

"I don' keep it out of its sheath. I just don' like the idea of somethin' happenin' and me bein' unable to fight back."

"Hm…" Rick mumbled his mouth dangerously close to Daryl's throat. Daryl felt his pulse spike in response. Rick shifted his knees slightly allowing Daryl to extend his cramped legs out. But Rick didn't stop there he rested his body so half of it was on the bed while the other half was on top of Daryl. The heat and pressure of the other man's body sent a flash of heat throughout Daryl's body.

"Um…Rick? Wanna get off now?" Daryl tried to keep the quiver out of his voice. Even though his legs were trembling slightly as the man continued to run his hands over Daryl's arms, stroking each scar tenderly like they were precious pieces of glass that would shatter Daryl into a thousand fragments if they were handled the wrong way.

"Get off? Well I suppose I could but I need a bit of foreplay first." Rick smiled squeezing Daryl's hand tightly with his own. There was a mischievous look to his eyes that made Daryl try to remember what he had said only moments ago. For some reason he was having trouble thinking straight. Daryl could barely hear outside of his heart pounding in his ears. It hit him with a smash of color to his cheeks, he almost wanted to bash his head against the wall at the realization.

"No! I didn' mean it like that!" Daryl tried to explain. He knew for certain his voice was starting to shake with nerves.

"Oh? And how did you mean it?" Rick practically purred in Daryl's ear.

"I mean yer on top of… wait no…not that!" Daryl flushed deeper as Rick's smile grew wider and wider. "I mean just stop touchin' me like that." Daryl tried to shy away from Rick's hands as they started to reach for his shoulders again.

"Is there a certain way you want to be touched?" Rick asked huskily. Daryl couldn't find his voice to respond. His face felt hotter than the goddamn Sahara. "Speechless huh? That's okay." Rick grinned gripping Daryl's shoulders and rubbing small circles in them. "We can make a game of it. I guess and try to find where you _really_ want to be touched." Daryl's eyes half rolled up into his head at Rick's low voice. "Something like this?" Rick breathed out slowly against his neck. Daryl jumped slightly at the sensation it was almost too overestimating for him. "Or maybe that's not good enough. I bet this is better." Rick's tongue slowly dragged a careful line down the pounding pulse point on Daryl's neck.

Daryl bit his lip to stop a whimper from escaping his lips as Rick kissed at the junction between neck and shoulder. "Maybe you like it a little rougher?" Rick asked biting sharply on Daryl's throat. Daryl hissed as his hips bucked upwards against Rick. Rick pressed his right hand against Daryl's hips holding him steady and firmly against the bed. "This is a game remember? Can't give me too many hints." Rick ran his fingers over the hunter's hipbone lazily watching as Daryl's cheeks grew flushed again. Daryl knew he should be pulling away. He should be shoving Rick off him but his mind wasn't really keeping up with the actions going on around it anymore. It had been a long time since anyone had touched him intimately. It had been a good few years since he'd had time to even think about relationships, physical or otherwise.

That sort of thing left his defenses against the man's technique lower than normal. Daryl knew that normally he'd punch anyone who touched him like Rick was. Hell he'd punch them in the jaw and probably stomp on their balls a few times. But this was Rick, they had trust between them. Daryl's dislike of being touched came from the lack of trust and fears from his childhood. But he could trust Rick, surely a few moments remembering what it felt like to have someone actually care for him, couldn't hurt. His mind worked desperately to rationalize the situation to figure out a way for him to be okay with this tomorrow when Rick realized what a mistake he made and how he never wanted to talk to Daryl again.

Daryl's mind started steeling itself for the eventual blow back. But his body was already gone. Enjoying the feeling of having someone's hands on him. The knowledge that just for one moment he mattered to someone. Rick was obviously just trying to get back at him for nearly stabbing him in the throat. He was just doing this to get a rise out of Daryl. Like a joke only without a fake snake and more tongue and touching, Daryl realized. But that realization sent a cold ball of dread and grief flying to the pit of his stomach. Suddenly Daryl's head started to clear. Enough that he heard Rick's next word's perfectly.

"Or maybe you want a new piece to add to the collection." Daryl's eyes shot open at Rick's words. Rick's smile looked strange, he realized belatedly. Almost lopsided like the man had forgotten how to smile and his smile was instead being held up by staples and glue. Rick's eyes no longer had an amused look instead they looked crazed almost deranged and detached.

"Rick?" Daryl whispered. His heart started pounding in his chest for a completely different reason than before. A cold sheen of sweat broke out over Daryl's body. Things didn't seem right. Like going to see a romantic comedy that has a twist ending with psycho serial killer who had a real love of dressing up like his dead mother. Rick leaned back until he was bathed in shadows. But despite the weight being lifted off of his chest, Daryl felt like he couldn't breathe.

There was a cracking sound from above Daryl right in the shadows where Rick was sitting up. It sounded like the man was twisting his head all the way around. The sound was like the sinewy broken sound that comes from snapping a limb. Daryl's instincts were screaming at him to run but his body refused to move.

Suddenly Rick leaned over him again. He gathered Daryl's hands together and squeezed them into one of his large hands. Daryl tried to twist his hands as the bones pressed together painfully. He tried to pull them away from Rick but the man squeezed his hands tighter in warning. Rick pressed Daryl's hands up above his head at an uncomfortably high angle. With his free hand, Rick reached under the pillow and pulled out the hunting knife. The blade glittered off of Rick's eyes which seemed too dark to belong to the officer.

"Let's give ya a new masterpiece to go along with yer collection. After all yer body is a work of art. A monument to the sin of the Dixon blood." Daryl's eyes widened. He realized too late. It wasn't Rick holding the knife it was his father. Daryl's mouth opened to scream but his father was quicker. He brought the knife down hard against his son's throat. The scream silenced as blood started to oozed and cascade down his throat.

Daryl's body shot up like a bullet from a gun. His eyes roving around the room. Searching for his father. His hands reached for his neck, no blood and no wound. Daryl trembled as he pulled his knees up to his chest. His heart was pounding and he couldn't seem to breathe right.

"Just a dream." He muttered hoping the sound of his own voice would force the fear away. "He's dead. He's dead." Daryl whispered over and over as the night wore on. By morning Daryl hadn't dared to sleep again. His lips moving over the words 'he's dead' like it was necessary piece of his sanity. With the first touches of light hitting his window Daryl had lost his voice and could only mouth 'he's dead.'

Before the group woke up, Daryl had gotten dressed, tore the book he'd gotten last night apart and burned it in the fireplace. As he watched the smoke Daryl struggled to even remember the full nightmare from the night before. He rubbed his sore neck and decided that if he forgot, it was probably for the best. Judging by how the nightmare ended, he wasn't certain he wanted to know how it started. Daryl whispered, "he's dead" one final time before going to join the group for breakfast. It was a new day and he wouldn't let a stupid dream stop him from doing his responsibilities for the group.

* * *

I need to stop going on vacation. That's all I've really found out. Because I kept trying to post this chapter but the places I went to didn't have internet. (bummer) But the good news is I was able to work a lot on the story during a layover which is nice. I hope there are people out there still reading. I know it's been a while. I'm sorry about that. I started school again today but I'm still intending to write this but it might not be as often. (because I've totally been keeping to my once a week like I had hoped I would...fail.) Just a heads up.

Moving away from boring stuff I hope everyone like the "romance" scene...aka the tease scene. Let me know what you guys think. It's been a real long time since I've written anything close to smut so I'm pretty rusty. I'm hoping it worked out okay. I'd love to hear what people thought. I also tried to go over some of what happened in chapter 8 without doing the whole scene word for word (sometimes that gets real old if you ask me.) Anyway like always read and review if you have the chance. Everyone's comments while I was working made me so happy, I kept looking over them while saying "have to give some sort of a romance scene even if it's only a tease one." Hopefully everyone realizes it means the idea is taking root in their minds! Anyway hopefully I'll see you all in the next chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

Daryl still felt groggy as he and Rick moved through the woods checking the traps they had set the day before. It like his mind was still half asleep even though his body had been awake for hours. The air was still cold and felt slightly frosted but nothing he wasn't used to. Even Rick didn't seem too bothered by the weather. But maybe that was because he'd managed to escape from Hershel keeping him at the house all day. The white bandages were still visible under the man's hairline but they were clean and the wound had clotted during the night. Leaving Hershel with no choice but to give Rick a clean bill of health.

"Not much in the traps, is there?" Rick asked after a moment. His eyes watching Daryl closely as he checked each one thoroughly.

"Nah. Doesn' look like it."

"Too bad." Rick sighed.

They traveled deeper into the woods moving quietly to not startle any game along the way. After the third trap came up empty, Rick seemed to decide it was time to talk. He moved to Daryl's side and grinned at him with a mischievous look in his blue eyes.

"Almost feels like we're going on a date. You gave me the flowers yesterday and now we're alone on a romantic walk through the woods." Rick said with a chuckle. Daryl's cheeks flushed and he stumbled almost tripping over his own feet.

"What?!" His heart rate spiked at the man's words. Something about last night's dream almost reached back into Daryl's mind. Almost but he shoved it away, not wanting to get distracted by nightmares again. There wasn't time to get distracted right now.

"Relax I was kidding." Rick grinned. "You need to lighten up. You're always so serious Daryl." Daryl grunted and tried to calm the pounding in his chest and the fire that burned through his body. "What did you do for fun before all this?"

"'Bout the same actually." Daryl mumbled with a shrug. "Huntin' and survivin'."

"You didn't work?" Rick asked coming to a stop so he could better look at Daryl.

"Nah I did. Just nothing as impressive as being an officer of the law." Daryl came to a stop too. He scuffed the toes of his boots into the dirt. He glanced over at Rick. "It was mostly manual labor stuff or short term jobs. Sometimes I'd fix cars or bikes. Preferred workin' on bikes." Rick nodded leaning against a tree. "Even worked as a bartender for a little while."

"Really?" Rick seemed genuinely surprised.

"Nothin' like yer thinkin'." Daryl smirked. "It was a pretty shitty bar. Same one my brother and his gang went to all the time. Figured if I worked there, I could keep an eye on him. Maybe keep him out of trouble." Daryl scratched his neck. "Though lookin' back on it he got me into more trouble than I could keep him out of."

"That's still work though. What did you do for fun? To relax?" Rick pressed. Daryl shrugged. "Did you go dancing?" Daryl snorted at that idea. He wouldn't be caught dead on a dance floor. "Shop?" Kinda need money to shop, Daryl thought. "Date?" Rick asked softly. Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat. Rick was watching him so closely it made the hunter's skin itch. The space between them seemed to collapse to only a few inches. It had been a long long time since Daryl had dated anyone. Even before the end of the world. He just didn't have the time or skills to really get anyone interested in dating him. The few relationships he had tended to end badly for him.

"Sure every once in a while. Not often. Wasn' really my thin' you know?" He explained quickly, hoping Rick would move on as quickly as he spoke. He didn't want to admit that it had been a few good years since he'd seriously dated anyone. It was a stupid ego thing. He knew it but still the idea of letting Rick know how long it had been since he'd been laid was almost too embarrassing for him. Rick nodded.

"Yeah I've never been very good with that stuff either." Rick admitted as he scratched his bandages. "I dated maybe four girls before marrying Lori." Daryl gave him an odd look. "What?"

"Nothin' just always thought you dated lots of women. You seem the type." Rick scoffed

"I could say the same about you." He gave Daryl a pointed look.

"Nah Merle's good with women gives them honeyed lines and all that. Me, I get tongue tied and shit. Don' get the whole romance thin'. Huntin' always came easier to me than talkin'. Even as a child, I had a hard time talkin' to other kids. Reason why I had a hard time makin' friends. Somethin' I never really outgrew I guess." He shrugged.

"So you preferred being alone in the woods?"

"Yeah." Daryl chuckled. "In fact Merle used to say that if I wasn' any good with people than I shouldn' try and instead do what I'm good at and stay in the woods huntin'."

"Hm." Rick murmured looking at Daryl hard with his bright blue eyes. He seemed to be searching for an answer in Daryl's eyes. "It's an interesting idea, I'm just not sure I agree. If you aren't good with being around people the only way to change that is to be around them. You can't get good at something if you don't give yourself the chance to fail at it first."

"Hrn." Daryl grunted. He'd never thought of it that way. His father and Merle had always said that if he was such a failure he shouldn't even bother trying to get better at something. Merle was a little more tolerant of his failures than his father was. But failure wasn't something the Dixon's responded well to. Daryl was no exception.

Maybe that was why things felt different with the group. He was able to fail around them and learn from those failures. He wasn't on the same level as the group but they were willing to let him pretend he was for a little while. By being around them he was slowly learning what it meant to be a part of something bigger. To have people to rely on and people you wanted to protect.

Daryl wasn't sure how he felt about the way the group was starting to take up such a large place in his head and heart but he couldn't deny that he cared about them and their wellbeing. Merle would tell him the group was making him weak, and maybe he would be right. But Daryl was starting to enjoy having people around him (only a little though.) He started to like feeling like the group could rely on him and trust him to get the job done.

But more than that he liked that Rick trusted him. That if he needed help with something it was Daryl he turned to. Back on the farm it had always been Shane, (even though Shane was a traitorous backstabber, anyone who really watched him could see it) that Rick had at his side. But after Dale's death Rick started to rely more on Daryl than Shane. The hunter didn't tell anyone (especially not Rick) but he enjoyed that feeling. That he was trustworthy, more than Shane at least. It was a sense of worth that Daryl couldn't really associate with himself.

Because when it came down to it Daryl didn't have the same worth that the rest of the group did. But he proved his worth to Rick with the torture of Randall and the mercy killing of Dale. Hell if Rick had asked, he would have killed Randall himself. Save the man the trouble. But unlike Shane Daryl was willing to follow Rick's plan until the end. That, Daryl realized was the true difference between Shane and himself. Shane wanted to be in charge. Daryl didn't, he trusted Rick and knew he would do his best for the group. Shane… Shane was only in it for himself.

"Look Daryl I don't know if I'm overstepping any lines but sometimes the only way we grow is by figuring out the path we want to take by ourselves." Rick smiled slightly. "Despite their best intentions sometimes our families don't always know what's best for us." Daryl stared at Rick. He wanted to tell the man he clearly had never met his family. The Dixon family was only in it for themselves. The only one Daryl could ever trust was Merle. He was there for Daryl when he could be.

"Blood is blood." Merle whispered at the edge of his brain. "Blood can only ever count on blood."

"Well it's just my opinion." Rick shrugged and pushed off the tree he was leaning against. "Let's go." Daryl nodded and followed behind Rick. His mind still occupied with everything that had been said. It spun around in Daryl's head as he trailed after Rick.

"Hey Rick?" Daryl called to the officer who stopped and looked behind him.

"Yeah?"

"Well I was wonderin'-" Daryl started, he tried to get the words out of his mouth but they wouldn't come, he sighed. This wasn't important, he reminded himself. "Doesn' matter." He grumbled pushing past Rick.

"Hey! Wait!" Rick called loudly. He raced to catch up with Daryl as he stomped away purposely. "Daryl! Wait! What were you going to say?"

"Nothin'." Daryl growled. He tried to get free from Rick's piercing gaze by moving faster through the forest.

"No you were clearly going to say something, what was it?"

"Doesn' matter. Drop it!" Daryl pushed Rick away from him. Rick landed hard against the tree behind him.

"What the hell Daryl?!" Rick growled.

"Look let's just-" Daryl's eyes widened as he jumped forward. He shifted his body and shoved his left shoulder into Rick's chest sending him sprawling to the ground. At the same time Daryl struggled to shrug his crossbow off. He managed to get it halfway off before he moved to block the walker snarling and biting at Daryl. It was a big one. Larger than most they'd seen in a while. It was a head taller than Daryl and at least two hundred pounds behind the ravenous teeth and mouth. Daryl grunted trying to get the walker off him. It kept snapping hungrily at him, as it tried to get around the blockade he'd created with the butt of his crossbow. Daryl's legs struggled as he started shifting backwards under the weight above him.

The walker tried to claw at his stomach forcing the hunter to take several steps backwards. With a growl, the walker shoved its body against Daryl's. He tried to take another step back but the leaves on the ground shifted under his boot. Daryl found himself tumbling to the ground with the hungry walker on top of him. "Shit." He hissed barely brining his crossbow up in time to shield his face from the putrid dripping jaws.

Daryl braced his bow with his right arm while searching for his knife with the other. The walker pressed in on Daryl, shoving him into the soft ground. Daryl's hand kept missing the hilt of his knife as he struggled to keep some sort of a barrier between him and the walker. The beast managed to shift Daryl's crossbow enough so that it could reach his throat. Daryl hissed when a drop of drool splattered against his throat. The teeth were snapping and inching closer. Daryl couldn't believe it would end like this. Being killed by one goddamn walker all because he got lost in his head. Trying to figure out where he stood in the world. How he fit in the group. To think that stupid chain of thought would lead to his death. Daryl shut his eyes.

"Dixon's are supposed to die in a blaze of glory." His father had told him before he could walk like his own personal bedtime story. Daryl continued to try and reach his blade in a vain hope of being able to save himself. His fingers grasped nothing but air.

A boom roared over Daryl's head. The walker went limp and collapsed on top of Daryl. The smell of putrid dead flesh and blackened blood rushed to Daryl's nose. Almost making him sick by the sheer force of the smell.

"Daryl!" Rick's frantic voice yelled from somewhere behind him. Daryl shoved the walker off him and gave it a swift kick as he stood up.

"Son of a bitch!" He hissed feeling the ribs collapse under his boot when he kicked it a second time.

"Daryl!" Rick panted. "Oh god are you alright?" Rick's eyes were huge and watery as he looked Daryl over. Daryl however was searching the woods. His ears were still ringing from the explosive sound of a gun firing so close to his head. He couldn't see any walkers but his nose and ears were nearly useless from such a close encounter with the giant walker. "I'm sorry! I didn't notice it soon enough!" Daryl shook his head and grabbed Rick's arm.

"Come on we gotta get back. We're too close to the house. Could have drawn more of them. It's not safe here anymore." Rick got very pale as he nodded. The pair sprinted back to the house and smashed their hands on the door. They didn't even need to say anything, the group could see the panic in the two men's eyes. It was a whirlwind of activity as the group grabbed everything they could carry. Daryl turned his eyes towards the staircase where his bag of books were stashed in his room. Daryl growled under his breath and grabbed the food bag and weapon bag that was by the door instead. He wouldn't put the whole group at risk because he wanted to save a few books. That was the promise he'd made to himself and he wasn't about to break it.

Carol stumbled after Daryl carrying too many bags for her slender frame. He helped push her and her load through the door.

"Quick, get in the car." Daryl growled tossing her the bags to put in the truck, while he grabbed some from Carl. Everyone moved quickly handing each other bags and running to the cars. Daryl was about to lead the group out on Merle's bike. He had almost started the triumph when Rick rushed out the cellar door. In all the chaos Daryl hadn't even noticed that the man was missing. If there was time he would allow himself to feel disgusted that he didn't even check for his leader. After his oath and everything. The dangers however were pressing in and there was no time to think about anything else. Daryl started the triumph and pushed off leading the group as far away as they could get.

He drove for a few miles. Away from the neighborhoods that they had already gone through, over the last few months. The wind whipping across his body as he lead the caravan. Daryl zigzagged from neighborhood to neighborhood. He realized with horror that several of the streets were starting to clog with walkers. More than once he had to make a quick turn to lead the others away from the walkers before they traveled too deep into the streets.

Finally Daryl saw a sign for a camp site several miles away from any of the areas they'd been to in the last few months. He pushed his bike towards the road and the caravan followed closely behind him. He went slowly to make sure there were no walkers but he didn't see or hear any. In fact the whole place felt totally deserted as they moved further into the camp ground. Daryl didn't stop at the first site and instead drove towards the end of the grounds deciding it was removed from the main road in case there were survivors around and the back exit was closer as a secondary escape should they need it.

He noted a large outcrop looking over the forest floor that could probably serve as a look out post should they need more than one during the night. The cars filed in behind him. They all parked where they could easily escape if they needed to. Everyone hopped out of their cars and looked around the campground. Each face looked weary and nervous of this new place. It wasn't as nice as the last few houses they'd been in but it wasn't nearly as bad as that attic or the sewer.

Daryl got off his bike and started to unload his supplies where he could check over what he'd managed to get from the house. Everyone seemed to be doing similar actions. Everyone but Lori and Rick that is. Rick had gotten out of the car and his wife started in on him almost immediately. Daryl couldn't help but feel sorry for the other man.

"Rick why didn't you leave with me?" Lori asked. She was obviously trying to keep the conversation between her and Rick. Unfortunately the woman had no idea how loud her voice got when she was upset. Rick was leaning against the car but he didn't seem at all concerned with his wife in front of him. "What if you got left behind?!"

"It didn't happen, so why worry about it?" Rick responded nonchalantly.

"But why did you go back?" She screeched at him. Her eyes had that slightly insane look, they sometime got when she was mad.

"I had to get something." He dismissed. Rick looked up and his eyes caught Daryl's. A smile formed on his lips as he stared at the hunter. Realizing he'd been caught staring Daryl tried to busy himself with cleaning his arrows.

"Rick! I want to talk about this!" Rick sighed heavily in response.

"Why? What's done is done. There's no point in talking about it." The leader pushed off the car and slung his bag over his shoulder.

"Rick!" Lori hissed as she started to follow him. Rick strode purposely to Daryl and stood above him. Daryl glanced up showing he was listening.

"Want to go scouting with me? Make sure the area is secure?" Daryl blinked, Rick's face was carefully neutral but still something seemed off. Especially considering how they never really scouted out a place unless they were planning to stay for more than a day. The campsite was pretty far removed so Daryl couldn't tell what the other man was thinking. But he saw Lori glaring at Rick's back and Daryl had pretty much figured out what the man was thinking.

"Ya sure ya wanna do that?" Daryl questioned softly. He didn't think Lori would really appreciate Rick leaving in the middle of their conversation, if you could call it that.

"I could go alone if you would like." Rick's eyes sparkled at him, clearly challenging him.

"Nah I'll come." Daryl sighed heaving himself up. He pulled his crossbow on and led the way out of their temporary camp. The whole time he could feel Lori's heated gaze on their retreating figures. They walked in silence until Daryl couldn't hear the noise from the camp anymore. He didn't really want anyone (Lori especially) to overhear him when he asked Rick why he decided they had to get away from the camp so suddenly. "So…" Daryl started as he slowed their pace.

"Let's keep going until we get to that overlook that we passed on the way in." Rick said redirecting them to keep going. Daryl shrugged and continued their march onward. The outcropping looked down towards the road they used to reach the campground. It would be the perfect lookout if it didn't take so long to go between the two. Rick plopped down on the edge turning his head to watch the slowly setting sun. Daryl however checked the forest from their vantage point. He couldn't see, hear, or smell anything out of the ordinary but the campsite was on more of a hill than he'd initially realized. They wouldn't be able to light the main campfire tonight. It would be a cold long night that everyone might just end up sleeping in their cars, Daryl thought. "You can relax." Rick called from the ground.

"That's funny considerin' how we just barely got out of there." Daryl rolled his eyes at his leader. Rick sighed.

"We got out didn't we? Don't tell me how mad you are too."

"I'm not mad."

"But you aren't looking at me either." Daryl sighed and turned to face his leader. Rick smiled and patted the ground next to him. Daryl plunked down and cracked some of the tension out of his muscles. Rick kept glancing at Daryl as he twitched with nerves, which only made him twitch more. "I got something for you." Rick said pulling his bag closer. He set it between them. Daryl opened the top and peered inside. Looking up at him were books. _His _books. "I'm not sure I got them all." Daryl pulled one out and rapturously ran his fingers over the spine. "But I grabbed as many as I could. Lucky you hadn't really unpacked many of them." Rick smiled at the hunter's shocked expression.

"Is this why ya were late getting' in the car?" Daryl whispered. Rick nodded. "Ya risked yer life for books?" Daryl gasped which Rick returned with a puzzled look.

"A few seconds doesn't really matter."

"It does! If ya had died gettin' these!" Daryl gestured to the bag. "That woulda kill us! It woulda killed me!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. But I had to get them."

"Ya don' look very apologetic." Rick glared stubbornly ahead. Daryl sighed realizing he'd upset the man. "Thanks for getting' them." Daryl whispered to which Rick brightened considerably. He grinned at Daryl openly as he looked at the hunter. "Though don' do anythin' so reckless again." Rick shrugged.

"No promises."

"Are ya tryin' to make my job harder?"

"Got to give you some reason to stay close to me." Daryl blushed at his words.

"Not goin' anywhere." He mumbled. "Why'd ya get them anyway?" Daryl shifted the subject before Rick could make a big deal on his words.

"Because they're yours." Daryl snorted.

"Seems like a stupid reason to go back for them."

"Haven't you ever done something because it mattered to someone else? Because you wanted to help someone even if it didn't gain you anything?" Daryl didn't respond and instead stared off into the orange and pink on the horizon. The sun starting to dip under the trees. "You helped us." Rick sighed.

"What?"

"In Atlanta, at the farm, this winter. You've helped this group out lots of times. Even though there wasn't anything in it for you. You put yourself in danger countless times to help the group. Don't act like you don't remember." Daryl shrugged.

"I think ya are over exaggeratin' my actions. I just do the stuff that needs to be done." Rick smiled softly, his eyes gentle as he stared at Daryl. He rested his cheek on his hand as he continued to talk to him.

"That's something I've always liked about you." Daryl quirked an eyebrow. "You don't do things with ulterior motives. So many people only do things with thoughts of how it will benefit them. How they can gain from the favors they do for others. But that's not the kind of man you are."

"My family would be disgusted to hear ya describe me like that." Daryl mumbled.

"I imagine your family would fit in this world very well." Daryl shrugged.

"Maybe."

"It's not a bad thing to help people in need you know."

"I don' think we can trust anyone who needs help anymore." Daryl bit his lip.

"Then you're ready to cut off anyone who needs help?" Rick seemed a little shocked by Daryl's blunt words.

"Don' know, maybe?" Daryl shifted his legs. "Remember Randall? His group probably needed help with food and such. But they also woulda killed us to get our supplies." Rick sighed. He closed his eyes, looking troubled and weary of the world.

"I know that things are different." Rick mumbled as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "That the next group we come across could very well want to kill us. But what if we can get along? What if we assume we can't work out an agreement and kill them only to find out we judged them wrong and could have gotten along? Wouldn't more people make our group stronger?" Daryl shrugged when Rick's blue eyes peeked up at him.

"Depends. Someone could be an asset but at the same time they could be a drain on resources."

Shane said it all comes down to math. That the individual members of the group only matter as long as they don't drag the rest of us down. It seemed so cruel and sociopathic to me at the time. But maybe he was right. Maybe he realized the reality of this world sooner." Rick's eyes were hollow and his body looked defeated.

"Ya shouldn' think like that." Rick turned his gaze to Daryl. There was a small spark of hope in his eyes. "Instead of how someone is costin' supplies ya should come up with solutions for providin' enough for ever'one. That kind of thinkin' cuts ya off from ever'one. I'd rather work harder than start decidin' who in our group doesn' fit the equation." Rick smiled.

"Yeah, I agree. I just…" Rick sighed. "Needed to hear you say it." Daryl gave a half smirk to Rick.

"Weirdo." He dug through his bags of books looking for one in particular. "Here maybe this will help ya." He handed the book to Rick.

"The success principles? Thanks." Rick rolled his eyes.

"Might help ya." Daryl chuckled.

"Wish I'd left this one behind." Rick grinned back.

"No way! How could ya know how to brin' positivity into yer life?"

"Well according to this I need to build and maintain relationships even if I don't have world class relationship skills." Rick said flipping through the book.

"That's the ticket. Wonder if we can think positively and will those walkers away." Rick chuckled.

"That's what this world needs, a self-help book that teaches you how to get rid of walkers."

"Sounds more like a bullet to me."

"Yeah well I'm glad that this gem will stay safe in your hands regardless." Rick handed the book back to Daryl.

"Yeah… me too. Thank you again." Daryl whispered. Rick nodded.

"I told they're yours. Which means they matter to me."

"Ha why? Cause I matter to you? Cause ya have a crush on me?" Daryl joked grinning at Rick. When the silence continued Daryl's smile faltered. Rick wasn't looking at him. Instead he was busying himself by playing with rocks on the ground. "Ya don' right?" Daryl chuckled halfheartedly.

"What do you care if I do or don't?" Rick mumbled. "Is it so hard to believe that I care about you?" Rick spat out.

"Um a little?" Daryl felt his face flush. "I mean we've known each other for less than a year." Daryl tried to explain the stupidity of caring about him, about a Dixon. Nothing good ever came to people who cared for Dixon's.

"So? That doesn't matter. Time doesn't matter when you care about people. Time just makes you care more about the people close to you." Rick turned his intense powerful blue gaze onto Daryl. "Do you not consider us friends? I mean don't you get worried about the group's safety?"

"Sure." Daryl nodded.

"Then why is it so hard for you to believe that we care for you in return? That I care about you?" Rick sighed his whole body sagging. "When I saw that walker on you… It felt like my heart stopped. That's why I used my gun. Because I couldn't think. I didn't think about the sound or other walkers. All I could see in front of me was you pinned under that walker. I was terrified you were dead or bitten. The thought of you dying…" Rick shook his head. His hands were trembling as he clutched his arms.

"Lucky you were there huh?" Daryl tried to smile to reassure the other man but Rick didn't seem consoled in the least by Daryl's words. "Look I'm okay. We got out alright didn' we?" Rick nodded. "Then there's no reason to beat yerself up." Daryl tried to smile but it fell off as soon as he saw Rick's eyes. They looked different than he'd ever seen them. They were darker not the light sky blue Daryl was used to, it was closer to the sky as night started to fall. More cobalt in color than light blue. Rick stood up suddenly making Daryl jump up in response. The feeling of someone towering over him never sat well with the hunter.

"That walker on you made me realize something. Or rather reminded me that this world is so unstable and uncertain." Rick licked his lips and took a step closer. Daryl held his ground despite the pounding in his heart. His blood was rushing through his body at an accelerated rate. "Daryl I don't know how to say this in a way that makes sense to you." Rick struggled with his words. Uncertainty laced with everything he said. "To be honest I'm not sure how to admit any of this to myself. This whole thing is completely new to me." Rick swallowed heavily.

He couldn't seem to keep his on Daryl. This made the nervous twitches come to Daryl tenfold. He had to exert real effort to keep his limbs from twitching or worse pace while Rick struggled with whatever he was trying to say. Rick took a deep breath and collected himself. "Daryl." He whispered opening his eyes. They were closer to his normal color, Daryl noted.

Rick didn't move his eyes from Daryl's when he reached forward and took the man's right hand with his left. Daryl glanced at their hands as Rick worked his fingers in-between Daryl's The contrast between their hands was almost startling to the hunter. Even after all the hardship of the last year, Rick's hands still felt smooth and were largely unmarred by scars. While Daryl's in contrast were severely calloused from the years of living in harsh conditions. They were equally scared by the painful life he had led, before and after the world's end.

Daryl felt the warmth created between their hands. Normally he thought his hands were too warm, almost burning in their heat but Rick didn't seem to mind at all. In fact the heat seemed to draw him in more. Rick squeezed Daryl's hand with his own. Daryl kept marveling at the differences between the two lives they had both lived. "Does this bother you?" Rick asked softly his eyes watching Daryl closely like he thought there was something to be decoded in his eyes. Daryl shook his head when his mouth refused to open.

Daryl could feel his cheeks burn but he didn't understand why. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion. He could feel each breath he took. Each subconscious squeeze from Rick's hand. Rick inched closer. They were so close Daryl could feel the breath coming from Rick. Daryl inhaled and could smell the scent that was distinctly Rick's.

He smelled like a warm summer day and the clean smell of a river deep in the woods near Daryl's childhood home. The scent was almost overwhelming. Rick smelled like the woods, like a mixture of safety and home. "Daryl?"

"Hm?" Daryl was too busy watching the way Rick's lips moved when he talked to really respond. The way Rick licked the top lip than the bottom one when he was nervous.

"I want you to know that I care about you. So please forgive me for this."

"For what?" Daryl started before he could get the t out of his mouth, his lips were sealed. Rick's hand squeezed tightly as his lips crashed over Daryl's. Daryl felt a full body tingle race through his body like had been struck by a bolt of lightning. His heart pounded and stuttered to a stop all at the same time. Daryl tried to catch up with the flow of time but he seemed out of sync. He didn't even feel connected to his body.

Rick's eyes were pinched shut. Daryl followed his lead and let his eyes drift shut. He let himself drift in the moment as he struggled to catch up. When Rick's right hand found his neck Daryl jumped slightly. His heart felt like it was burning up. He felt like he was burning. But he couldn't say he disliked the burning electric feeling racing through his body.

It had been too long since he felt any kind of physical attention like this and for the moment he was content to just exist in the physical feelings. Not dwelling on the mental or emotional blow back that was sure to follow this moment. He allowed himself to just feel the pressure of Rick's lips on his. The physical tingles that their proximity created in him.

Rick pressed closer, their bodies almost touching. Rick's fingers touched the back of Daryl's neck softly. Slowly moving through his hair. The soft pressure on his neck made Daryl's eyes flutter with a barely restrained moan. Daryl squeezed Rick's hand tightly in response. Not sure what else he could do. Not sure if he should be pulling, Rick closer or shove him away. Rick shifted his mouth to deepen their kiss when Daryl heard Merle's voice yell in his ears.

"You goddamn gay fag!"

"I'm gonna kill you now boy. No place in the Dixon's for an unnatural bitch like ya." His father's fingers dug into his mind. The yells and hisses of his father and brother grew until Daryl couldn't breathe. His eyes snapped open and he shoved Rick back with everything he had. The officer stumbled looking beyond confused and hurt. His blue eyes were flickering with betrayal and anguish.

Daryl's mind felt like it was swimming, like he was drowning and couldn't get enough air. His father's cold fingers wrapped around Daryl's throat and started to crush his windpipe.

"Daryl?" Rick whispered, his hands open trying to show him he meant no harm. Rick's eyes were concerned even scared.

"Him!" Merle hissed. "Kill him!" Daryl couldn't tell if Merle was talking to him or his father. Daryl's only thoughts was that of escape. From his father, brother, and Rick. He stumbled backwards once nearly tripping over his own feet before taking off sprinting as far from Rick as he could get.

"Daryl!" Rick yelled after him. "Daryl come back!" Rick's voice trialed after him. Long after the hunter left the range of the man's voice. Daryl only came to a stop when his muscle felt like they would collapse if he kept running. His body trembled from exhaustion and overexertion.

"Can' go back." Daryl murmured to himself. The voices of his father and brother were still howling in his mind. Until they quieted down he couldn't trust himself around the others. But more than that he didn't want to see Rick. Couldn't. His mind and body were still in major disconnect. Daryl's body was still tingling with the pleasure from physical contact. His mind suffering in misery from the voices of his family. His heart, Daryl didn't know what to focus on in his heart. Confusion, fear, excitement, hope, respect, sadness and so many other struggling emotions all fighting for the spotlight in his emotional breakdown. The whole thing left him feeling fatigued.

Daryl looked at the tree in front of him. A place to rest, to escape he thought, that's what he needed. Daryl quickly clambered up the limbs. By the time he settled he was over twenty feet off the ground. He curled up on the branch hoping the problems on the ground wouldn't follow him. He had no such lucky. The burning question of what had happened left a smoldering fire in his mind. What had suddenly changed between the two of them? More importantly, how did this change fit into Daryl's life now? How did he fit with this change? Could he even fit in some way or another besides Rick? Or was he going to be left behind again, like always?

* * *

So once again sorry this took so long. I've been working on this story during different classes (bad student) but it took longer than I thought it would. Mostly because the kiss scene! Took forever to get it just the way I wanted it. I mean it's been built up for so long I wanted it to really work. Hopefully it did! I'd love to hear what you guys think! Let me know if you enjoyed it!

In other news I don't usually suggest songs for stories (mostly because I feel each reader creates their own tone by their personal preferences towards stories) but I thought I'd at least mention this one because a huge part of this chapter was done while listening to the song. It's Tightrope by Walk the Moon. For some reason this song screams Rick and Daryl. (or maybe that's just me over romanticizing everything again.)

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Review if you have time. And a major thank you to everyone who's reviewed, followed, and added this story to their favorites! Makes my day! In fact that's why I stayed up pretty late to finish this chapter and edit it so it would be out first thing rather than late tomorrow. Anyway see you all next chapter! Thanks again!


	11. Chapter 11

Daryl fell asleep that night with the feeling of Rick's lips on his. The warmth that his hand on Daryl's had created and the cries of the man as he tried to call him back to camp.

Daryl woke up the next morning by someone calling his name from below the tree he'd spent the night in. Daryl had hoped that spending the night away from the group would help clear his mind. Instead, it only seemed to muddle things up more for him. The confusion and frustration had grown in his brain from the night before replacing the excited feelings his body had briefly enjoyed during the moment. The feeling of hurt and rejection lingered in his mind.

Rick would never do something like that to a guy like him. He had a wife and kid for god sake. Thinking that Rick would leave all those great things for _Daryl_ was just stupid (wishful) thinking. This realization left an angry burning in Daryl's chest. He pushed the painful ache of loneliness and longing that his heart shuddered with and instead embraced the Dixon rage. It filled his bones with a feeling he was familiar and comfortable with unlike the sensations from the night before. He let the rage take over and direct him. It was easier than trying to untangle the wound ball that his heart and mind were.

"Daryl? Are you okay?" Carol called up to him. Her eyes bright as she peered the good twenty feet above her head to Daryl's resting place.

"Fine." He mumbled rolling over onto his side. Carol gasped below him at his movement. He realized belatedly that from her point of view it looked like he was less than an inch from plummeting to the ground below him. When in reality he would have an easier time falling out of a bed than he would a tree.

"Did you get stuck up there?"

"What?!" He growled at her. Slightly insulted she would even think that about him.

"You look a little like a cat stuck in a tree." Carol smiled at him. "Do you need me to get a ladder? Maybe a nice fireman could help you down."

"Aren' ya clever." Daryl grumbled. Carol chuckled below him.

"I like to think I am."

"I bet ya do." Daryl rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to come down?" She asked growing serious. Daryl shrugged. He didn't want to get down. Down meant reality. Reality meant having to deal with last night. That meant having to realize that what Rick said…and more importantly did really happened.

That the relationship he thought they shared had shifted. The small sense of worth and value Daryl had started to feel towards himself was lost with the shifting of the world and more importantly, with the shifting of their relationship. "Daryl? Are you alright?" Daryl shifted on the tree so he could actually see Carol below him. She was looking up at him concern clearly written on her face.

"Why wouldn' I be?" He avoided the question.

"Because you normally stay close to the group. The last time you left like this was back on the farm." Carol looked down her body growing smaller. Daryl hadn't forgotten. He'd been upset, hurt, and pissed at the whole situation. He'd been so certain he'd find Sophia that things would work out and he would prove his worth to the group. So many things went wrong at once on that farm. "Last night Rick came back alone. We didn't even see you. Now I find you here. I just…You know you can talk to me if you want to." Carol turned her face towards Daryl.

Daryl sighed. What could he say 'our leader kissed me and I decided the appropriate response was to run away and hide in a tree?' "Daryl? Rick was talking about moving on later today." Daryl twitched at the mention of the other man. "What do you think?" Daryl shrugged. With all that happened yesterday, he was uncertain if he wanted to follow the group just yet. He could just stay in the woods on his own for a few days. It wouldn't be hard for him to track them down wherever they settled. "You aren't leaving us are you?" Carol's voice grew small and fearful. The woman's ability to read him was extremely annoying at times.

"Maybe." He mumbled. Carol sat on the ground and hugged her legs tightly to her chest.

"Is there a reason?" She continued, when silence was the only response she got. "Was it something I did?"

"No."

"Then it's someone else. You wouldn't leave without good reason."

"How do ya know that? Maybe I'm tired of takin' care of ya'll. Maybe I want to be on my own for a while." Daryl said forcefully. It wasn't true in the least but the need to escape was pounding in his blood. The twitching and itching was inside of him. Feeling like he couldn't escape from his own skin. Carol shook her head below him.

"That's just not like you. You wouldn't leave us because you want to be alone. Or you wouldn't do that for longer than a few hours, maybe a day. It's just not who you are."

"Think ya know me do ya?"

"I'd like to think I do. You work hard keeping us all at a distance but we have things in common the others don't, you and I. I have an easier time understanding your thoughts than they do." Daryl huffed. He didn't want to admit it but she did seem to understand him to a degree that they others didn't. But that really didn't make him feel better in fact it made him feel more vulnerable. "So why do you want to stay here? Did something happen?"

"Doesn' matter." Daryl rolled away from her and stared at the tree line around him.

"Clearly it does because you wouldn't be here otherwise." Carol sighed and moved her body back into the tree trunk. "Did someone say something to you? Or did someone do something to you? I'm getting tired of asking that." She tried to joke. Daryl ignored her and clenched his fists tightly instead.

The memory of Rick's lips on his returned with a vengeance. The look of surprise and pain maybe even longing plainly evident in Rick's bright blue eyes. The way he had called after Daryl like he was trying to get him to return. But return to what, the group? Or to Rick? "Something happened after you left to check out the area didn't it? That's why you didn't come back last night." Daryl stubbornly refused to answer. "Then maybe the one who said something was… oh! Rick! Hi!" Carol called cheerfully.

Daryl almost jumped a foot off the branch. He scrambled higher up the tree where the leaves hid him completely from the ground below. Resting on the balls of his feet he steadied the slender branch with one hand on the branch and the other on the trunk. The tree settled quickly and without previous knowledge that he was in the tree you would never know he was up there. Daryl still had a perfect view of the forest floor and could easily see as Rick stepped through the trees towards Carol.

"Hey Carol, you okay out here?" Rick looked warn down. Tired and his eyes were duller than normal. A darkness clouded around him. Carol nodded in response. "I thought I heard you talking to someone?" Rick shifted his eyes from tree trunk to tree trunk clearly looking for someone hiding behind the trunks.

Daryl clenched the trunk tighter as Carol's eyes shifted upward. If she was surprised by the fact that Daryl was gone she didn't show it. Rick turned his head slightly upwards as well. Daryl held his breath and willed his body to not move a muscle.

"Oh yes! I was." Carol said loudly forcing Rick's attention back to her. Daryl didn't relax just yet. Carol could easily give him away and let Rick know where he was. He wondered how easily he'd be able to jump to the next tree without them noticing him. It would work better to jump down and knock the officer out then run away, he realized. Daryl licked his lip and tensed his muscles to jump. Even if Rick deserved a good punch to the face he didn't deserve a knock out kick from a tree. Plus knowing the man the blow wouldn't actually knock him out. This would probably end with Rick bleeding all over the forest floor as he tried to following Daryl. Two head wounds in so many days would probably kill him or make his already screwy head even screwier.

"Bastard deserves it." Merle roared in Daryl's ear.

"I was talking to Sophia." Carol smiled a little sadly. Rick's eyes softened and filled with a similar sorrow.

"Carol." Rick started. His body moving in to comfort her. He gently took her shoulder.

"It's okay. I just… Sometimes I feel the need to talk to her. Just tell her how things are. Tell her how much I miss her. That I'm doing okay so she doesn't have to worry about me." Daryl closed his eyes. The three of them shared a moment of mournful silence. The three of them felt the same pain over Sophia's death though to varying degrees of agony.

"I'm sorry." Rick whispered. Carol shook her head.

"No it's okay. I'm dealing with it. It takes time but I'm learning to make room for the pain. I'm learning how to live with the pain." Daryl stared down at Carol. She was constantly surprising him. She'd seemed so weak when he first met her but here less than a year later and she had grown into someone strong and fierce. It relieved Daryl greatly, the idea of Carol still being that meek woman who cried softly almost inaudibly in her tent after Ed hit her caused Daryl more pain than he wanted to admit. The way her body seemed so small and broken back then had reminded Daryl of his mother. The crying where no one could hear her was a trait that Carol and his mother shared.

"You're stronger than I am." Rick said softly. "I don't think I would be able to learn to live with it. Every death we've had has almost destroyed me. If that happened to Lori or Carl, to my family. I don't know if I'd be able to take that." Carol took Rick's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Then don't let it happen. We rely on you. Your family relies on you. You have to keep them safe."

"Sometimes it feels like I can barely keep them fed." Rick whispered. "Hell I can barely keep my family safe." Rick laughed darkly self-loathing filling his eyes.

"That's why we're here. We'll help you." Carol said firmly. Rick shook his head.

"No. That's not what I mean. I can barely keep my family safe. Carl and Lori aren't my only family." He stared hard at Carol. "You _all_ are my family. And I… god we barely got away yesterday. I feel like I'm failing everyone. Like I'm putting my family in danger every time we have to move."

"We know you're doing your best. I doubt anyone else could have gotten us this far." She smiled warmly at Rick. "And just so you know I agree with you about everyone being my family. This group is a closer family to me than most of my actual family ever was."

"Then you understand why it matters so much that everyone stays safe?" Carol nodded.

"Of course." Rick sighed heavily.

"After what happened yesterday, I'm starting to doubt my ability to keep the group safe."

"What happened yesterday?" Carol asked concerned.

"I'm surprised everyone doesn't already know about it." Daryl's eyes narrowed to slits, had Rick been telling everyone how he'd kissed him and knowing how men acted did Rick exaggerate and lie about what happened? Telling everyone that they'd done it or something completely untrue. Daryl ground his teeth together as rage spiked in his blood. Might have to rethink the whole knocking the man in the face from a twenty foot fall, Daryl thought. "Yesterday Daryl and I…" Rick bit his lip. "We went out right?" Carol nodded. "And Jesus I don't know what happened or what I was thinking."

Daryl glared down at Rick, disgusted he would dare tell Carol (of all people) what had happened last night. It reminded Daryl of Merle's friend asshole BJ who went around telling everyone in the gang how he and Daryl had slept together. That Daryl had begged him to sleep with him, because Daryl found asshole BJ just so incredibly attractive. None of it was true of course. The guy was an asshole and defiantly not the kind of man Daryl would go for when he thought of men he'd be willing to sleep with.

Asshole BJ had no pride or honor; he barely even had anything between his legs. It looked more like a mole growing between his legs than a dick. Doubt he could even get a drunk whale to bed him, Merle had said after they had taken asshole BJ and beaten him black and blue. They nearly ripped him a new asshole before they realized how little he had to work with. The Dixon brother's had shared a laugh for a good long while after that.

Had the story been true and Daryl had slept with asshole BJ he wouldn't have really minded nor would he have beaten him up (well maybe a little for telling the story to the gang like he did.) But the thing that had really pissed Daryl off was the lie about him. He wouldn't lie about something he did (it just wans't his nature) so how dare asshole BJ do that. Merle had helped Daryl beat him up because he liked fights but mainly because anyone who touched Daryl that wasn't a girl would find themselves on the receiving end of the elder Dixon's wrath.

"Ain' right." Merle hissed more than once to Daryl, he had merely shrugged when his brother told him that. Daryl honestly didn't care one way or another. Men or women it was all the same to him. Not that he'd ever admit that to his brother. He liked his teeth in his mouth and not choking on them.

Daryl looked down at Rick with the same kind of revulsion he had felt towards asshole BJ all those years ago. The idea that Rick would lie about him bothered him. In a way he knew it shouldn't, but the hurt went deep.

"I shot a walker." Rick's clear voice cut through Daryl's internal tirade.

"What?" Carol gasped, asking the question Daryl himself was thinking.

"That's why we had to leave yesterday. The sound drew other walkers in. I put everyone in danger all because I got scared and couldn't think rationally. I acted on impulse." Rick had his head in his hands as he took deep shaky breathes.

"That's not like you." Carol whispered.

"I know." Rick nodded. "I just couldn't think when I saw that walker on Daryl. I panicked."

"Daryl? A walker was on Daryl?" Carol's voice suddenly got higher and scared.

"Yeah pinned him on the ground. I thought for sure he'd been bit or was already dead."

"Oh my god." Carol breathed. Rick looked up into her eyes.

"Did Daryl not tell you?" Carol shook her head.

"No. I had no idea." Rick blinked and sighed deeply.

"He probably didn't see the point in telling anyone, knowing him." Rick said softly. Carol nodded.

"You're probably right. He's not the type to gossip or share stuff like that." Rick smiled tenderly at Carol.

"No he's really not." Rick rubbed his temple for a moment. "Speaking of Daryl, have you seen him?" He questioned her. Carol didn't give any indication that she had been talking to Daryl just minutes before.

"Not since yesterday." She lied smoothly. Daryl was never that good at lying. Merle was the better liar between the two of them. It wasn't that Daryl couldn't lie. He just preferred silence to lies.

"I made him mad yesterday." Rick lamented.

"Did you?" Carol pressed. Rick nodded.

"Yeah I always seem to say or do something stupid around Daryl. Stupid things that usually piss him off."

"I don't think Daryl has ever been truly mad at you. Well maybe besides that time at the quarry. But other than that he's always seemed to follow your lead." Rick's eyes were dark with regret. Daryl started to feel a little guilty for his attitude towards the man until he reminded himself of what Rick had done to him. "I think Daryl just doesn't always know how to handle certain situations." Rick laughed.

"That's true, but it's one of his charming qualities wouldn't you say?" Carol smiled.

"Yeah." Rick grinned widely at her.

"I think one of the best things about him is his willingness to strive to do better in all things he can change. Like the group interactions." Carol nodded at Rick's words. "Though it's funny he doesn't even realize how far he's come. He still thinks he's this person that none of us can stand. But really he's come so far from where he was." Rick trailed off. "It seems sometimes like he still considers himself somehow less than the rest of us."

"It's something that he will probably struggle with his whole life." Carol whispered.

"I don't see why." Rick mumbled. "He's earned his place. Ten times over." Daryl clenched the branch tightly. He didn't want to hear any of this. It didn't feel true. It felt like talking about how good a child is because you can clearly see them hiding behind the door. Did Rick know he was there? Was that why he was talking this way?

"I think he holds himself and us to different standards. Like he can never really measure up to us in his mind."

"Yeah." Rick agreed.

"Have you tried telling him how important he is to the group?" Rick nodded.

"Every time I do something either comes up or I can't get the words out. I make a mess of it every time." Carol nodded.

"You should try again." She encouraged. "I'm sure it would mean a lot to him. Especially from you."

"Pretty sure the next time Daryl sees me he's going to want to punch me in the face." Carol looked alarmed at Rick's rueful expression.

"Did you do something _that_ bad?"

"Yeah. It was pretty bad. Another great example of me not thinking and just reacting. He took off on me. Not that I blame him. Most people would have reacted the same way." Most people aren't getting kissed by their leader with no warning. Daryl thought bitterly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Carol asked kindly. Daryl froze the last thing he needed after avoiding it earlier was for her to bring it up again. It felt like Carol was trying to punish him. Luckily Rick shook his head.

"No it wouldn't be right to talk about it until I talk to Daryl first."

"Well I'm sure he'll appreciate your silence."

"Or he won't care either way because he's so angry he can't see straight."

"In that case I'd say you have a fifty-fifty shot of him not being able to hit you because he's so mad. So you've got that going for you." Rick quirked an eyebrow.

"Thanks? I think?"

"Just trying to keep things in perspective." Carol smiled widely. Rick sighed and leaned his back against the tree. Daryl's muscles tensed with nerves as the pair were moving closer to his hiding spot. "Are you really thinking of having us leave today?" Carol questioned. She rested besides Rick, both of them watching the woods, keeping their eyes open for any dangers that might be lurking.

"Yeah last night was pretty miserable. Don't think anyone would want to go through that again." Daryl wondered what could have happened last night besides the obvious. Carol ever the mind reader nodded and explained what happened for him.

"It's interesting how one person makes such an impact. The watch was longer and colder than usual." Rick nodded.

"I guess I forget how often Daryl takes the bulk of those watches." Rick scoffed. "Sometimes I forget how much Daryl does for us. I get so fixated on things that I forget how much he handles on a daily basis. He keeps our group running smoothly."

"I think that's sort of his nature. Doing things to keep everything running but never really tells us how much effort he puts into our survival." Carol said softly. Rick yawned and stepped away from the tree. He cracked his back popping the muscles into alignment.

"Well I suppose we should get back. Everyone is probably wondering where we are." Carol nodded but didn't move.

"You go ahead. I just need another moment." Rick stopped and peered at her hard.

"Are you sure? I could wait." Carol shook her head. She held her arm tightly as she spoke.

"Go ahead. I'll be right behind you." Rick hesitated. "Get everyone ready to move out." She nodded again at him. "Just don't leave me behind." She teased.

"Of course not. Just…do me a favor?" Rick quirked an eyebrow. "Don't get lost. My tracking skills would have me going around in circles for days." Carol chuckled.

"I won't. Promise. I would hate to see you get lost in your own tracks." Rick waved as he started back through the thick trees towards the camp. Daryl finally breathed a deep long breath and allowed his muscles to relax. Carol waited until Rick was out of sight before turning her head back towards the tree. "Still there?" She questioned uncertainly.

"Yeah." Daryl mumbled.

"He seems really bothered by whatever happened last night." Daryl shrugged. "Maybe you two should talk to each other? Work it out."

"No thanks." Daryl huffed.

"He's clearly troubled by upsetting you." Carol exhaled. "He respects and trusts you. Can't you at least consider talking to him?" Carol pressed, her eyes had a pleading look reflecting plainly in her glassy orbs.

"Rick doesn' respect me. I doubt he even trusts me." Carol threw her hands up in defeat.

"Oh for the love of god! You heard him! He wasn't lying! Why don't you believe us when we say we trust and like you? We care about you Daryl. Anyone can see it. Everyone but you can see how much we care about you." Daryl glared down at Carol. His eyes were slits and his jaw was tensed. He wanted to yell back at her to tell her to leave him alone. That he didn't want or need her around him. He bit his tongue to keep the wrath from exploding out of his mouth. He kept it boiling inside of his chest.

Daryl had once nearly hit her when he'd gotten this angry. It was something he never wanted to do and swore he'd never do again. But his Dixon blood was screaming inside of him. The hisses from his brother and father were returning. Both taunting and whispering to let go. To let the Dixon rage free. To teach her what happened when you spoke to a Dixon that way. Daryl clenched his fists until blood started to seep from his palm.

Carol continued to stare up at the tree. After another minute of tense silence she sighed and her body sagged in defeat. Carol closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. "Fine." She mumbled. "Be that way. You know, you can't keep pushing us away. No matter how much something bothers you or how uncomfortable you find these situations you're going to have to deal with them at some point."

Carol started to walk towards the edge of the trees. She paused before leaving completely. Her hand clenched on the trunk of a tree and she titled her head back towards Daryl. "Please don't cut yourself off from us." Carol licked her lip. "Don't stay here. Even if you don't realize it, we need you." There were tears glimmering in Carol's eyes. Daryl realized slightly shocked. "Come back to the group. We won't leave without you, you know that right?" When Daryl didn't respond Carol gave up and continued moving through the woods.

He waited until he couldn't hear her before bumping his head against the tree. It felt like it was too much for him to process at the moment. Hell it would probably take him a year to digest everything.

"Don' suppose I can just pretend none of this happened." Daryl mumbled to himself. He torn a branch from the limb he was resting on and twirled it between his fingers as he thought. The voices of his father, brother, Carol and Rick all spiraled around his brain. Bouncing off the walls of his skull like they couldn't escape. He groaned knowing a decision needed to be made. He couldn't spend forever in a tree. Well…actually, he probably could. But Carol was right, he couldn't avoid it forever. But surely he could put it off for a few more days? Daryl closed his eyes and let his body relax against the trunk. He enjoyed the wind and the stillness of the world around him.

"Coward." Merle murmured. "Can' even go back to them. Gonna run instead."

"Thought ya wanted me to break off from those 'pansy-asses, niggers, and democrats." Daryl quoted his brother. The branch shifted and sunk down slightly. Daryl opened one eye to see a hazy Merle sitting in front of him. Merle looked exactly as he had the last time Daryl had seen him. The image of his brother set his mind at ease with an underlying current of tension. Being around his brother had always caused conflicts to well up inside of Daryl. To be around Merle was both a relieving and irritating sort of feeling. And that was before the world had ended. Daryl noticed much like the Merle he'd seen when he'd fallen at the farm, this Merle still had his right hand. He seemed to be making a point of twitching his fingers right where Daryl could plainly see them.

Daryl tilted his head slightly and realized when he put his head more to the left he couldn't see Merle anymore only the trees and the sky. But when he shifted his head with a more right slant he could see the hazy Merle glaring at him. Daryl kept his head tilted towards the right.

"Ya don' seem very good at doin' what I tell ya." Merle grumbled. His blue eyes watching Daryl closely, looking for a sign of weakness.

"I listen." Daryl muttered, feeling like he was ten years old again and being told by Merle to stick his hand a fire. 'Just to see what happens to burned flesh.'

"Really?" Merle chuckled he shifted his gaze towards the camp. "Well I think ya should go down there and strangle officer friendly for me." Daryl glared at Merle. His own eyes growing dark. That's all it ever came to with his brother. Revenge and violence. Showing someone who'd done him wrong just how even Merle would get. There was emotional, mental, and physical abuse and then there was Merle's tactics.

A part of Daryl had never been surprised to learn his brother had been kicked out of the military. Even _they_ couldn't control the mad dog his brother was when he worked himself into a rage. Daryl's mother had once said that Merle had more of his father in him that Daryl himself did. At the time, Daryl had been hurt and insulted by her words. It had taken him a long time to realize; as he grew older that, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing to be unlike his father.

Merle turned his gaze back to Daryl and grinned viciously at him. His blue eyes were filled with the same hatred they had held when he'd last seen his brother. That day he'd told Daryl to shut up and go hunting. That he, Daryl had no business telling his older brother to pass on the trip to Atlanta.

Daryl closed his eyes. He knew how that had worked out. If Merle had listened to him. Maybe things would have been different. But how different? Would he even be with the group had Merle returned from Atlanta? "Hey!" Merle growled giving him a sharp slap to the cheek. Daryl slapped his brothers hands away from him. His eyes returning the glare Merle was giving him, with one of his own. Their anger reflected in each other's blue eyes.

"The hell?!" Merle chuckled.

"Can' have ya goin' off inside yer head. Not after I came all this way to see my baby brother."

"Didn' come from anywhere." Daryl mumbled dropping his eyes from his brothers. He could never win in a rage match against Merle. He just didn't have the same bloodlust that his brother had.

"What was that boy?" Daryl scowled at Merle.

"Said ya ain' real!" He spat. Merle looked almost shocked before another wide almost crazed grin broke over his face.

"Told ya before, as real as yer Chupacabra." Daryl ground his teeth back in a snarl. "Sides doesn' stop ya from hearin' and listenin' to me." Daryl couldn't respond to that. Merle was right. Even gone his brother continued to influence his thoughts and actions on some level. Hell even his dead father continued to haunt his living moments. "Bet ya haven' told them that ya hear voices huh?" Merle cocked his head towards camp. Daryl bit his lip sharply. "That's probably smart. Nothin' worse than an insane redneck who sleeps with a knife so he can kill anyone who gets too close to him. Bad enough they have to deal with yer mood. And yer attitude. _And_ yer constant avoidance of all the issues ya don' wanna deal with." Merle counted of. He titled his head towards Daryl. His eyes glistening with malice. "Why do they keep ya around again?" Merle laughed his deep throaty laugh knowing he'd struck a nerve. "Seems like ya are more of a liability than an asset."

"Shut up." Daryl growled pressing his fingers into the scar at his temple. The agony it was creating in his head almost made him sick.

"Ya know they begged ya to go with them. But I think ya shouldn' bother. I mean they're gonna get tired of ya sooner or later. Knowin' ya it'll be sonner. Better to just cut ties with them now." Daryl opened his eyes at that.

"No."

"No?" Merle's eyes darkened.

"I won' leave not now. Yer right. I'm bein' a coward and that's not the Dixon way." Daryl said making his mind up and starting to work his way down the tree.

"But kissin' the man who chained yer brother to a pipe is?" Merle questioned from above. Daryl clenched the limb he was holding tightly.

"No." He bit his lip. "I don' know what that was. But it doesn' matter right now. I'll…" Daryl paused trying to find his words. "Deal with that later when I have to. Until then it's not important." Merle laughed.

"Oh little brother. They have ya wrapped around their goddamn finger. Ya just don' know it yet."

"Maybe." He jumped the last few feet to the ground. "But I'd rather be with them than on my own." Daryl shifted his crossbow. "At least for now." Merle's laughter followed Daryl until he was almost back at the camp.

Now that he was practically at the threshold, the idea of rejoining wasn't nearly as appealing as it had been when he was arguing with Merle. Daryl clenched the strap on his crossbow and took a deep breath. He strode into the camp like he'd only been gone for ten minutes instead of the whole night. Several members of the group stopped what they were doing to smile broadly and wave at him.

Carol in particular smiled and nodded like she was saying she was glad he decided to come with them and was proud of his decision. Daryl nodded slightly at her before moving quickly to his bike and busied himself with putting things away. He hoped everyone would go back to what they were doing before he'd shown up and would stop watching him. It worked for the most part, until a scent hit his nose. Daryl had to fight the urge to run back to the woods.

"We could stay another night." Rick mumbled.

"We're too exposed here. It got too cold last night." Hershel responded logically.

"The herd is probably still moving through the area. Might be safer to stay for a little longer." Rick returned. The pair was walking through the camp clearly debating if the group should stay or go.

Daryl bit his lip and hoped they'd just walk past him. He had no such luck. Rick froze several feet from Daryl's turned back. "Daryl?" Rick breathed. He'd said it so softly that no one other than Rick and Daryl himself could have heard him say it. His back muscles tensed as Rick started moving closer.

"Daryl glad to see you made it back okay." Hershel said from Rick's side. Daryl turned his head slightly as he nodded. Hershel seemed at ease but it was Rick who looked like he'd seen a ghost. Maybe the ghost of a walker would be more appropriate, Daryl mentally amended. Rick's body looked like he wanted to move towards Daryl but didn't know how to make those final steps. Rick's eyes looked both scared but at the same time pleased at Daryl's return.

It seemed like Rick didn't know how to feel about this anymore than Daryl did. The silence and stares between them continued until Hershel coughed slightly behind Rick. This seemed to awaken the other man. "Now that Daryl's here there's no reason to stay here." Rick nodded in agreement with Hershel's words.

"Yeah." He agreed absentmindedly. Rick's eyes kept flicking back to Daryl as he spoke, much to the hunter's dismay. "Make sure everyone is ready to leave. We'll be going shortly." Rick said clasping Hershel's shoulder. Hershel turned to check on progress while Rick turned back to Daryl. He stood awkwardly behind the hunter. Rick had licked his lips, swallowed and shifted his weight four times before he could finally find his voice. "Daryl?" He whispered. The hunter didn't respond even though he'd heard him. "Can we talk?"

"Shouldn' we be getting' ready to leave?" Daryl tried to redirect his leader's attention.

"We need to talk." Rick said forcefully leaving no room for the hunter to try and get out of this conversation. He'd said it with such authority that Daryl set his supplies down and turned completely around to look at Rick. His eyes were strong showing he'd made up his mind and Daryl would be forced along one way or another.

"Why don' we do this later?" Daryl tried again turning his eyes to the other who were watching their exchange with curiosity.

"No." Rick refused. "I'm not going to give you a chance to escape. We need to talk about this Daryl. Now." Rick jerked his head towards the forest. "Come on." Daryl sighed and pulled his crossbow on before slowly following his leader. He kept dragging his feet hoping someone would desperately need Rick and give Daryl the chance to escape this conversation for a while. However, luck was not with him today. He followed Rick far into the woods; ironically they ended up back at the tree Daryl had spent the night in. Should have just stayed here, Daryl thought bitterly.

He glanced up slightly to see if Merle was still lurking in the tree. His brother was nowhere to be seen. Merle had vanished as quickly as he'd come, like a spring thunderstorm. Destructive to Daryl's mind but over quickly, leaving a disaster in his wake. That seemed to be the only thing going for him today. Well regardless Daryl was relieved that Merle was gone, the last thing he wanted or needed was to be talking to Rick while Merle ran commentary in the back of his mind.

Daryl leaned against the tree while Rick paced in front of him. The urge to just reach up and pull himself into a branch was almost too tempting for him to resist. The only thing that stopped him were the little glances Rick kept throwing at him as he muttered to himself. "Daryl." Rick said finally turning to the hunter. Daryl half glared and added a grunt for good measure to show he was listening. "Look." Rick started before licking his lips and running his hands nervously through his hair.

Here comes the 'last night was a mistake' speech, Daryl thought darkly. If things went, south Rick would probably blame Daryl himself for the whole 'incident.' A little, like blaming a woman for dressing up and saying that's clearly why it was her fault that she got raped. Merle's ex friend had used that excuse once.

Daryl wondered if push came to shove if Rick would blame him. Probably would if his wife confronted him. Most guys would. Daryl sighed waiting for the other shoe to drop. "I don't know how to say this." Rick managed. He looked up at Daryl. His eyes looked lost. Daryl couldn't help but feel sorry for Rick and took pity on him.

"Want me to start for ya?" Rick looked shocked at Daryl's words. Almost like, he'd been expecting for Daryl to just sit and be silent the whole talk. "Ya made a stupid mistake. Yer wife's been givin' ya shit. This whole world's gone to hell and back. Ya were just tryin' to enjoy somethin' for a moment till ya remembered what the hell ya were doin'. So yer gonna ask if we can pretend like it never happened and never mention it again. But ya probably would say this whole thin' in a nice way like 'it's not you it's me kinda deal' to make me feel better or some clichéd shit. Well don' worry, ya don' have to spare me any thought. I'm used to stuff like this." Daryl didn't want to admit it but there was a part of him that ached at the words he'd said. But it was an ache he easily buried. He hadn't been lying when he said this sort of thing had happened before. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. It just meant that it didn't hurt as badly as it would have for other people. Rick remained silent during Daryl's tirade.

"Is that what you want?" Rick whispered. He looked into Daryl's eyes. The emotion clearly evident in Rick's eyes. It was almost startling how much he was revealing to the hunter with his gaze alone. "Is that how you feel about this?" Daryl felt trapped, like Rick was trying to trick him. A pop quiz in school on something that was never covered in class, that's how it felt to him.

"Don' ya?" Daryl tried to figure out the thoughts of the man in front of him. Rick looked hurt at Daryl's words. Like he'd been punched in the face by the hunter. His blue eyes and the deep lines in his forehead gave him the look of confusion and sadness that Daryl's words had caused.

"I had hoped that we would have reached the same conclusion." Rick murmured. He took a step towards Daryl. Daryl responded by pressing himself as far away from the man as he could get. "I don't know about you but I didn't consider last night a mistake at all." Daryl looked for some hint of a lie in Rick's eyes. But he couldn't see any sort of a lie reflected in the man before him. "Well maybe the way I went about it could have been better." Rick amended. He had a small smile gracing his lips. "Especially the end." Daryl gulped trying to keep up with the things Rick was saying to him. "Did you really think I'd drag you here and just to tell you last night was a mistake?" Rick questioned. He stepped even closer watching the emotions behind Daryl's eyes.

"Is that hard to believe?" Daryl mumbled not meeting Rick's piercing gaze.

"A little. I guess I didn't explain myself very well yesterday."

"Ya didn' explain anythin' yesterday."

"I guess that's true." Rick lamented. "Will you let me try again?" He asked his blue eyes steady as he waited for Daryl's response. Daryl realized this was his out. He could shove Rick away and pretend this never happened. Life was complicated enough without whatever was building between them. But…Daryl's heart clenched tightly at this idea. If he walked away he'd be safe and removed from pain this thing would inevitably cause him. But if he stayed would the potential happiness be worth the pain? Better to have loved and lost than not loved at all, Daryl thought.

Merle and his father would obviously be urging him to leave. But what did he want? How could he possibly make this sort of decision? Was he supposed to trust his brain, which only focused on the best ways to keep himself alive? His heart that wanted to take the chance at the possibility of having some sort of happiness no matter how brief? Or his gut which had never failed him in moments of danger?

Daryl bit his lip. He'd never been asked before if he wanted a relationship. All his previous relationships (if you could call them that) had been either forced upon him or were closer to one-night stands than actual relationships. How could he possibly know what the right choice would be?

"Love isn't about the mind Daryl." His mother's voice returned to him. He'd once asked her when he was younger why she stayed with his father. His father did such horrible things to her that he couldn't understand why she stayed. "Love is about the heart. You can try to explain why you love someone but the only one who can really understand how you feel is you. Even if the love is painful you can't really deny it's there. Because the only thing more painful than a love that makes you sad is acting like it doesn't exist in the first place. Love is a mixture of happy times and sad times. That's why you can't focus on only the sad times. The happy times can lift your spirit and that's what you have to hold onto with love. So if you deny love you deny both the happy and the sad. You've protected yourself from the sad but lose the happiness too. That's why when you find someone who makes your heart happy you can't be scared of the pain. The pain and sadness will be there, it always is but happiness makes the bad things fade with time. Love is scary but living life without touching anyone else's heart is even scarier. So when someone comes who makes your heart happy don't run away. Be strong enough to let that feeling bloom within you. Enjoy the good times together as you both nurture the love between you and connect your hearts together as one."

Daryl licked his lips. Love? He wasn't sure if that was how he felt toward Rick. They hadn't know each other long enough for that. But didn't his heart feel happy when Rick was around? Yes. Did he want to be someone that Rick could trust and respect? Yes. Were those enough? Could they build towards something more, together? Did Daryl want that? Would Rick? What about in a week? A month? Daryl knew he could only trust his heart and slowly put his hand in Rick's hand. Who automatically shifted his fingers to fit Daryl's besides his own. Daryl squeezed Rick's hand tightly.

"Tell me where you see this goin'."

* * *

Well what can I say... except things seem to be moving in the right direction for them. Like always I hope you enjoyed reading. If you have time review because seriously I get so over excited every time I get a review. It helps me write faster knowing people are still enjoying my story. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. This and the next chapter got me all giddy writing them (cause I'm a silly romantic like that.)

I also have a question for the readers out there. I've been debating on if I should end the story before season three or just continue? I've actually written a couple scenes set in season three. But my question is what do you all think? Let the story go into season three or would it be too overdone at that point? The reason why I'm asking is because there's only so many months between season two and three (when this story is written) eventually I'll run out of months to expand upon. I'd like to get everyone's feedback if they want to provide it. If people don't hate the idea I'll go ahead with my current plan and continue into season 3 (because one can never have enough Daryl and Rick moments.) Anyway hopefully I'll see you all in Ch12! Thanks again!


	12. Chapter 12

Daryl still felt like he was dreaming. Like he'd wake up and Rick wouldn't be grinning at him like a fool. But so far the dream continued and as the minutes ticked by without Daryl waking up he allowed grains of hope and excitement fill him.

Rick smiled broadly at Daryl. His eyes alight with joy. Daryl felt his own heart start pounding in response to the man's delight. Rick looked like he was on top of the moon.

"I didn't think you'd be willing to hear me out. Especially after you took off yesterday." Rick leaned forward and put his head on Daryl's shoulder.

"Sorry." Daryl murmured. Rick shook his head, the soft hairs tickling Daryl's throat.

"It's fine, like I said I could have explained myself better. I was too fixated on the emotions. I forgot to think."

"But yer thinkin' now?" Rick smiled against his neck.

"It's hard but yeah what brain processes are left I'm using them to think." Daryl enjoyed the warmth from Rick's body for a moment before reminding himself that they hadn't really talked about any of this. How was it going to work? Why should it?

"So…" Daryl mumbled. Rick pulled back and exhaled. That small smile was still there as he looked at Daryl.

"So?"

"Ya still haven' explained anythin'." Daryl reminded the man when he gave Daryl a puzzled expression.

"Sorry. I keep getting distracted." Rick grinned sheepishly. "I guess we should clarify some stuff huh?" Daryl nodded. "You don't really think this is a mistake do you?" Rick titled his head towards Daryl.

"No." He whispered. "I figured ya would though."

"What? Why?"

"Cause ya have a wife? Kids?" Daryl looked pointedly at Rick. "Cause ya don' seem the type to pitch for the same team? Cause this might not be somethin' worth tryin' for when there are more walkers every day." Cause you could do so much better than me? Daryl didn't dare voice that concern. He didn't want an answer to that just yet. Mostly because he knew it was true. There wasn't much more bottom of the barrel than a redneck like Daryl Dixon. Rick rubbed his neck after Daryl had finished.

"Sounds like we have more to talk about than I thought." Rick sighed. He gazed at Daryl hard. "First when it comes to Lori, I don't really consider her my wife anymore."

"Ya still wear yer weddin' band." Daryl mumbled looking at the gold ring.

"Yeah I do." Rick said twisting the band around his finger. "More out of habit than anything else. If I'm honest with you, things were going bad before all this happened. Had the world not ended I'm not sure we'd still be together. We just… drifted you know?" Daryl nodded but he honestly didn't, he'd never had anyone (besides family) close enough to him for them to drift away from him. "But after I got to the quarry it felt like things were back to how they were when we first got married. But then at the farm they got bad again and have just continued to get worse."

"Because of Shane?" Rick shrugged he had a far way look in his eyes.

"Maybe. I don't know." Rick sighed and looked at Daryl. "It's complicated. I love her but I don't think I'm _in_ love with her. I love her because of who she is not what our relationship to each other used to be. She's the mother of my children. That's a whole mess of complex emotions right there. I don't know if I could even explain it." Daryl nodded. He understood that on some level. It felt like Rick considered Lori first in his heart. That was fine with Daryl, he didn't expect things to suddenly change between Rick and his family. He would actually be pretty mad if Rick suddenly stopped helping his family because he wanted to spend time with Daryl.

He was fine with being a pleasant distraction for Rick. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been that for someone. If Rick still loved Lori, Daryl could deal with that. They were a better match than he and Rick was anyway. So he knew where he stood in this 'relationship' which made Daryl feel considerably better.

Rick waved his left hand in front of Daryl's face. "If you want I could take it off." Rick was watching him closely, Daryl shook his head there was no point. He wasn't asking Rick to leave his family so they could have a few pleasurable moments together. He just didn't want Rick to feel like he was betraying everyone by spending time with Daryl.

"Are ya sure ya want this?" Daryl asked looking up at Rick. The man had given him an out, it was only fair he returned the favor.

"I want to see what we can make of it." Rick said without hesitation. He touched Daryl's wrist gently. "And since you asked, I think with this world going to hell we should be allowed to find something special that we cherish and want to protect. Otherwise we're just going through the motions of surviving."

"When ya have somethin' to protect that's not yerself ya get weak." Daryl mumbled looking at the way Rick's fingers kept running circles on the soft inner part of his wrist.

"Another Dixon family lesson to live by?" Daryl nodded. "Well in that case is it okay if I include you in the things I have a weakness for?" Rick questioned bringing his lips to Daryl's ear where he could whisper in the hunter's ear and send a bolt of lightning through Daryl's body. "Along with chocolate and a Sunday nap." Rick grinned and Daryl couldn't help but chuckle softly. Rick's words flowing into his body put him at ease, like there was nothing to worry about but the moment in time they found themselves in.

"I guess that'll be okay."

"Good." Rick pulled away from Daryl. He had a boyish look in his eyes. "So is that all your concerns?" Daryl nodded but in reality there were still a hundred questions buzzing in his skull. But he could wait, he at least had a ground to stand on in whatever they were building together. That was a start that Daryl didn't usually get.

Rick's eyes drifted over Daryl's face watching all the little movements the hunter made as he considered the conversation they just had. "We should probably get back huh?" Daryl pushed off the tree to stand besides Rick. "Daryl. I'm glad we talked about this. It's good to know how you feel about this."

"Yeah same here." Daryl said in agreement. It felt really good to know that Rick didn't think it was a mistake and even better to know that they had a least a few more times together, to look forward to.

"Oh before I forget." Rick grabbed Daryl's arm and pressed into him. He met Daryl's lips with his own. He held them together in place for a moment before releasing him. "Didn't want to let you go without that." Daryl's cheeks warmed and his heart started going a million miles a minute. Rick grinned at Daryl's expression before leading them back to camp. They separated at the camp but not before Rick gave Daryl a smile and a quick wink then he moved to help load the cars.

Daryl finished his packing in a daze. Only partially aware of what he was doing. His mind was still back at the tree thinking about what had happened. It didn't seem real, like he'd been dreaming and would wake up confused and disappointed. But on the off chance that it wasn't a dream and did actually happen…

Daryl smiled to himself. He couldn't possibly guess how long this would go on but for however long it lasted, Daryl was content to enjoy it. He felt happy. Happier than he'd been in years. He could only hope that for once he didn't screw up the good things going in his life.

Rick called for everyone to pile into the cars and Daryl turned the triumph on. The caravan followed him out as he led them away from the campsite. They drove most of the afternoon and well into the evening before Daryl found a neighborhood he deemed secure enough for them to stay in.

The group settled in quickly with everyone taking rooms and setting up the watch rotation. Daryl had hoped there would be time to talk to Rick but things kept them both busy and Daryl went to bed without seeing Rick again. Despite that, a smile and a warm feeling entered him. Daryl slept for the first time in a long time without nightmares. He felt like things were actually okay for once.

When morning broke Daryl was one of the first up. He checked out the supplies to see how their food stores were holding up. If they were low they would need to loot the nearby houses or go on a supply run. Otherwise, they could last a while with his hunts to keep them fed.

They were lucky there was still plenty of food left over including his last few catches. He could probably get away with just setting some traps today. Things really were looking up, Daryl noted. He was humming lightly to himself as he cut pieces of meat and nuts to bait his trap with.

"You're in a good mood." Carol said smiling as she walked into the kitchen. Daryl shrugged but he knew she was right. "I'm glad I was worried about you yesterday."

"Why?"

"Cause I didn't think you'd be coming back with us. I'm glad I was wrong."

"I'm sorry." Daryl mumbled knowing he hadn't been the nicest to her yesterday.

"It's fine." Carol waved her hand. "Just don't make me worry like that again." She wagged her finger in his face. "Otherwise you'll have me to answer to." Daryl chuckled at her.

"Okay. I won'. Don' want ya comin' after me with yer sharp stick." Carol smiled.

"It's a rebar thank you very much. Does better than some wimpy arrow ever could."

"Oh I'd love to see ya toss that bar over a hundred feet and still get yer target between the eyes." Carol and Daryl laughed enjoying the easy moment of peace.

"Well it seems like it's a good morning." Daryl felt his heart skip a beat as he inhaled deeply, the rush of warm summer and rivers tickled his nose.

"Good morning Rick." Carol greeted.

"Morning." He returned but Daryl could feel Rick's eyes glued to his back. "Morning Daryl." He said softly. Rick had said Daryl's name like a caress. Daryl had to resist the urge to shiver.

"Mornin'." He grunted not turning to face Rick. He could feel his cheeks burn and hoped they would stop before he had to face the other man.

"Are you going hunting today?" Rick asked stepping closer to Daryl who barely managed a nod. "Mind if I go with you?" Daryl gave a noncommittal grunt. "Let's go now." Rick said already heading out the door.

"He must be really excited to learn today." Carol smiled innocently. Daryl nodded as he gathered the traps up.

"We'll be back." He told her.

"Stay safe." She waved as Daryl followed Rick into the trees. Rick shadowed Daryl closely as he set the traps up in various places on the ground and in the trees. When he had finished he turned to tell Rick that they could head back to the house. Rick however seemed to have other ideas. He took Daryl's hand and led him deeper into the woods.

After a few minutes Rick pulled Daryl to a tree where he sat down and rested against the trunk. Daryl pulled his crossbow off and took a seat next to Rick. They sat in silence while Rick laced their fingers together and bumped his shoes against Daryl's playfully. The breeze and sun kept everything at a comfortable temperature. Daryl felt relaxed, happy, and content. He was willing to let this moment of peace go on for as long as it could.

"Can I say that starting the morning with your laughter has got to be one of the best ways to start the day." Daryl blushed at Rick's words. Rick glanced at him and smiled.

"Yer weird." Daryl mumbled but he squeezed Rick's hand tighter.

"So should we continue where we left off yesterday?" Daryl arched an eyebrow.

"Meanin'?"

"I don't' know we could talk, relax, and have a moment just for us?"

"Ya mean getting' to know each other better or somethin'?"

"That's sort of what being in a relationship is about." Daryl's heart jumped at the word, relationship. He still wasn't certain what kind of relationship they really had to look forward to but the word was not a displeasing one.

"Okay where do ya wanna start? Yer favorite color? Yer favorite activity besides killin' walkers?" Rick laughed.

"Maybe we can skip those parts." Daryl nodded. "I was actually hoping I could ask you about something you said yesterday." Daryl nodded again. "You said that I didn't seem the type to pitch for the same team. But I could easily say the same about you." Daryl turned red; he didn't think he'd be going over his past experiences so soon.

"I've just never really cared about that sort of thin'." Daryl shrugged trying to sound nonchalant.

"So you've been with guys before?" Rick whispered like he was worried that someone would overhear them.

"A few times." Daryl shrugged. He didn't often find someone who he liked or liked him back, so he wasn't really picky about gender when he did find someone. Though to be fair, he never got very far with the guys he'd been with. They mostly wanted to use him for their pleasure but wouldn't do anything that he could find mutually enjoyable. It was more of a use you and leave you sort of thing. "How about ya?" Daryl shifted back to Rick. He couldn't help but wonder if the man holding his hand had a greater depth of understanding about this stuff than Daryl himself did. Rick bit his lip.

"I had some crushes on other guys when I was in high school but never really moved beyond that. Kinda lame huh?" Rick grinned at him. "I once thought I kind of liked Shane for a while there. Though that was before I figured out what a narcissist he was." Rick laughed. That had surprised Daryl he'd always wondered if they'd been closer partners than normal. Like those trashy dime store novels always focused on. But then he'd seen how they'd fought over Lori so he had decided he must have been wrong. "Does that bother you?" Rick asked softly.

"Nah." Daryl shook his head. Rick knocked his foot against Daryl's again.

"Okay. So now it's your turn."

"For?"

"Asking a question. Or telling something. I don't mind either way." Rick smiled watching Daryl. Daryl thought hard, wondering what he could possibly ask Rick.

"What's your favorite flower?" He asked the first thing that came to his mind. Rick looked at him in shock.

"You always manage to surprise me you know that?" Rick smirked. "To answer your question, I have no idea if I'm totally honest. Never really paid much attention to flowers. Didn't the have time. Now I wish I'd made time." Rick sighed. "My turn?" He asked Daryl who nodded. "Boy there's so many things I want to ask." Rick mumbled much to Daryl's embarrassment. The idea that someone found him interesting enough to ask questions about him was something he wasn't used to in the least. "Will you answer no matter what I ask?" Rick teased.

"Maybe." Daryl shrugged.

"How like you." Rick laughed. "Did we need to go hunting today?" Rick asked suddenly.

"Nah our supplies are holdin' up pretty well. We've been lucky the last few days."

"You mean we've been lucky to have you around." Daryl shrugged.

"We've all been collectin' supplies."

"True. But all of our fresh meat comes from you."

"Well if I let ya hunt for us we'd have starved in the first week." Rick chuckled. Rick's foot tapped against Daryl's a few times.

"You still haven't managed to get that cheese burger I keep asking you for."

"Buildin' is still on goin'. Have to finish Daryl's burger joint first, then ya can yer burger." Daryl said not missing a beat.

"Hope the grand opening is soon. I want my milkshake and burger." Daryl smiled lightly until a rustle echoed in his ears. He pulled away from Rick and slowly rose to one knee, setting the crossbow scope to his eye. Rick pulled out his knife waiting for Daryl to give him a sign.

Daryl listened closely the wind was rustling the trees overhead and Rick's foot kept crunching the soft dirt below him. It didn't sound like footsteps so not a person and the heavy plodding of a stumbling dead feet was missing ruling out walkers. It sounded smaller closer to the ground. Daryl turned his bow slightly downward where he could hit whatever was approaching. When it was twenty feet away Daryl recognized the sound of the animal through the leaves. He inhaled and exhaled slowly. Steadying his body until his blood slowed to a crawl and his muscled locked in place. Daryl's body was practically frozen in place. He held his breathe and slowly squeezed the trigger. The arrow shot off silently leaving nothing but a small kickback in its wake.

"It's safe now." Daryl whispered to Rick as he shook his hands lightly to work the blood flow back into circulation.

"What did you get?" Rick asked when Daryl stood to his full height.

"I think it might be a Copperhead." Rick's face paled considerably. "Let's go check."

"What?" Rick gasped. "Shouldn't we leave it?!" His eyes were wide and his voice had a strangely strained quality to it.

"Um no?" Daryl creased his brow at Rick's expression. He looked beyond alarmed at Daryl's words. "We can eat it and use the skin for stuff. Bones also make good bait." Daryl explained starting to stride towards the spot where his arrow was stuck fast in the ground.

"Daryl wait!" Rick cried rushing to follow. When they neared the snake Daryl saw he was right and it was indeed a Copperhead. The kill was clean right through the thick part of the neck. Daryl moved a step closer before sticking his crossbow butt first into the ground where he cold lean against the frame and consider the best plan of action. He was in the middle of figuring out the best way to get the snake back to the house when Rick's hands wrapped tightly around his bicep. Daryl glanced behind him to see Rick's eyes were pinched shut and he had pressed his face into the broad part of Daryl's back.

"Er…Ya okay?"

"Fine." Rick's voice had a distinctly higher pitch than usual.

"Ya sure?" Rick nodded against Daryl's back. "Are ya scared of snakes?" Daryl tried to keep the amusement out of his voice. He didn't succeed. Rick squeezed Daryl's arm tightly in retribution.

"They're evil." Rick muttered bitterly. His words were slightly slurred by trying to say them against Dary's vest. The man seemed to refuse to take his face away from Daryl's back, even to talk.

"The stuff we've seen and done hasn' bothered ya at all. But a snake bothers ya? That's…surprising."

"When I was a kid my dad's friend bought a boa. They put it on my shoulders."

"Sounds like somethin' most kids do." Daryl shrugged missing the point.

"Yeah well most kids don't have the giant boa start wrapping around their throat as it tries to eat them." Rick trembled slightly at the memory.

"Holy shit. Yer kiddin' right?" Rick shook his head. "What the hell did ya do? Rub bacon grease on ya before puttin' a snake around yer neck?" Daryl asked slightly horrified that could happen. It seemed like something that wouldl happen in a horror movie not real life. But at the same time it was… a little funny not that he would ever tell Rick that. Clearly, Rick was terrified but the way he was hiding behind Daryl's smaller frame just made it all the funnier.

"I didn't do anything! They're evil like I said." Rick grumbled increasing his pressure on Daryl's arm. Daryl sighed softly and patted Rick's hand gently hoping to calm him down enough to get the man to let go so he could finish collecting the snake.

"Look I won' make ya carry it back okay?"

"Wait you were going to earlier?" Daryl shrugged. "Great thanks." Rick grumbled bitterly. "That makes me feel _so_ much better."

"Look I'll handle it okay? Ya just stay here and then we can finish talkin' or whatever ya want."

"I'm not doing anything as long as that thing is near us." Rick mumbled retreating several steps away.

"Okay then we'll drop it off at the house. Didn' realize ya would turn into such a baby." Daryl teased as he worked some of the blood back into his numb arm.

"Shut up! We all have things that bother us. Just cause I haven't found yours out doesn't give you the right to make fun of me." Rick reminded Daryl of a cat being tossed in water at the moment. His whole body looked ready to explode with anger and fear. Or maybe shoot off like a bullet from a gun and run all the way back to the house. Either way it was funny but not enough that Daryl wanted to risk upsetting Rick more. He'd actually been enjoying getting to know Rick better and didn't want to risk losing that privilege because of his teasing.

"Sorry." He said. "I didn' mean to make fun of ya."

"I'll get back with you one day." Rick grumbled from near the tree. The closer Daryl moved to the snake the more Rick seemed to retreat.

"Don' ya wanna watch? Learn how to hunt snakes and all?" Rick paled again at Daryl's suggestion.

"We don't have to hunt snakes! Do we?!"

"We might. If food supplies dwindle." Rick swallowed heavily and stepped closer to Daryl. He was still a few good feet from Daryl but close enough that he could see.

"Okay… I can see." Rick mumbled his feet shifting nervously.

"Good. Now see while we've been talkin' the snake hasn' moved. Meanin' it's a good bet it's dead."

"You weren't sure before?!" Rick's voice reached that slightly panicked and higher tone again.

"It's always hard to tell with snakes." Daryl explained. He pulled his knife out of its sheath and slowly started creeping closer to the reptile.

"Be careful."

"Always." Daryl mumbled taking a step forward. There wasn't any movement triggered from his approach. The Copperhead didn't try to move away from the hunter as he approached. Further proving in Daryl's mind that the reptile was in fact dead. But as he had learned the hard way when he was a child, a dead snake could be just as dangerous as a living snake. Daryl pulled one of the arrows out of his crossbow holster intending to use it as a stick to hold the head down. "Do ya have a bag or somethin'?" Daryl called to Rick.

"Yeah I do actually." Rick said inching forward. He kept trying to stretch his arm out to hand the bag to Daryl without actually getting too close to him or more specifically the snake.

"Well give it here." Daryl waved his hand keeping his eyes on the reptile. Rick managed to half throw half give it to Daryl before hastily retreating. "Wait, ya probably wanna watch this. It's important to know how to do this." Rick trembled slightly but he held his ground. Which impressed Daryl greatly. "Okay now I don' expect ya to be able to do this right away but better ya at least have a basic understandin' of how it's done."

Daryl moved closer to the reptile putting his arrow in his left hand while keeping the bag and hunting knife in his right. He didn't bother taking the arrow in the snake's neck, out just yet. The hunter quickly put the arrow against the back of the head where he held it down firmly. He made a strong fast slice with the blade and cut the head off. Rick made a soft moan at the motion. "Now see, I cut the head off right?"

"Yeah." Rick groaned. His face almost paper white at this point. He was wobbling slightly like he might faint at any moment.

"Problem is it doesn' really care that it's head is gone see?" He held up the wiggling reptile body. Rick retched in response.

"Why is it doing that?" He moaned putting his hands on his knees trying to stop himself from fainting or worse vomiting.

"Cause for most reptiles it takes a long time for their bodies to shut down completely. Part of it is because they're cold-blooded. They just don' realize they're dead."

"Like zombies." Rick grumbled. Daryl quirked an eyebrow, his mind turning to the walkers their world was infested with. "Okay maybe a bad analogy." Rick shrugged.

"Anyway it just means the body will keep moving." Daryl explained putting the still shifting body into the bag using only his right hand. He tied the knot using his teeth before tossing the bag to the side. The hunter kept his left hand unmoving on the base of the snake's neck. Daryl repositioned his body to focus on the dangerous head. "This is the important part." He glanced up to see Rick watching him even though the man looked severely uncomfortable. "Remember how the snake's body kept movin'?" Rick nodded. "Well the same thin' is true of the head."

To show an example he pulled the arrow from the neck of the snake and put it in front of the mouth. The Copperhead made to attack and bite the arrow as it neared the mouth. Normally that was alarming enough, Daryl nearly jumped out of his skin at the shriek that came from Rick's mouth. Daryl's eyes shot up in fear. Not entirely, certain such a high-pitched sound could be coming from Rick. Rick's whole body was on the verge of trembling and his face now had green tinges to it now.

"What the hell?!" Rick yelled. "I thought that was just a goddamn myth!"

"What was?" Daryl asked watching the snake try to get a good angle on his arrow. It was really pretty interesting to watch. Even dead and without a body the Copperhead moved to attack whatever it perceived as a threat. Watching the snake snap and try to bite the arrow reminded Daryl of walkers. They attack without sense but unlike the snake walkers attack not out of seeing humans as a threat. No, they attack because they have no sense. It's not a matter of self-preservation or warning. It's mindless hunger driven by mindless husks that can't recall even the simplest of things.

"That snakes bite after they've died!"

"Actually it's completely true. My uncle used to tell me that a dead snake is even more dangerous than a livin' one. There's nothin' more embarrassin' than gettin' sent to the hospital from a dead snake bite. Sides livin' ones ya can usually frighten away. A dead one ya never know when those lights in the brain stop tellin' the jaw to bite down on whatever gets too close."

"Synapse." Rick mumbled.

"Huh?"

"They're called synapses. The lights in the brain. Basically they're electric impulses in the brain that keeps the body running."

"God ya are such a know it all."

"Sorry." Rick chuckled softly.

"Well those _synapses_ don' stop in reptiles like they should. Makes them able to move and bite long after they're dead."

"Like walkers." Daryl nodded in response to Rick's words.

"Exactly." Daryl sighed and pulled the arrow away from the mouth. The Copperhead stopped trying to bite and settled down. It looked like a perfectly dead snake's head but Daryl wasn't ready to go picking it up or something equally stupid. One of his friends growing up had learned the hard way to never tempt fate by picking up a snake's head. Damn thing had bitten him on the nose. Lucky for the little bastard it wasn't poisonous but still not something you tend to forget.

Daryl wanted to take the head home with him but realized it would probably be smarter to just bury it. Daryl sighed and sat back on his haunches. He turned his head slightly to look at Rick who was starting to pull himself together. "Walkers and reptiles they aren' that different huh?" Daryl mumbled. "They're both dumb animals. Not even aware of the world around them. All they can think about is food. Actually, walkers have no sense of self it makes them lower than reptiles. At least reptiles can reproduce and realize when they're in danger. But walkers just keep comin'. Doesn' matter if they get killed in the process. All they care about is eatin'."

"I'm not entirely sure that's true." Rick whispered softly. Probably hoping Daryl wouldn't be able to hear what he'd said. But the hunter easily picked up on his words.

"What did ya say?"

"What you said about walkers being mindless and with no sense of self. I'm not sure that's true." Daryl gave Rick a quizzical look.

"Did a walker come and preform a tap dance for ya? Maybe bake ya a cake when we weren' lookin'?" Rick shook his head. He shifted nervously and worried his lip between his teeth.

"No nothing like that. It's just… When I first got out of the hospital I was saved by a man named Morgan and his son Duane right?" Daryl nodded, this was the first he'd really heard of it but he wanted to see where Rick was going with his story. "Well Morgan's wife Jenny had been infected. She turned." Rick stared at Daryl hard, it was almost like he was expecting the hunter to say something. Daryl had no idea what he was supposed to say so he just stared right back. "The thing about her was she kept coming back."  
"What like they'd kill her and she'd get back up?" Daryl asked. "Cause that would mean they probably didn' shoot her in the brain."

"No not like that. I mean she kept coming back the house they were staying in. The house she died in."

"Doesn' sound that special to me. Walkers roam. We've see them come to houses before. Hell they've tried breakin' down the doors before."

"You're missing my point." Rick sighed and rubbed his temple before starting again. "I mean she went to the door. Seemed to stared at it before trying to open the door. As in jiggle the doorknob like she was trying to turn the knob to open the door." Rick grinned triumphantly. "How many walkers have you seen do that?"

"None but I don' usually watch them to see if they try to open doors. I usually kill them before they can get anywhere near us." Daryl said flicking his knife for emphasis.

"Okay how about this, when I was coming to Atlanta I stopped at a gas station. When I was going to refill my tank I saw a child moving. A little girl she bent down and picked up her teddy bear."

"So…? What happened to the little girl?"

"That's just it, she was a walker. But since when do walkers ever pick something up that isn't food?"

"I don' know. But again never really cared to watch them. I prefer to put them down before they can hurt anyone." Rick sighed looking thoroughly discouraged. "Look I get what yer sayin' sorta. Walkers might not be dumb animals. It was a bad analogy okay?"

"That's not it at all." Rick grumbled. "Do you remember Dr. Jenner?"

"I remember him lockin' us in a room and tryin' to kill us all." Daryl growled. If the man hadn't blown himself up already Daryl surely would have helped him to his death. Bastard.

"No I mean the video he showed us. Of the test subject."

"Sorta?" Daryl shrugged. He didn't feel like bursting Rick's bubble by reminding the man that when Jenner had been giving his little video show for the group Daryl had been suffering from a wicked hangover. The result of finally getting a moment to himself and a chance to both celebrate the good fortune (or so it seemed) that the CDC provided and mourn the loss of his brother. So while he remember the major points (mostly the bastard locking them in the room with only minutes to get away) he didn't remember all the little things.

"He showed us the brain with the synapses." Rick sighed. "The lights right?" Daryl nodded. "Then the synapses died when the person died but they came back right?"

"Sure. Somethin' about them walkin' around and eatin' but the you part not comin' back right?" Rick nodded excited. His eyes alight, his brilliance and cleverness clearly showing through. Daryl didn't consider himself a dumb man by any means but the way Rick's mind connected things, remembered things that honestly had nothing to do with the group's survival was impressive.

If Daryl was honest, Rick looked really attractive as his brain was going a mile a minute, but he was slowing down to make sure Daryl stayed with his thought process. That was especially attractive most people Daryl had known only showed him something once and was pissed off when he didn't understand immediately. But Rick didn't treat Daryl like he wasn't worth the time it took to explain things thoroughly. In fact, he seemed to be making the point to help Daryl understand his thoughts.

The intelligence and patience clearly reflected in the man's eyes, made Daryl want to shove him into a tree. See if he could stop the other man from talking for a minute. Daryl licked his lip seriously considering it for a moment but he realized this was important to the officer. So he kept his focus on Rick.

"Exactly!" Rick nodded vigorously. "But I watched it closely. Dr. Jenner was right, most of the brain didn't come back. But I kept seeing little flashes of light shooting out towards the other parts of the brain. Flashes, mere seconds when they reached the other parts of the brain."

"Meanin'?"

"Meaning what if Jenny trying to open the door. Or the little walker girl getting the bear, what if at that moment they had flashes of who they were before. What if those synapses went out to the other parts of the brain just at that precise moment? Those times when they did something almost human."

"Rick…" Daryl sighed. "Look I wanna believe you really I do. But let's face it ya were alone when all those moments happened. I never saw them so I just don' think I have grounds understand like ya do. I'm a simple man, I need to see somethin' with my own eyes to believe it." Rick sighed and pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes.

"Wait! What about the church?"

"The church?"

"Remember when we were looking for Sophia, we came across a church right?" Daryl nodded. "All those walkers were sitting down in the pews right? Like they were waiting for mass to start." Daryl sighed.

"Yeah but Rick that doesn' mean much. We've seen walkers who've been in cars like they were goin' to work. Only they weren,' cause they died that way. We've seen walkers in bathtubs and in beds." Rick sighed heavily. His eyes started to lose that excited glimmer they had earlier. Rick nodded and started to walk away defeated. "Look…" Daryl exhaled deeply. "How 'bout the next time I see a walker actin' strange I'll look for the signs ya mentioned."

"Okay." Rick smiled. He stepped closer to Daryl again, obviously pleased with Daryl's willingness to consider Rick's idea. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to freak out about it. I just never connected the pieces together before." Daryl shrugged.

"It's fine. Just, next time ya go off the deep end let me know first alright?" Rick chuckled.

"Sure."

"Actually on top of that if I get any crazy ideas I wanna be able to talk to ya about them. So yer goin' to have to listen to my ideas next time." Rick's grinned widely.

"That sounds like an excellent deal. I'd love to know how the one and only Daryl Dixon thinks." Daryl rolled his eyes.

"I'm not _that_ interestin', trust me." Daryl started back towards the snake's head and was preparing to spear it. When Rick's voice caused his hands to stutter.

"You are to me." Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat trying to pretend what Rick said hadn't made him embarrassed.

"Don' suppose ya have another bag with ya?"

"I have a plastic baggy but…wait why?" Rick asked growing wary.

"Cause I want to put the head in a bag."

"Why? Why do we have to keep heads?" Rick practically cried. "Next you'll be asking me to help you collect walker heads!"

"Now that's just crazy." Daryl laughed holding his hand out for the bag.

"At least tell me why?" Rick sighed handing it over.

"Cause we can still milk the snake get the venom. Might be handy if we come up against other survivors."

"Great now you're talking about poisoning some people."

"I don' wanna but if I have to I will." Daryl mumbled spearing the snake through with his arrow. The head clenched and unclenched a few times before Daryl pushed it into the bag and sealed it up tight. He set it and the bag with the body side by side and wrapped them both around a lengthy stick he found.

"Great now you look like a hobo." Rick grumbled. "With sacks full of snakes."

"Better be nice or I'll make ya carry them back." Daryl teased which shut Rick's mouth with a snap. They started their walk back towards the house, Daryl leading the way and Rick watching his sacks closely like they'd explode in a rain of snakes at any moment.

Daryl walked slowly thinking of what Rick had said about the walkers he'd run into. Had it just been Rick looking for some way to humanize them? Like when you give an animal human characteristics in hopes of making it easier to relate to things you can't understand on a fundamental level? But… Daryl had never known Rick to do something without reason. He was logical at his core. Could Rick be right? The whole train of thought bothered Daryl. The idea that maybe the walkers might have moments of humanity made it harder to kill them, but not by much.

Even if walkers had moments of humanity like Rick suggested that didn't stop them from trying to eat everyone they came across. Or if they didn't manage to eat their victim, a single bite would turn the poor sap into a walker. The infection was the real problem. Not any seconds of humanity they may or may not have. If only they could come up with a way to stop the infection … that would turn things in their favor.

Daryl stopped in his tracks. His own mind connecting things together. Rick yelped behind him.

"You did that on purpose!" Rick hissed. "Trying to make me walk into those awful things." Daryl turned around trying to figure out how to explain his idea to Rick. "You know most people wouldn't be so mean as to let others run into sacks full of snake pieces."

"I've got my own idea." Daryl said staring up into Rick's eyes. His annoyance dissipated almost instantly.

"About?"

"Walkers." Daryl shifted the stick on his shoulder. "Okay think about the bites. How it turns others into walkers right?"

"Yeah it kills them then they turn." Rick nodded. "Like Dr. Jenner said though, we're all infected. The bite just speeds up death."

"Exactly but what if we stopped the infection?"

"Unless you're able to regenerate organs to replace the infected ones. Or did you happen to bring a military lab because otherwise I don't see how that's happening."

"No." Daryl groaned. Rick had explained his idea so easily but Daryl couldn't seem to get his words across properly. "We can' stop what's already in us. But what about the infection from bites? If we could stop the infection from spreadin'. We could stop a person from dying and stop them from turnin' earlier than they should." Rick still looked confused. Daryl sighed and wracked his brain for an example. "Think of a snake bite. In the old days when ya got bit by a snake they'd cut off the part of yer body that was bit. For example if yer hand got bit they'd cut off the hand."

"That sounds…really dangerous."

"Yeah it was. Most people had a hard time livin' through gettin' a limb removed and died. But there were some who actually managed it. My point is that what if we could do the same with walker bites?"

"What cut off Jim's chest?" Rick stared at Daryl with confusion.

"No I mean if I got bit on my arm ya could cut it off."

"What are you talking about?" Rick's eyes were wide and horrified. Making Daryl realize he'd failed. Where Rick had explained everything brilliantly, Daryl couldn't string two words together without sounding like an idiot. "Why would I cut your arm off?" Daryl sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Okay let me try again. This is all just a hypothesis. That's the correct word right?" Rick nodded. "Let's say a walker bit one of us right? But they were bit on the extremities like the hands or feet, we could try and cut off the limb. It might stop the infection. Like stoppin' snake venom from spreadin' and reachin' the organs. Do ya get it?"

"Actually yeah." Rick said nodding his head. "But do you really think that would work?"

"Not sure." Daryl sighed. "It wouldn' be somethin' I'd like to test out to see if I'm right. But it's an idea. It would probably work better than tryin' to suck the poison out."

"Wouldn't the likelihood of exsanguination be really high?" Rick licked his lips.

"Yeah blood loss could kill someone just as easily as the bite. But what if it worked? What if they lived through the blood loss and we stopped the infection from spreadin'?"

"Still sounds risky. It sounds like a razors edge. Either way could kill someone. I mean even with a full team of doctors and the best hospitals people still died from blood loss. We don't have any of those. We've got Hershel and Carol. Do you really think they would be able to stop someone from bleeding to death?"

"I think they would do their best. That's all any of us can do anymore." Rick nodded his jaw set as he reached his decision.

"If you think it could work it's that's reason enough for me to consider. Though I'm going to be honest I pray we never find ourselves in the position of testing your theory out." Daryl nodded.

"That makes two of us."

* * *

First off thank you to everyone who reviewed and gave me your thoughts on continuing. (It really made my choice easy!) I'm glad to see that I'm not alone and there are others out there wanting to see this story continue into season 3. So I think I will go ahead with my plan and continue into season 3. Let me say I'm super excited about this! There's just so many great moments in 3 I'd love to flush out. The only problem I have now is that I don't really want to rehash the whole season (obviously some parts probably will be covered in this) but I'm more interested in the moments between the episodes and the Daryl and Rick moments of course! I've got a pretty good idea how I'm going to handle it and hopefully everyone will enjoy it.

Like always if you have the time please review. I'm always interested to hear what you guys think. It makes me so happy to know people enjoy the story I can't seem to stop writing. I hope you all enjoyed reading and hopefully I'll see you in CH13! Side note: I liked this chapter because it has hints of the future and some of my own theories about the walkers. (Seriously the flashes with the brain in TS-19 is crazy!)


	13. Chapter 13

Daryl's lips felt chapped and cracked to the point of bleeding. He'd tried to run his tongue over the painful broken surface but that only seemed to dry his lips out more. The constant nervous chewing wrecked further havoc on his mouth. Rick had tried to help by finding him some chap stick a few days ago. Only the flavor Rick gave him was one called berry blushing sweet sugar. Daryl responded by chucking it at Rick's head. Yelling that he wasn't a goddamn girl before storming off.

It had been nearly a week and a half since he and Rick entered their whatever they were in. The warm feeling had worn off only to be replaced with worry, annoyance, and an ever persistent sense of dread that boiled low in Daryl's gut. Rick had become almost exceedingly attached, no it was more like he was overly concerned with Daryl's wellbeing. If he had a sore muscle, Rick would notice and waste precious medical supplies on him. If he had trouble sleeping Rick noticed and would keep him at the house so he could get his 'rest.' If he didn't eat enough (according to Rick) he'd find almost double portions on his plate at the next meal.

The whole thing was driving Daryl up the wall. He wasn't used to the extra attention or the concern. The obvious consideration Rick paid him was almost killing him. He was used to spending a few pleasant nights with someone but having them give less than two shits about him the next morning. He and Rick hadn't really done anything either. Outside of a make out and talk (lots of talking) yet Rick kept treating Daryl like he was married to him. He couldn't comprehend whatever thoughts were going around in Rick's head. Daryl felt like he was suffocating at times with the way Rick's smoldering gaze would follow him. It felt like constantly being under a microscope. Daryl couldn't stand it. He almost started resorting to hiding in the woods, but couldn't quite bring himself to run off.

The situation left Daryl feeling irritable and confused. But every time he thought about bringing it up with Rick the man would give him this simple easy, almost blindingly happy smile. It made it impossible to talk to Rick about the things that was bothering him. The one time Daryl almost managed to tell Rick he got so tongue tied he could barely say his own name. Daryl couldn't figure out if it was the constant watching, or the overly considerate nature of Rick that bothered him the most. But perhaps it was the relentless physical contact between them that was really starting to bother him. It made Daryl's whole body overly sensitive like it had been washed in acid leaving fresh skin that had no callous to protect against the roughness of the world.

The more Rick touched him the more Daryl realized he couldn't escape the knowledge that Rick could do so much better than him. The knowledge that he had no right to be at Rick's side ate away at him. He wanted to pull away from the whole thing but Rick was oblivious to his feelings and wouldn't let him go.

Daryl closed his eyes. He was resting against a rock near a stream he'd found a few miles away from the house. Though if he was honest it was hardly worthy of the name stream. The tiny trickle of water looked like someone had left their sprinklers on overnight and created this running water. But regardless of the size it was enough to settle his nerves and allow him to not think of anything. It was working to clear his mind of all the annoyances, worries, fears, and multitude of other emotions Rick had set ablaze in him. A twig snapped behind him jerking Daryl from his feeling of nothingness. He gripped the knife at his hip listening to the sounds around him. He ignored the stream and could hear the soft footsteps and even breathing getting closer to his hiding spot. When the person was a few feet from him Daryl slowly unclenched the blade and slid it back into its sheath.

"Daryl?" Rick smiled as he stepped around the rock. Rick automatically took a seat besides the hunter. Without thinking, Daryl moved his hand closer to Rick's side. Rick reached for it and smiled as he weaved their fingers together. It was only after Daryl felt Rick give him a light squeeze that he realized what he'd done. He'd not given any thought about giving Rick his hand, he hadn't considered the dangers that could come with allowing anyone to touch him. This disturbed Daryl deeply. He felt like he was unable to defend himself against Rick, should the man decide to put Daryl in his place. If Rick decided the only response to Daryl was violence (like most people eventually realized), he would never see it coming.

"Would be easier than shootin' fish in a barrel." Merle whispered pointing out his blind spots when it came to Rick. Rick wouldn't even have to work at putting Daryl down, not with the way he'd been acting around Rick lately.

"I had a feeling I'd find you out here." Rick titled his head to look at Daryl out of the corner of his eye. Daryl grunted in response. Not really trusting himself to speak just yet. "The weather's getting nicer huh?" Rick mused staring at the world around them. The trees were slowly starting to bud and the sun finally started to warm the ground enough that Daryl could easily sleep outside with only the added warmth his poncho provided.

Silence filled the air between them. Which Daryl was fine with, he still hadn't gotten used to talking to Rick at length. He tended to get lost in his own head. While Rick seemed to have no problem filling the air between them. He seemed almost uncomfortable with the silence at times. The complete opposite of Daryl. But unlike Daryl Rick never got tongue tied, lost, or confused with his own words. He had a way of speaking that Daryl could listen to for hours. The man had a way with words and stories that felt like he was trying to drag Daryl into the memories of his past. Almost like he was trying to bring Daryl back in time by giving him the feelings and thoughts Rick had had at the time.

Daryl found it strangely relaxing to just sit and listen. But often Rick wanted to know more about Daryl himself after he had finished whatever particular story he wanted to share with the hunter. Daryl realized quickly he wasn't able to compete with Rick's memories. Hell even their memories had such vast differences in their nature. Rick's memories were often filled with joy, wonder, excitement, and love. Daryl in contrast found himself constantly changing or editing his memories. He realized that his life was closer to a child living in the poverty-stricken Depression era when compared to Rick's idyllic life. "You okay?" Rick asked interrupting Daryl's thoughts. He nodded. "You seem really quiet today." Rick whispered running his thumb in small circles on the back of Daryl's hand. A small shiver went through Daryl at the electric feeling Rick created. "Do you want to talk?" Rick's blue eyes turned to him trying to read his emotions. Daryl turned away quickly not wanting Rick to read anything in his face.

"Nah." Daryl mumbled. "Just need to work through some stuff." He couldn't bring himself to ruin Rick's obvious good mood. The man had enough stress in his life. The last thing he needed was Daryl complaining about something he agreed to in the first place.

"You sure?" Rick pressed he wasn't staring at Daryl anymore but he sounded uncertain like he wanted to press the subject but didn't know how. When Daryl didn't respond Rick gave a nervous low chuckle. "Want to make out?" He half smirked in Daryl's direction. "God I sound like a horny teenager." Rick laughed. "It seems like that's all we do lately." Rick wasn't wrong. That's part of where Daryl's sore and chapped lips came from. The excessive biting was all him but the being constantly pushed against the nearest surface to find his lips claimed by Rick's possessive ones probably wasn't helping much.

Daryl worried the middle of his lip that had split open rather viciously the other night. The coppery taste of blood still fresh in the painful rip. Every movement of his tongue against his lip made the wound throb but he couldn't leave it alone. The disastrous state of his mind wouldn't allow him to focus on such minor concerns.

Rick however _did_ seem to be able to worry about such petty concerns instead of the larger problems facing them on a daily basis. "Don't do that." He mumbled taking Daryl's chin in his large hand. Rick's thumb traced over Daryl's lip gently. He eased the pressure the pad of his thumb created on Daryl's lips, every time he came across an open cut. "Have you been using any chap stick?" Rick asked his eyes shifting away from the steady gaze he held on Daryl's lips earlier. Daryl shrugged his shoulders but Rick wouldn't let him pull his jaw away from him. "It must hurt." Rick murmured looking back to Daryl's cracked lips. "Have you been worried about something?" Rick continued to run his thumb across Daryl's lips leaving Daryl to struggle and try to suppress the shivers Rick's touch caused to run through his body. Daryl barely managed to give a shrug when Rick looked hard at him clearly waiting for an answer from the hunter.

"No. Nothin' outside the normal stuff." Daryl mumbled, a lie but he didn't want a repeat of the last time he tried to explain himself. Rick didn't seem satisfied with the answer but didn't quite know how to push the issue farther. He released Daryl's jaw finally (which Daryl resisted massaging the blood back into circulation) and sighed deeply before he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Want to _do_ something?" Daryl scoffed through his nose. Rick chuckled softly. "That came out dirtier than I meant. Honestly. I was talking about hunting or going on a run." Daryl closed his eyes for a moment taking a mental count of their supplies. The last few days had been pretty boring due to the well-stocked mom and pop store they'd come across.

Guess people weren't thinking of small stores as having enough to provide for them long term when the world was dying around them. The meat was still keeping pretty well thanks to the drying they'd done on it. Leaving Daryl with little to do. There was actually a thing as having too much food in this world. Without fridges or freezers the shelf life of their meals was significantly less.

Maybe that's why Rick had spent the last few days attacking Daryl every chance he got, he was bored. No attacking wasn't the right word, Daryl thought. Attacking felt like Daryl didn't want it too, which wasn't accurate. He enjoyed the times they had together, just the two of them. Despite all the emotional noise he got after they separated for the night.

"No need." Daryl mumbled when he felt Rick's eyes on him. "We're good on food for a while." Rick nodded but he looked a little disappointed. Maybe boredom really was eating away at the man. Daryl would be lying if he said he wasn't bored too but on the flip side he'd rather he bored than have the group starving to death or worse under attack from walkers.

"Well I guess I could make my question earlier dirty again." Rick chuckled. Daryl's lips ached at the thought but his heart skipped with excitement.

"Is that what ya want? To _do _stuff?" Daryl almost rolled his eyes at the euphemism. Talk about awkward foreplay.

"We _have_ been doing nothing but make out for a while now."

"How long do ya usually consider a while?" Daryl grumbled under his breath.

"Okay that's fair. I've been too busy thinking about how easy it is to die now to really think about taking things slowly." Rick sighed, Daryl wanted to smash his head against a wall. Things felt so reversed. Daryl was struggling to keep up. Normally it was Daryl who was telling his one nightstand to take their clothes off. Of course normally he was in a shitty hotel room where the lock didn't work completely and a full bottle (or three) of whiskey slushing through his blood.

God what he wouldn't do for a drink now. Daryl thought rubbing his temple. Alcohol would make this whole….whatever easier. Or at least it would make these awkward moments they seemed perpetually stuck in move by faster.

What the hell, Daryl decided. Rick was right, the possibility of them dying was high, too high. Why wait at this point? Daryl knew he was avoiding the things that were bothering him about their relationship. But he could deal with that later.

"Like ya haven' said that before." Merle hissed in his ear. Daryl grabbed a handful of Rick's shirt and pulled him forward. Daryl crushed his lips against Rick's. Rick moaned happily as he pressed closer to Daryl.

Rick ran his hand over Daryl's back. He trembled every time the man's warm fingers brushed against his scars. The damaged skin instantly growing sensitive and almost like it was burning under Rick's touch. The skin felt like it had just been freshly broken and was still bloody and raw. But when Rick traced the parts of his skin that wasn't covered in scars it sent bolts of electricity to his toes. Daryl couldn't breathe as Rick's tongue pressed against his throat. Daryl's lip split in another area as he bit down sharply to stop himself from moaning aloud. Rick held onto Daryl tightly like he was scared the hunter would flee if he let go. Daryl doubted he could even remember how to stand let alone run. Rick nipped at Daryl's ear.

"Maybe I should talk dirty more often." Rick whispered hotly in Daryl's ear.

"When did ya talk dirty, exactly?" Daryl growled back his hands pushing Rick's shirt up, giving him access to the strong muscles on Rick's stomach. He ran his fingers lightly across Rick's chest, who shivered in response.

"Please. You know, the whole weather's getting better, that was _total_ dirty talk." Daryl rolled his eyes and snorted.

"Oh yeah, warm weather gets me all hot and bothered. But actually talking about it? Oh man you might have done the dirtiest talk ever. Might as well throw me down on the ground because I'm way too horny to think when you talk about the weather." Rick laughed breathlessly.

"I'll work on my weather related dirty talk for next time."

"I'll get ya a book." Daryl teased back as Rick worked his hands to Daryl's hips. His warm calloused fingers ran over the hunter's hipbones excitedly.

"You have books on dirty talk?"

"I have a book called _The Snuggie Sutra_." Rick laughed in Daryl's ear. He decided he loved the sound of Rick happy. It sent his head spinning. Any problems always seemed to faded in the face of Rick's joy. Everything was replaced with a simple bliss that made Daryl's whole chest warm and melt. The man's glee was almost infectious.

"I want that book. You'll have to lend it to me." Daryl smiled and held Rick tightly. He whispered in the man's ear.

"How 'bout I give it to ya? It'll be a present." Daryl followed his words with a quick suck on the man's earlobe. Rick trembled.

"You're too good to me." He moaned hotly. "So you said we've only been making out lately huh?" Daryl nodded but couldn't find his voice too busy listening to the pounding in his chest. "How's this for a change?" Rick grinned. Daryl glared and opened his mouth to respond. Rick cut him short by latching his teeth onto Daryl's neck. At the same time his hands drifted down Daryl's chest, slowly tracing his legs and stroking the inner part of Daryl's thighs. Even through his jeans Daryl could feel Rick's hands moving in painfully slow circles, teasing him. Rick refused to put his hands anywhere near where Daryl really wanted them to go. Rick's lips formed a smile on his throat.

"Asshole." Daryl hissed as his pulse raced around Rick's mouth and tongue. He sucked air in as Rick continued to move his hands and bit on Daryl's throat before licking the same spot. Rick chuckled deep and throatily. Daryl growing tired of feeling like he was the only one out of control grabbed a handful of Rick's hair and yanked him back. Rick quirked an eyebrow. His eyes bright with lust. He was panting slightly, matching Daryl's own harsh breathing. Daryl needing a moment to catch his breath, moved his hand over Rick's cheek. The man smiled gently and pressed his face into Daryl's warm palm. The stubble ticked him slightly. Strange, whenever their lips were locked Daryl never noticed the stubble on Rick's cheeks even though it should be all the more obvious.

He pondered the difference between the situations as his thumb wandered the officer's cheek. Rick's eyes drifted shut as Daryl continued moving his thumb absentmindedly. Daryl brought his left hand up and ran it through Rick's hair. It had grown longer than it had been the first time they met The vast differences in losing simple little things like haircuts was still surprising to Daryl.

He knew his own hair was growing longer and darker as he spent more time outside. But Rick's hair had started to grow out with a natural curl to it. Despite their infrequent bathing habits Rick's hair still looked pretty clean and overall well maintained. In a strong contrast to Daryl's which was unruly even before the world ended. Either that or he never had the patience to fuss with it long enough to figure out how to make it obey him.

"Having fun?" Rick mumbled, his breathing had returned to normal and he seemed relaxed. The switch between the biting and sucking to content didn't seem to bother the officer one bit. Daryl however could still feel his heart pounding and his blood was racing in a direction he wished it wouldn't. Rick had a small smirk that matched the mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes. He continued to run his hands around Daryl's thighs but slower and less aggressive than before.

"Hm." Daryl murmured. Rick's hands weren't helping him much but they weren't hurting either. In fact he seemed to be trying to rub blood back into his legs rather than redirecting the flow of his blood like before. "Upset ya aren' in control?" He teased trying to distract himself from the heat low in his belly. Rick shrugged in response.

"I don't mind letting you be in control." Rick looked up at him through his eyelashes. The look of utter trust and absolute respect reflected in his eyes made Daryl's heart tremble. The look shook him to his core. Rick's hand rested on top of Daryl's. He locked his gaze with the man in front of him. He waited a moment before pressing their foreheads together. Rick's free hand moved to the back of Daryl's neck. He started to run his fingers through the thin strands of hair. Daryl shivered slightly at the sensation.

"Never thought ya would give up control. Sorta the point ya made after the farm wasn' it?"

"Mm." Rick mumbled as he worked the tense muscles on the hunter's neck. "Only for you. If you were in charge, I wouldn't have to worry. You'd make sure everyone was safe."

"I'd rather not run stuff, thanks." Daryl managed to find his brain long enough to say that. Rick's hands had a way of melting all conscious thought from his mind.

"Then just with me?" Rick whispered against his temple. Daryl didn't know how to answer that. Did he want to be in control? Honestly, he'd never been comfortable being in charge of anyone outside of himself. He'd never been trusted to be in charge even as a child.

"I…" Daryl paused and worried his lip. Rick gripped the back of Daryl's neck tightly.

"Don't. You'll make it worse." Rick scolded. Daryl quirked an eyebrow at the man's expression.

"Why? Worried about not bein' able to make out?" Rick gave a soft laugh.

"Nah I'd probably make out with you anyway. I'd just prefer your lips to not be in pain after." Daryl snorted. Rick moved his fingers back to Daryl's hair. "Your hair is so soft."

"What?" Daryl gave an awkward laugh.

"Your hair. It's soft."

"Are yer fingers numb?"

"What no. Is that a joke?" Rick asked perplexed.

"My hair is anythin' but soft. Greasy, dirty, grimy would be better ways to describe it." Rick shook his head.

"No way. Lori's hair is getting greasy. Yours is soft." Rick ran his hand over the sides of Daryl's head; he entangled his fingers in the hunter's hair. "See? Soft." Rick smiled gently.

"Yer nuts." Daryl shook his head.

"Maybe." Rick sighed deeply after he ran his fingers through Daryl's hair a few more times. "We should probably start heading back." Daryl shrugged, things were going well today he didn't see the point in ruining such a rare and peaceful day just yet. Rick however seemed to think otherwise, he gave Daryl's leg a quick pat before standing and facing the hunter still seated on the ground.

"We could just stay out here if ya want." Rick smiled sadly. He looked like he wanted to just spend the day with Daryl but the way his eyes had changed colors alerted Daryl to Rick's feelings of obligation to the group.

"I wish we could, but Lori was looking for me a while ago and Hershel had a question for you."

"What? Why didn' ya say somethin' earlier?"

"Cause Hershel said he could wait until you got back." Daryl stared up at Rick incredulously.

"That's not what I'm talkin' 'bout. Yer wife was lookin' for ya, yet yer out here?" Rick looked completely unfazed by Daryl's words. He had the look that said Lori wasn't his wife but instead some lady in town he'd met once at a soccer game. Like he knew who she was but didn't care about her one way other another.

"I'd rather be out here with you, than in the house with her." Rick said softly. His eyes were full of longing and pain. Daryl wanted to feel bad for Rick and he did but at the same time Daryl knew that if he let Rick spend the rest of the day out here instead of with is family they would both regret it later. Rick especially. Plus the fact that Daryl was technically allowing Rick to cheat on Lori with him still bothered the hunter.

It seemed so unfair to Lori. Even though Rick said several times they weren't really together anymore and that did seem to be true. Rick didn't let Lori touch him. Hell he barely seemed to be capable of being in the same room as her. But still Daryl couldn't help but feel like he was creating a wedge between Rick and his family. That was something Daryl never wanted to do.

He stood up and started to walk towards the house.

"Come on. We're going back." Daryl said harshly, leaving no room for discussion. Rick's eyes reflected his disappointment and sadness at Daryl's harsh words but he obediently followed behind though rather slowly. When the house was in view on the horizon Rick finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. Daryl paused and glanced behind him. "I put you in an awkward position didn't I?" Daryl sighed. Rick had the look like a child did when they realized they'd done wrong and had upset their parents. It wasn't a look Daryl usually had when he was a child, but plenty of children had that same expression when they told their parents that they weren't really friends with him.

"Look…Let's just drop it and get back." Rick didn't seem very pleased with Daryl's compromise. In fact he looked even more upset. Daryl didn't know how to explain to Rick that he couldn't just let the man run away from his responsibilities especially if it was to spend time with him. It just wasn't in Daryl. Daryl started moving back towards the house until Rick's hand grabbed his wrist tightly. The hunter turned prepared to tell the man off but he wasn't prepared for Rick's lips to slam into his.

Daryl froze uncertain how to react while Rick pressed closer. He moved to deepen their kiss. Rick's tongue pressed against Daryl's lips. He knew he should be forcing Rick into the house but Daryl decided one more minute wouldn't kill them. Even better it might get Rick in the house without fuss. Daryl gripped the back of Rick's neck and opened his mouth slightly. Rick squeezed his wrist before slipping his tongue inside of Daryl's mouth. Daryl had no intention of letting Rick control this and he pushed his tongue against Rick's, fighting him for dominance. At first Rick seemed surprised by the move but judging by the tightening of his hand he quickly grew to enjoy their little fight. The wrestled their tongues together each fighting for control neither giving an inch to the other. It was Daryl's kind of kiss none of that soft chaste shit you see in movies. This was how real kisses felt powerful and passionate.

Daryl wanted to keep this going but he knew Rick wouldn't separate first and despite the pleasurable bubble in his brain, Daryl had a responsibility to the group and so did Rick. Daryl pushed against Rick's shoulders making the man take a step back. Rick groaned softly clearly displeased that they'd finished so quickly. "We have stuff to do." He reminded Rick.

"Yeah." Rick sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry." Daryl shrugged.

"It's fine."

"No really I am. You shouldn't have to be reminding me to act like an adult." Rick looked embarrassed at his own words. Daryl grinned.

"As long as I don' have to read ya a bedtime story and get ya a teddy bear I think we're good." Rick laughed deeply.

"The only book I'd have you read me is that Snuggie Sutra you were talking about." Rick teased and grinned back.

"Somethin' tells me it probably doesn' make the best bedtime story."

"Depends on the kind of bedtime you're intending on having." Rick shrugged.

"I'll give you that." Daryl smirked.

"Seriously though." Rick said growing sober his eyes clear and focused on the goals ahead of him. "Thanks for reminding me I can't just shirk my duties."

"That's what I'm here for, keepin' ya in line and bein' the resident badass."

"Well then mission accomplished." Rick's amusement reached his eyes again as they finished their walk towards the house. At the door to the house they both paused for a moment glancing at each other. They both knew they had to go in and deal with whatever issues arose in their absence but neither wanted to open the door just yet. Rick didn't want to deal with Lori while Daryl just wanted to spend more time in the woods. Rick sighed and slowly opened the door. "Might as well deal with whatever problems arose huh?"

"Yep." Daryl nodded following Rick into the house. Rick paused before leaving the entryway.

"I'll see you later?"

"Sure. I'm not goin' anywhere." Daryl agreed. Rick seemed pleased with this response for he left with a slight smile on his lips. Daryl scratched the side of his neck before heading towards the living room. It wasn't a huge house there was only so many places Hershel could be. Maggie and Glenn were in the room making doe eyes at each other. Daryl grinned slightly watching them trying to organize supplies but kept getting distracted by the presence of the other in the room. The fact that they hadn't already stripped down was impressive. Daryl considered sliding out of the room to allow them to make their 'love you' faces at each other in peace unfortunately Maggie noticed him.

"Daryl!" She cried flushing red.

"Hi!" Glenn said overly excited trying to cover his embarrassment.

"Hey." Daryl mumbled, realizing he'd clearly interrupted their plans to sneak off later. That explained their embarrassment. He cracked his neck hoping to find a good reason to escape from this.

"Oh! My dad was looking for you." Maggie suddenly realized.

"Do ya know where he is?" Daryl figured there couldn't be a better reason to get out of the hormones that the air was practically burning with.

"He went out with T-Dog to check the gas in the cars."

"He needed something from me I think." Daryl said starting for the door.

"Actually he just wanted to ask if you needed these." Maggie redirected him to the table, that had several novels set up neatly. Daryl picked each one up carefully and inspected their spines and the blurbs on the back.

"Where'd he find these?"

"In some of the boxes in the attic. Before we threw them out figured we'd ask our resident bibliophile if they were worth saving." Glenn grinned watching Daryl look at the books.

"A what?"

"And you've just ruined the illusion I created about you." Glenn groaned before sharing a soft laugh with Maggie.

"A bibliophile is a fancy way of saying book collector." Maggie said taking pity on the hunter.

"Couldn' ya have just said a book collector." He grumbled grabbing three of the six books. "Those three are in pretty bad condition and I already have those two. Use them if we need to start a fire."

"Thanks for checking them out!" Maggie called as Daryl left the room. He waved a hand behind him letting them enjoy their time together. Daryl was almost on the way to his room and bag but noticed that Carol was in the kitchen preparing their dinner.

"Need any help?" He asked shifting the books to one hand. Carol looked up her blue eyes were huge and bright with unshed tears. "Ya okay?" Concern filling him at her expression. She looked fragile like she was going to break at any second. It was like the Carol he'd met almost a year ago decided to return, it unsettled the hunter greatly.

"Yeah." She whispered staring out the window. Daryl set the books down and leaned his hip against the counter. He tilted his head towards her, willing to wait until she was ready to talk. Carol laughed softly and sadly. "You're not going to leave are you?"

"Not until yer ready to talk."

"The old you wouldn't even care if something was bothering me." Carol murmured looking at Daryl.

"The old me didn' care 'bout havin' friends. Or 'bout people's problems." Daryl explained feeling like the person he was when they first met wasn't really someone he wanted to be associated with anymore.

"I like the person you are now." Carol whispered taking Daryl's hand gently. She ran her palm over the back of his hand. "You've come a long way from where you started. Don't forget that." Daryl smiled slightly.

"Ya sayin' I wasn' charmin' before?"

"Charming and a little insulting." Carol smiled and Daryl chuckled.

"Ya might be right about that. But only a little." Carol squeezed Daryl's hand before releasing it.

"Thanks for cheering me up." She whispered moving her attention back to the dinner. Daryl nodded and moved to help her. A few minutes passed in silence as they worked. Daryl noticed that Carol kept glancing at him. Finally she sighed and stared determinedly at the trees outside the house. "If I say something will you promise to tell you the truth?"

"Sure unless yer are askin' me what I did before all this." Daryl tried to joke, Carol didn't seem amused by his attempt.

"Daryl promise me?" Her eyes were solemn. Daryl nodded, knowing Carol wasn't in the mood for more jokes. "I'm not sure how to go about this gently. So I'll just come out and ask." Daryl chewed on his lip. It wasn't like Carol to act like this, whatever was bothering her was clearly a big deal. "Daryl…" She locked eyes with him watching his whole face closely. "Are you and Rick in a relationship?" Daryl felt his stomach drop down. His whole body broke in a cold sweat. How?! How did she know? Daryl felt like he was tunneling out. "Daryl?" Carol asked again. "Will you answer the question, please?" Carol wasn't leaving him with an out and no way to escape the room.

"What?" Daryl asked his eyes wide as he continued to search for a way out.

"I saw you two." Carol sighed and turned to him. She put her hands on her hips. She stood in front of Daryl and cut off his access to the exits.

"You what?" He asked shock killing any quick thought process, he may have had earlier.

"Earlier. I saw you two together." When? His mind panicked at the stream or in front of the house? He didn't know which was worse… No the stream would be worse but either way he couldn't hear much outside of the terror screaming in his ears.

"I…" Daryl couldn't find his voice. He couldn't think.

"You're together right?" Carol sighed she seemed to curl in on herself.

"I'm not sure."

"So you just make out with anyone?" Carol asked getting angry. Her eyes slits as her face darkened.

"No!"

"Then you're either together or not!" Carol was fronting on Daryl trying to force him to answer her.

"I think we are. I mean…yeah I guess so." Daryl admitted feeling his face flush. This was the last thing he wanted to be talking about, especially with Carol.

"I think a part of me knew that…I just hoped…" Carol whispered biting her thumb. "I hoped that maybe there would be a possibility that we could…" She trailed off as her eyes got misty. Daryl felt even worse if possible.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered. He'd considered a relationship with Carol at one time. But he realized quickly that Carol was his best friend and he never wanted to do anything that could risk hurting her or her trust. Something that always seemed inevitable to whoever dared to try and date him. But in the end he managed to hurt her anyway. "I…God Carol I'm sorry." Daryl tried to explain himself but failed. Everyone around him seemed to suffer from being around him. Carol shook her head and wiped quickly across her eyes.

"No it's okay. I mean I never said anything…" Carol gave a small forced smile. "It's okay really Daryl." She whispered touching his arm gently. "Don't look like that. You didn't do anything wrong." Daryl looked down still feeling like he'd hurt her again. "Daryl?" She said taking his chin in her hands. "It's okay really. I mean he makes you happy right?" Daryl thought about that. Did Rick make him happy? Sure but the whole group made him happier than he'd been in most of his life.

But did Rick alone make him happy? He made Daryl stressed, worried, scared, and nervous. But he also made him excited and relaxed. Being with Rick made his chest feel like it was breaking. Like his whole body was being broken slowly starting from the edges and working into his core. However Rick also made Daryl feel like he was being repaired. Like Rick was healing the wounds Daryl had lived with his whole life. Rick made him feel whole but still broken all at the same time.

Was that happiness? He wasn't sure but he was sure he didn't want to end their relationship at least not yet. He suspected they're relationship would end eventually but just for a little longer Daryl wanted to be selfish and continue having a small piece of Rick all to himself. Just for a little longer.

"…yes. I mean… I think so. Yeah. Yeah he does." Daryl felt his cheeks flush as he stumbled over his words. How could he explain Rick and how he made him feel? He was still trying to work through that himself.

"Then that's all that matters." Carol moved forward and wrapped her thin arms around Daryl's back. "You're my friend. You deserve to be happy, really you do." Carol hugged him tightly. "If he makes you happy then that's all that matters."

"Ya sure?" Daryl mumbled nervously putting his arms around her too. Carol nodded.

"Yes, though if he hurts you I'll kill him." Daryl chuckled at Carol's words. "I wasn't kidding." She said softly, Daryl chuckled even more.

"Remind me not to get on yer bad side." Carol released him and smiled broadly.

"So let's talk, when did it start?" Daryl sighed and rested against the counter.

"Goin' to be like that is it?" Carol nodded. "Alright fine. I guess, as long as you don' write to some walker tabloid." The pair shared a laugh before Daryl started explaining everything that had happened the last few weeks. For once Daryl felt like things would actually be okay. Carol's soft smile and accepting nods to him, helped Daryl feel like maybe it was alright for him to be happy.

For him to be with Rick. The hope that maybe it was okay started to grow in his chest. Daryl allowed the feeling to take root inside of him while he ignored the voice in the back of his mind whispering that he could never be happy. That happiness and Dixon just didn't mix. Like oil and fire. Explosive mixture with Daryl right in the middle.

* * *

Wow! It has been forever since I've posted anything. I feel terrible about that. I'm sorry. Life got in the way and if I were really superstitious I'd say 13 is my unlucky number. But if I'm honest it was cause I've been stressing over the parts of this chapter that is getting closer to smut. I did my best to get it just right. Still not sure if it's perfect. I hope it's okay...*crosses fingers* I'm working my way towards the smut. Promise but I'm still super nervous about posting it. It'll be the first time I've ever put something like that up publicly. So like I said...nervous.

Anyway I wanted to get this up before episode 2 comes out! Very exciting! Hopefully everyone has been enjoying it! Thanks for reading! If you have time review let me know what you think! It really helps me know if I'm doing a good job with this story or not. See you next chapter!


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